I'm in the Game but it Doesn't Feel Like The Game
by longherin
Summary: The Random Number Goddess willed it, and here I am, inside the world of Pokemon. There's...not a lot of roses and frolicking, is there Good thing I played the game or this would be really bad. Warning: Language. This is my first work so be kind, criticize.
1. Chapter 0 - From The Other World

This is a shameless pokemon self-insert (also known as playing the game in words). Also my first work, so, uh, I dunno, be polite when you flame or something. Also the world is based on the Pokemon Adventure's world, but substantially more…real-ish.

Also copious swearing.

**Prologue – This isn't Kansas. I've never been to Kansas.**

{ === + === }

Dear god, ow. My face.

I went to bed, and I guess I rolled over or something. I dreamt pokemon, probably because I spent the past two hours trying to get a female Squirtle for perfect IVs. No dice.

I don't know why Gen six gave three perfect IVs for baby pokemon you catch. Not the ones you hatch though, just caught in the wild.

Guess all geniuses start young.

…

Huh.

My bed wasn't this prickly before.

Is this…grass?

Its grass isn't it.

Shit.

Snap to wakefulness, wait until body starts responding again.

Slowly roll over, open eyes.

WHAT THE FUCK.

There's open sky above me. Sky! Like, it's actually blue n'shit!

Alright, it's blue with smatters of white mixed in, but still.

Ok, so I'm suddenly outside. How the hell am I outside.

Shit.

Sit up, look around. I don't have my glasses so all I can see are blurs. This could be problematic.

Look at ground. It's grass alright. Really green grass too. Someone's been taking care of this lawn.

It's probably not a lawn, great.

Oh hey! My glasses! All hail the Random Number Goddess for small miracles! Well and the big one, I guess.

Pity it's my bad glasses, but it'll do.

Let's see…yep, forest, pretty thick forest.

I'm obviously not home anymore, since its winter and the trees are…leafy. Deciduous trees, by the looks of it.

…

Am I clothed?

Yes, yes I am. Good. Whew.

"Ok." Out loud, I need sound. "Stand up, and let's go check it out." Apparently I have imaginary friends.

Get up, feel a tad woozy. Still not a morning person.

…

Walked to the trees…yep, look like oak trees. Or something similar. So…

"Alright, wherever I'm at isn't winter. So…"

Number one, I'm outside, when I was sleeping. That doesn't tell me much, but at least some kind of…magic? Is responsible. I'm getting giddy, because honestly c'mon, magic.

Number two, it's warm out, so…I'm in my black shirt and long pants. I look too damn formal for camping.

Number three, I have shoes. This is good news.

Number four, there's no sign of…wait, there is. There's a road thing not far from here. I say road thing because honestly my eyesight is horrible and these glasses were only meant for reading a computer screen.

Better start walking.

[=Intermission=]

That…was a little further than I thought.

Not gonna lie, as much as I'm a computers man, being outside in this wonderful weather makes me feel good. When nobody's watching I have no issues jogging, so it took less time than I thought.

That said, the road is just that. A road. No asphalt or concrete or whatever, just a dirt trail that stretches to beyond where I can see on both ends. It goes kinda down on one end and kinda up on the other.

There's nothing on the road, no people, no signs, no nothing.

This is not good for my spirits.

…Oh hey, there's something red on the other side of the road.

Walk over, pick it up…

It's a pokeball.

Holy shit, it's a legit pokeball. It fits into my hand and everything, and it doesn't feel like a toy.

What. The. Fuck.

…

It just occurred to me no game actually covers the mechanics of the pokeball. So do I just throw it to see if it's empty, or…

I remember that one anime episode with the mankey and the onigiri way back when (I was like twelve or something) but for whatever reason I hesitate to use the anime as a source.

Oh well. Toss.

Nothing happened.

Guess that means it's empty.

Huh. So now I have an empty pokeball.

These things don't break after use for real, do they? That could be problematic if it does…

Moreover I don't actually –have- a pokemon, so I don't see how I can weaken something and then catch it.

Actually I do, but I feel not good about it.

Some poor Rattata is going to get a concussion via stick and then stuck into a ball.

It's good the game doesn't go into this kind of detail, yeah?

"In any case," I sigh, "Might as well follow the road and walk for a bit." I mime flipping a coin and choose to go...uh…left. My left, not your left. Actually it would be your left, nevermind. I'm going down, I'm going down. Down is good.

[=Intermission=]

I'm not sure how long I've been walking. My good mood at the weather's pretty much gone. Still not a soul in sight, and that puts me on edge.

I mean, yeah, there's sounds from the forest, but that fades into the background after a while.

For the record if there are pokemon in the forest they definitely don't call using their own names. Or maybe they're all like cats and only speak name-ish when they converse with humans.

The sun's directly overhead now. It's not hot per se, but the walking is getting to me.

Big tree, shade, let's sit and rest. I'm also getting hungry. This might be problematic.

"I can't really catch a pokemon and kill it; I don't have the tools." Oh lordy, is that really my reasoning? Then again I'm a meat eater, so I guess…well the bacon has to come from somewhere.

Resting, resting, resting…humming the route one track from the first gen games. Seems fitting.

"Except route one would probably have more foot traffic." Aloud. The lack of human noise is getting to me.

Rustling.

Shut up, get your feet beneath you, scan for weapons. I see a stick.

God damn, it's a setup for a brick joke. Grab stick, get away from tree, I can feel the adrenaline in my veins. Stand a little forward.

I may be a black belt but I haven't practiced for a long time. God this is going to suck.

More rustling. BLOB!

Backpedal, two-hand the stick. Blob lands in front of me. Purple body, small.

Goddamn it is a brick joke. It's a Rattata.

Y'know, you always think the Rattata is small n'shit. It's marginally larger than rats I'm used to seeing. The fact that it's purple takes off any edges it might have in terms of scariness though.

Focus. There's a Rattata in front of you and if Dwarf Fortress has taught you anything it's that carelessness will lead to deaths.

It's not moving, but it's certainly hostile. I have a stick, but if I act stupid it will come at me.

"Come at me bro." God dammit brain.

Rattata jumps at my face, holy shit it's fast. Games do not do justice on how fast animals are. Back away, flinch, ow. I'm a nerd for god's sake, flinching is in my blood.

Grazing wound. Step in, overhead bash with reduced speed. I don't wanna paste it.

I hit it?

Oh wow, I actually hit it. The thing's dizzy. Throw ball! Go go 255 catch rate!

…

Shit. I missed.

It wasn't even moving randomly or anything. Wow that's embarrassing. Go get ball. Club ratty lightly again for good measure. It's probably not happy with me right now.

I can't believe I missed at four feet. That's just sad.

Toss ball. It touches, good. Shaking, shaking, shaking…Ping!

I am now Youngster Joey.

…

That's actually a good point, I need an alias. Hrm.

...fuck it. Rouge Angles of Satin it is. I'll go with Axel. Axel Arma. And now I'm humming the Dark Knight theme.

God I love Advance.

Focus again. I now have a ball with a Rattata that I clubbed over the head twice, might be a good time to make amends. And maybe name the fella.

…

I am horrible with names. Either I'm stealing from another source (usually game) entirely or I'm trying to think of a name that would be demeaning for a pet. Ugh.

…

I actually thought of naming it "One Percent". It's funnier when it's a game.

…

Eh, maybe later.

"Rattata, come on out." I toss the ball. Rattata pops out looking dazed. I guess the two shots to the head weren't as light as I hoped.

Bend down, pet it on the head gently, hopefully make myself not as bite-able.

It's enjoying it some, so I guess the two hits were lighter than I feared. That's good. Considering I'm nowhere near a pokemon center, dear lord is that good.

My pessimistic side chips in: Since this is a little like the real world it might actually be possible for pokemon to die on screen. I'm not fond of the Nuzlocke challenge, thank you.

Anyways, the Rattata is now, if not friendly, then at least tolerant of me.

Pessimistic side would like to note that means pokeballs have brainwashing functions. I'm pushing that aside for later.

…

Turns out pokemon are rather knowledgeable of human language. Must be another function of the brainwashing.

The Rattata understood when I told it to go find some food, and it returned with…blue berries? Oran berries? Probably Oran berries; they were blue, right?

Oran berries are strangely filling. I guess 10 hp for humans is like all we have or something. Either that or I'm not that hungry yet.

Resting over, more walking and bonding with the Rattata now.

…

It's been…sheesh, I have no clue. Using the sun as a measure of time wasn't on my list of things to study "just in case". If I had to guess it would've been about two hours or so. My feet certainly seem to think so. Break time!

I've been taking the Rattata through his paces a little bit, get an idea of what they're good at. I wish I had the internet available right now but eh, play with what you're dealt.

So. Rattata. They're a pretty good mix of speed and mobility, and considering how small (compared to, say, an Onix) that's a pretty good thing. They also have pretty tough skulls since it didn't seem dazed at all after the two blows, and responded to commands pretty quickly. Makes me wonder if it wanted to be captured, or was previously injured in some way. It also seem to enjoy being out of the ball a lot more, but went back in after some walking. I guess the ball is climate controlled? I've been sticking to the shade but the heat is definitely getting to me.

Resting, resting, resting.

Rustling.

"Shit. Rattata!" I call the rat out again. It looks somewhat unhappy at my impromptu calling but rustling.

Another Rattata pops out. This must be a tutorial battle. "This is not game mechanics." I mutter.

Either that or the other rat is just faster, 'cuz it rushed my rat and the two rammed each other head first.

I didn't tell it to tackle. Shit. I have to actually pay attention.

Neither of them looked remotely dazed after that headfirst collision, so that means something else hurt my rat before I caught itFOCUS!

Other rat's charging again.

"Ratta! Jump left!" Talking isn't a free action. Ratta (my rat) made a small hop to the left and the other rat dove face first into the ground. "Bite!" C'mon Random Number Goddess…!

Woo! Ratta bit the other rat right in the torso. "Pull back!" Ratta pulls back as the wild Rattata thrashes (flail?) about. This ain't game mechanics so no arbitrary levels to know how to breathe. Yes!

The other rat takes one look at my rat and scampers off. Huh.

Ratta looks pretty proud of himself.

I hope that means he got experience.

Is it a he?

Let's just say it's a he until someone else tells me otherwise.

Ratta gets an Oran berry and a headrub as a reward.

…Wonder if this means I can teach it something insane like a thunder charge.

…Wonder what explosion does to pokemon.

[=Intermission=]

Grass is green! Trees are brown! Fuck this is boring!

I think another two hours have passed. We've been accosted by local vermin (read: more Rattata) but Ratty's been on the ball with his dodge-then-counter tactic. Sends them away almost immediately (I guess they're all level 2 or something). There was a brief moment of panic when a Pidgeotto tried to snatch it off, but we just hid because c'mon, large-ish bird versus small rat.

By passing the time I tried to pretend like I can assess my pokemon. As far as I can tell he's faster than the other Rattata and have pretty good attack, so one of those two are his strengths; if this were game terms he'd probably have tackle and bite. I'm sure tail whip's in there somewhere but actively lowering the enemy's guard is less useful than exploiting weaknesses in their guard. And growl, he can growl. It's not as adorable as the game sounds. "Growl cutely to lower enemy attack" my ass. It just made that Pidgey try to rip his eyes out harder.

Towns in game have short in-between distances precisely because walking for hours on end is boring. Ugh.

RUSTLE.

Every single time.

…

Nothing popped out.

I'm getting jumpy. It's bright, it's, well, not quiet, but not exactly filled with ambient noise around here; this is not doing any favors for my psyche.

…

And they let ten year olds do this? Yeesh.

…

Then again the ten year old would be accompanied by a kick-ass team by the time they reach the "not regularly traversed" paths. Imagine how many people travel between Pallet and Viridian if there wasn't a limit on the animation budget.

…

Ratty just stopped walking. He's looking around, sniffing the air. I'm guessing there's something unusual around here. It's gotten a lot quieter.

That's…a pretty bad sign, to be honest. I call Ratty to my side, get off the trail into some cover, and listen.

…

Sounds like…something or someone is going through the woods on the other side of the road. (Oh did I mention I'm STILL surrounded by trees?). I don't think there's enough constant noise to be more than one person. It's either a pretty big person or pretty close to us, judging by how loud it is though.

…

Oh, well. Sounds like the person (or Pokemon) just tripped and fell.

…

Sounds like a lot of somethings suddenly woke up. That's potentially not good.

"Ratty, we're checking it out, let's move." Ratty nods. God it's getting more adorable by the second. Pity it never had good enough bases for me to use in a regular game.

…

We're moving slow through the underbrush…underbrush? Undergrowth? I don't know. The not tree leafy things. Ratty's doing a better job by virtue of being small. Whatever the somethings are they've stopped moving. Let's see… clearing ahead. Ratty's tail is full up, straight as a pillar. Alert. Danger. A lot of danger.

Let's see what we're up against…

Jesus that's a lot of purple. And some blotches of yellow. And one giant spade-like blob of purple. I need new glasses.

…And they're very low on the ground, and long and elongated-like.

Ekans. And an Arbok.

And a girl.

As the master of understatements would say, we seem to have run into a little bit of trouble.


	2. Chapter 1 - From Lumiose Outskirts

**Chapter One: Purple Everywhere**

{ === + === }

I'm not sure I can convey just how quiet it is right now.

There is literally no sound besides the wind, and leaves rustling.

Ok, I'm not selling that very well. There's no animal based ambient noise.

Ratty's here, and I can see him trembling. Nevermind type match ups, a lone rat versus god knows how many snakes is a bad place to be.

Plus, there's the girl.

She's…dressed purple. I can see her legs, so a fairly short skirt. Blond hair that goes down to her shoulders.

Reminds me of the X and Y ace trainer. Adorable.

But problem is she's sitting upright and not moving. The Arbok is staring at her.

_Remember when you played Pokemon Crystal? _My pessimistic self helpfully adds in. Right. Arboks and their full heal eating Glares.

So, what do I do.

Option one. I rush in there like an idiot and get myself and the girl killed via snake bites due to breaking deadlock. For a number of reasons this plan has issues.

Option two. I let her know I'm here and…let things happen? Also runs the issue of getting both of us killed via snake bites.

I'm up an alligator infested creek dressed as a large cow. This is not good.

Saving grace, I'm actually not behind her. If I move myself a little I think I can get her attention.

…

Shit, an Ekans has started moving. This is potentially very bad.

… Fuck it, all in.

"Ratty, I need you to distract the Arbok." I say as quietly as possible after picking him up and falling back a few paces. Don't like this but there's very little choice. Ratty is not amused, like if he had civil rights and could sue I'd be in seven kinds of trouble not amused.

"You don't have to fight it, just keep it distracted." Ratty makes what I swear is a noncommittal shrug and scampers off.

I follow him to the edge of the clearing, that Ekans is a lot closer. Jeez we're cutting it close.

"Go!" With that, I spring into the clearing, Ratta dashing at top speed at the Arbok.

"Don't look at its eyes!" I yell out while charging at the close-to-girl Ekans. My god did I underestimate just how many of them are there. Shit.

The Ekans stopped its advance to the girl to look at me, and she made what was probably a monumental effort and dove for her bag. The Ekans looks back at her and I bop it on the head with my now trusty stick.

She takes out a small bottle and sprays herself in the face, and coughs. Y'know, if this wasn't a serious situation that would be insanely stupid.

…

Isn't Paralyze Heal a spray-type medicine?

I can hear Ratty trying his best to keep the Arbok busy. I'm pretty sure he's doing zilch damage but all the growling and occasional bite to the…uh…middle of its body is annoying the large snake to no end. The other Ekans, thank the Goddess, are confused and aren't really doing anything besides watching.

…

Shit! Ekans went for the girl!

…

She conked it with her bag. And she has three balls in her hand. Blue, blue, yellow. Two Greatballs and an Ultraball. Huh.

"Go!" She tosses the balls and out comes…

Holy shit.

A Rhyhorn, a Sandslash, and a Staravia.

The Arbok has now ignored Ratty entirely. I don't blame it.

"Ratty! You're done, fall back!" I call, and Ratty runs at top speed back towards me. I can see bruises and scratches on his body. Even if the Arbok didn't hit him every time he bit it the large snake threw him off to a tree or a rock, where he would re-charge the snake at top speed. I can see he's having trouble standing, but he's standing his ground in front of me.

Little guy gets mad props.

"Stand down." I command, and Ratty gives this defiant squeak. I bodily pick him up and put him on my shoulder, and feed him a berry. Only then does he (sulkily) accept that he's out of the fight.

…

By the way, while I'm busy reconnecting with my rat of a thousand balls, the girl's Rhyhorn is busy running face first into any Ekans it sees. It's becoming somewhat obvious (after about the fifth charge) She's doing it on purpose to run them off, as opposed to actively crush them under the weight of the Rhyhorn. Also a rampaging Rhyhorn is really loud.

Occasionally one of them would try to sneak by, only to be repelled via Sandslash slash.

After about minute of this display, all the Ekans call it a day and pulls out.

They're really fast about it. One second they're there, the next: poof.

The Arbok is…there. It's tussling with the Staravia. I guess the bird took over for Ratty. To be fair the Staravia is a much bigger threat than a small rat with a large heart and brass balls.

Oh Ratty, if only you could wield weapons, then I'd call you Martin.

The girl's done surveying the surrounding for any stray Ekans (I guess) and done giving me the once over. I can't tell if it's good or bad though.

"Staravia, end it now!"

I'm gonna admit I was expecting a more feminine command.

The Staravia gained some extra height and dove straight for the Arbok's head, raking it with its claws. I'm assuming that's Aerial Ace. It then flew some distance away (about five tree's worth. So…what, twenty feet or so?) and made a fast as hell dive before pulling parallel to the ground.

Brave Birded itself right into the Arbok's torso, knocking it clean into the rock behind it.

The girl took out a ball (blue, great ball) and threw it at the Arbok. Considering she's probably fifteen feet from it and hit it square on the chest her arm's much better than mine.

There was the shaking, and then the ping. And a collective letting out of breath.

"Thanks for the help."

It just occurred to me I didn't listen to her actually give commands to her Pokemon. I mean, granted, the Rhyhorn charging down the Ekans at full bellow was loud as hell, but you'd think my ears would work a little better than that.

I shrug. "Glad to help; how'd the Arbok get you?"

She sighed. "I was looking for my bag. It had it, I grabbed it, and things went from there." She sounds tired; must be the adrenaline wearing off.

"Huh." I have nothing interesting to add to that tibit, and settled for petting the Rhyhorn, which wandered near me. It looks…unwilling to run me over. That's a good sign.

Urge to name the Rhyhorn Horny rising.

Remembering the HornyHare from DragonQuest 3 not helping.

The girl rummages through her bag, and I take a proper look at her, especially now that I'm within glasses range.

She's the textbook picture for the X and Y Ace Trainer. I'm impressed and amazed. And a little smitten.

I like the Ace Trainer in those games. She's adorable. By extension the girl in front of me is also adorable.

…Well, the girl in front of me has a lot more additions to her outfit. Number one, there's this thing strapped to her leg. That I am staring at.

I feel my Creep Value skyrocketing.

She sees me staring at the leg thing and raises an eyebrow. "It's a tracker." Total deadpan. Adorable frowny face.

I shrug. "Interesting place to wear it." The girl doesn't respond but continues going through her bag. Though I did catch a faint head shake.

"So, uh, I never got your name." It isn't really silent around here but the air hangs heavy with unmistakable signs of awkward. She spares me a cursory glance.

"Elenda". I guess she can double cast. Or did I mis-remember my names? I'm terrible with names.

"Axel". I give a small wave and watch her eyebrow go sky high. Guess she figured out it was a (bad) alias immediately since she's almost immediately on guard.

The Rhyhorn picked up on its trainer's feelings and was immediately hostile. It's like a cat when you pet where he doesn't want you to and he sinks his teeth into your hands.

I raise my hands in surrender pose. "I have a valid explanation. Hear me out." I'm from another world, one where I take little critters and breed them forever.

[=Exposition=]

Welp, Elenda at least accepts my explanation.

I also dug a little deeper for information and found out that we're near Route 16 in the Kalos region. For the record I'm also bad with maps, but I think we're close to Poke!Paris if I have my maps right.

"Considering you have no money on you I don't think going anywhere is going to help." Elenda had said about the town. That's honestly an issue.

The game economy is simplified and watered down for the sake of easy single player play. Which means I'm right back in that creek without a paddle. Goddammit.

I'm not going to mooch money off of her, if only because I still have shreds of pride. Plus she's too adorable to leech off of.

…

Come to think of it, we're near Route 16 but this area isn't represented on the maps (at least, not that I'm aware of). "Out of curiosity, where on Route 16 are we?"

She's done checking her bag and seems satisfied everything's where it should be, and is now checking her Pokemon. Probably for injures. "This is a small mountain trail" Yeah I got that much, thanks, "that not many people use; I think it used to be a nature preserve." You might wanna look at the Staravia first since Brave Bird is bad for his health.

More food for thought, although it explains the presence of Generation one Pokemon. Then again I don't think the games represent the entire ecosystem within each route. That would be really taxing on system memory. I haven't told her this is a game from where I'm from, don't know why but somehow doing so didn't seem right to me.

"So why did you come up here, if you don't mind me asking." That sounded more…offensive, than I intended.

She's finished checking Rhyhorn and returns him (I'm gonna start calling all Pokemon "him" until I get told otherwise, except the genderless ones) to its ball. "I was told there would be rare Pokemon here. The past three days have proven otherwise." Time to take a shot in the dark.

"Haven't been sleeping well then?" What a horrifically bad shot.

She stares at me in surprise for a moment then goes back to checking Sandslash. No answer. Guess that means I hit the mark. Or I missed so terribly she's resisting a facepalm. Why couldn't she be more anime-ated? _That was horrible._

"Regardless, I'm out of balls, so I'm headed back down the mountain. If I leave you alone you'll probably die out here" _She's right, you know _(Yeah, just really morbid for a Pokemon game) _true _"so come with me and I'll drop you off at a police station or something." Yay.

"Sounds good to me." I shrug. "Also I'll need to replace this ball for you."

"What makes you think that's mine?" She's curious, not offended. Thank god. She's also done checking Staravia. Sandshrew had no injuries due to not actually having been in the melee.

"Relatively unused trail." I deadpan.

Now she's curious, but also getting cautious. "I appreciate the gesture, but I didn't come up here with any Pokeballs."

Well now I'm embarrassed.

"Change of plans, we're heading up the trail." She said and pulled out a green ball. Nest ball? Probably a nest ball. Out pops a Rapidash. "Get on."

No complaints from me. "I've never ridden a horse before." Ok, maybe one complaint.

She rolls her eyes. "Just hold on to me."

…

Uh.

I am deeply uncomfortable at this situation, where I'm expected to use a girl smaller than me as support. My Creep Side is creeped out, for god's sake.

…

I guess she was too focused on the situation to notice how, uh.

I'm just gonna drop the issue. Focus. Her perfume smells nice though FOCUS GOD DAMMIT

With the help of the Rapidash we made good time up to where the trail eventually disappeared.

Elenda stopped, and we jumped off. It's a good thing the Rapidash wasn't very bouncy or that would've been a lot of pain and agony.

Right, well, first things first.

Look down.

…tracks?

Doesn't really look like tracks. Elenda looks down as well and I guess her eyes are better _She's an Ace Trainer, of Course she's better_ because her eyes focused on one spot for a while and then followed where I guess it points to.

"Staravia!" She called out the bird. "Fly over there and report back when you see other people." It nodded and took off. Good idea.

"Ratty." I called Ratty out; he looks…rested. I squat down; maybe I should've thought this out first beforehand. "Can you move quickly?" He nods, good.

"Go in that direction and check for humans, pay attention to the wooded areas and come back when you see someone."

Elenda nods and sits down – wow, she even pulled out a handkerchief to sit on – and pulls out a bottle of water. I'm still on my berry juice, so that's good, I think. I don't know how that's relevant but it's good.

We spend the next few moments waiting while I pick her brain for information.

…

The biggest thing is, this is the post-game after the events of X and Y. Like, really post game. Geosenge was involved with some apocalyptic world ending event (she didn't know the details, but c'mon. Lysandre and Team Flare and their misguided anti-tragedy of the commons ploy) that ended up with it having a huge hole in the middle of the town.

Because there was a huge hole in the middle of town the town relocated. Far enough to be safe should something happen but close enough to still use the hole as a tourist trap.

Biggest shocker though, the event happened around five years ago. That's…surprising. I figured there would be time flow because this is reality, but sheesh, five years?

I asked about the people responsible for stopping that event.

Turns out it was effectively a combination of police and Pokemon!SWAT teams that did the trick. No band of five heroes this time, I'm assuming because without the player filling in as one of them Calem and Serena were not exactly useful. The other three were…well, the other three.

When asked about the person who did it, she shrugged and said the last thing she knew he was in jail. So he was rescued out fine. The professor of Kalos was also detained for some time to investigate his ties to "Active Terrorist Cells". A shame, but it makes sense.

AZ disappeared after the ceremony, so I guess he's back to wandering. I name-dropped him on Elenda and she just gave me a blank look, so it's fair to say nobody knew where he was the past five years. Probably living a good, simple life with his rare Floette.

I could do more digging, but I think I need the Pokemon equivalent of Wikipedia for that. A lot background establishment the games don't do. Ugh.

…

Ratty's back. Staravia's back, too.

…

I wait for the day where I can have a team of Pokemon instead of just one because this is stupid.

Ratty and Staravia told the same story. There's a bunch of people dressed in black (or Staravia's feathers, given Ratty pulled one out for whatever reason) some distance from us. Apparently there's a clearing beyond the trees here.

So we go check it out.

…

So we're here checking it out.

I think a line has been crossed somewhere multiple times.


	3. Chapter 2 - From Lumiose Outskirts 2

**Chapter Two: Line? What Line?**

{ === + === }

Elenda is pissed.

Thank god she's still got some level of self-control, or we'd be in some level of trouble.

The two of us are hiding and watching the group of people standing in the clearing not too far from us.

My eyes are still bad, and the sun going down doesn't make me feel any better. But the people in the clearing are wearing all black with a large red blotch on their chest.

Doesn't take a genius to figure out what that might be.

...

Biggest problem was the group of little blobs that are on the ground.

…

Not for the first time, I hope my eyes are wrong.

Because if they're not, it means Team Rocket graduated from Grand Theft Pokemon to full out murder.

…

One way to be sure.

I put my hand on Elenda's shoulder, and she gives a small jump. Did she forget I was here?

She did. Huh.

"Ratty." I call him out, keeping my voice at a whisper. Seem to be doing that a lot today. "Go check out the people on the ground. See if they're still breathing." Ratty looks at the bodies, nods, and scampers off.

I'm…honestly not sure which outcome to root for. Elenda's anger hasn't subsided, but she's at least delayed the pummeling I'm kind of sure she was going to deliver.

Hasn't stopped the dirty looks though. I like being careful, what'd you expect?

…

We spent the next few minutes waiting for Ratty's report while trying to listen in on the Rockets talking. Not hard; they weren't all that quiet.

…

So they're actually not Rockets. They're assholes posing as Rockets. What the fuck.

Elenda looks…well, ok, looks like she doesn't really care either way.

She's also shaking. Either she's more scared than she lets on or she's about to introduce Leeroy Jenkins to the Pokemon World.

It's not that cold, so…

…

Ratty's back.

The people on the ground (three boys, two girls) are still alive, although how Ratty hesitated a little bit (I held out my hands and told him to tap my left if dead, right if alive, for how many people there were) on two hits makes me think two of them are not going to remain alive pretty soon.

"Elenda. What does your tracker do in emergencies?" She jumps again when I call her name. Seriously, it's been a few minutes and I'm right here for god's sake.

"It's an SOS for Pokemon rangers if I get into trouble." She whispers back.

She then presses it and charges the Rockets.

NO WARNING AT ALL. WOMAN, THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Staravia, Sandslash, and Rhyhorn comes out.

"Oh what the fuck." I sigh, and charges after her.

…

Now that I'm closer I can see what happened to the people on the ground. They couldn't be any more than fourteen.

The boys look like they've been cut about a few hundred times. Nothing major since they don't look like they're bleeding out (Goddess, let me have this one) but the amount of blood is concerning.

The girls also have cuts, marginally less and some of it looks like it was made after they were brought down. I don't want to think about why, but I can feel my bloodlust rising.

…

Rhyhorn charges in at full pace, scattering the fake Rockets and fortunately missing the bodies on the ground.

Staravia's actively trying to peck out their eyes.

Sandslash is protecting Elenda, who has charged straight into and over the downed people.

Congratulations you impulsively adorable girl, you just killed your mobility.

"Ratty, go for their ankles." I say to it. He nods and scampers off. I feel perfectly justified and runs at the Rockets. Rhyhorn is too far to cooperate with, so Staravia will have to do.

The Rockets recover from their ambush shock and calls out their Pokemon.

This is no game event where you fight the Rockets one by one for six people.

There's a swarm of Zubats, a few Ekans, and some Bellsprouts. As well as one Mightyena.

A small part of my mind quipped that this would make for an interesting Heroes of Might and Magic mod.

The Rhyhorn roars and charges straight at the Bellsprouts.

Now, some people might think the Bellsprouts have a type advantage, and if the Rhyhorn is hit then it would be in the bad shape.

Those people haven't seen a Rhyhorn charge into three Bellsprouts at once. The Bellsprouts were winding up their vine whips when the Rhyhorn ran into them, and ran them over.

I say that because the Rhyhorn didn't stop; it ran over about half of the Bellsprouts before its charge led it out too far and it had to stop.

Unfortunately that means it was coated with Razor Leaves and unable to get back into the fight.

Elenda is…busy trying to resuscitate the downed people. For the love of…

"Hey! Focus on the war here!" I yell after pulling out the fist I had driven into the nearby Rocket's stomach. Blackbelt, nerd, but at least I can throw a punch. Only when I'm attacking though.

Another Rocket's actually running at me. Huh. More balls than I gave them credit for. Step to his left, right elbow to face, step behind, right elbow to back.

Her Staravia's abandoned the eye-pecking and has flown up, dragging all the Zubats with it. One to 36. Not exactly wonderful odds. It's essentially an Aerial Ace vs Wing Attack, Bite fight. Staravia's proving superior, since every time it attacks a Zubat falls from the sky; however, it only has small windows to attack, since, y'know, 30something Zubats.

I am now suddenly very scared of Zubat caves.

Shit, Mightyena.

…

I'm, uh, kinda screwed here, aren't I?

"Sandslash!" Girl's voice. Elenda. Oh shit, you didn't just tell it to come help me.

You did. God dammit.

The Sandslash rammed into the Mightyena with its spike-covered back. Rollout, I suppose.

It wasn't enough to down the large black wolf-dog-thing outright, but the two are now facing off against each other.

For my part I rush to knock out as many fake Rockets as possible. I got two already, eight left.

Third. Dude has a knife. Who the hell keeps a shiv?

Jump kick to stomach (I can't get good enough jump height, lay off), knock him to ground, probably broke some bones.

Land poorly and nick myself on the knife.

…

That is sad. Get back up. Ok, just a grazing wound. A small amount of good luck.

More Zubats are falling.

By the way, you know the Zubat cry from the games? Imagine that on loop 36 times over.

It's loud. And every time it gets louder a Zubat plummets to the ground.

It's a din of Zubat cries and the Staravia picking them off like a total baller.

I'm going to catch one and call it a Raptor.

And then get a Talonflame and call it a Flanker.

…

Elenda's actually not bad in a scuffle, it turns out. One of the Rockets wizened up to the fact she's a (fairly) small girl and tried to take her down.

Let the world know that this girl does in fact know about targeting weaknesses and have no qualms about doing so to other people.

Oh wow, he screams loud. I'd feel shared sympathy in any other scenario.

…

Guy behind me. Ram into him with elbow.

He's surprised. I've already proven I can fight, why be surprised. Keep in. Punches to stomach, don't let up until he's down.

…

Ok, good. That makes…five?

The Bellsprouts aren't doing anything now that Elenda recalled her Rhyhorn. And she pulls out a fourth ball.

Out comes…Hoothoot.

A Hoothoot.

O...kay.

The same small part of my mind quips that we haven't actually seen any Kalos-specific pokemon, despite being in Kalos.

…

The Hoothoot is…not fast, but it's pecking the shit outta the Bellsprouts. Who, in their credit, are trying to bury it under Razor Leaves; it's not really going well.

GAH! I'm on the ground face down. Shit. Roll and get back up, c'mon, hurry.

Sixth guy hit me square in the back. Have to focus on my fights.

…

Shit, this guy's actually pretty good.

I've hit him a few times but he's pretty much trucked through all of it, and the difference in weight means every hit I take I feel it.

Ow. Nerds don't have pain tolerance.

Adrenaline is helping, but not by much.

Guy's coming at me, smirking.

And that smirk changes to pain.

Ratty apparently know about Big Damn Hero entrances. Capitalize. Step in, uppercut to stomach. Dude bends over now that he's concentration is gone. Grab his back. Knee. One, two, three. Step out. Chop to neck.

Dude's still standing. Fine. Jump chop to neck!

He's down. I think that might get me manslaughter charges, but I'm beyond caring.

I hear a scream and turn around.

Elenda's been pinned to the ground. Apparently the guy ignored whatever rules of combat existed and just jumped on top of her. Hard to fight like that.

"Ratty." I don't even need to finish the sentence. The little guy knows what need to be done, and runs full tilt toward the guy pinning her down. Three left. And they're...

Converging on Elenda. That's very not good. The Rhyhorn separation was instrumental is us not being dead.

Work through the pain. C'mon.

Spare a glance at the sky. Half the Zubats are gone, the other half are having trouble.

Staravia is in dire straits. The glancing blows and attacks it barely couldn't dodge are adding up. Good thing Zubats don't have as much endurance.

…

Shit.

I wasn't thorough enough.

Some of the other guys I downed before are getting back up.

Need to get Elenda out of trouble, now.

Running.

High Jump Kick!

Scattered the three that are converging.

Ratty bit the guy pinning her on the neck. Man, the little guy really knows when the gloves come off.

…Oh. Oh shit. He hit something major.

Fake Rocket's now bleeding.

…

Oh well.

…

Kick him on the side and knock him off.

Elenda looks shaken, but gets her composure back quickly and gets back up.

She's also a tad red, so I guess she felt compromised.

Considering one of my "what could've happened" conclusions at the start of this fiasco I can't blame her.

…

Five guys left, plus one that's staunching off the bleeding with one hand. Ratty didn't bite too deep.

Not sure if murder was what I wanted on my list, either.

…

Staravia has fallen. Elenda recalled it and things thankfully quiet down.

I didn't really notice the din, to be honest. Too much adrenaline. Ears still ringing.

And now we're in trouble.

There's…what, a dozen Zubats left. Sandslash is still locked in combat with the Mightyena (I can hear them snarling now; guess it's been blow for blow so far). The five Fake Rockets have more or less rallied, sprouting various wounds but obviously not enough to bring them down, and adrenaline is countering whatever slowing effects being injured is supposed to have.

Random Number Goddess, I could really use a 20 right about now.

…Apparently I rolled a zero. One of them had a pokemon in reserve and pulled it out.

A Riggenrola. Roggenrola? I don't know its name. Black rock with rock shooting face hole. There we go.

I move to cover Elenda the best I can, but I reacted too late; it's already shot at her. Elenda moved when she saw it, but the rock (and thankfully it's small) struck her on the arm, and I hear her yelp in pain and cradle her arm. I hope it's not broken.

I think one of them's taunting, but honestly I'm too pissed to care.

I wish I had my Salamence.

Shit, focus. Ratty…where'd Ratty go?

Ratty is...limping back. He's favoring his right front very heavily. That means his left front is broken. Was he stepped on? Shit. I just keep rolling zeroes.

Well, ones, I guess. Ratty isn't dead so that's good.

I recall Ratty to his ball. He's far too loyal for a Pokemon with Run Away.

…

There's now an impasse.

Ok, no, there isn't one. We're being shot at by the Roggenrola while the Fuckets are laughing their asses off.

Saving grace, the Roggenrola seems to be missing us on purpose, or at least either grazing us or not hitting at full power. I'm shielding Elenda but I'm still nerdy and weedy, so shots still get through. Every time she yelps I feel worse.

For the record I'm grunting in pain every time I get hit, so it's not exactly total manly silence. It's taking a lot of my concentration to not break out in swears every time.

I like to pretend I have standards.

…

How long has it been now? Five minutes? Since the start of the barrage?

The Fuckets (Fake Rockets, y'know, in case you haven't figured it out yet) have caught on to their Roggenrola deliberately missing, and are whipping it with a Bellsprout.

Keep going down the path of no return, why don't you.

I'm no longer standing; my legs have taken too much punishment.

Sandslash brought down the Mightyena, but didn't have the strength left to fight. So it's covering for Elenda on my urging.

Well, more like it's just doing it on its own. I just put in a line to look good.

I hear screeching.

…

Screeching?

Thank the Goddess, Elenda rolled a twenty.

Pokemon Rangers have arrived.

And my do they arrive in style.

Let's see…

Six rangers, all on Pidgeots – workhorse Pokemon of the day – and

HOLYSHIT

[=20 minutes later=]

Uh, wow.

The Rangers showed up on the backs of Pidgeots, and what was the first thing they do?

SWEEP THE FUCKETS WITH HYPERBEAMS.

Most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I'm amazed nobody died to that insanely epic overkill.

Needless to say, after that Show Of Force the Fuckets surrendered immediately.

The police (which are not all Jennys) showed up some time later and took them into custody. Two of the (broken bones and rat-chewed artery) are being taken to the hospital, the rest plus their burn marks are being taken to the station.

A different one than the one we're going to.

…

Elenda's adrenaline gave out and she collapsed after the police arrived.

Turns out the Arbok bite had venom behind it, and the Antidotes she was applying when I wasn't looking had slowed it down for the duration of the afternoon, but it's acting up again now. I can't tell if that's very smart of her or insanely stupid.

So we're in an ambulance now while an on-car Kirlia takes care of Elenda. I'm not sure why a Kirlia but I assume it's because an on-site Chansey would be too fat and round.

…

My god she's pale.

Elenda, I mean.

…

Oh lordy. I'm tired. It's getting dark out now, too.

I wish I had a watch.

[=== + ===]

Aaaand now I'm out of backlog material.

Let me know what you think, what I can do better, what I can be clearer on, etc etc etc.


	4. Chapter 3 - From Lumiose Hospital

Standard "I don't own anything" tibit here. Serious, if you think I do I laugh at thee.

Behind your back, obviously.

[=+=]

Chapter** Two: A Journey Begins. Kinda.**

I believe this is the first time I've ever been in a hospital as a patient.

It's not like my wounds were severe or anything, but I've spent the past two days in this hospital healing up and generally being fed. Pokemon Hospital food is pretty good, actually.

Anyways, I had nothing to do for the two days, so a little digging was in order.

First topic: Legendary Pokemon.

They don't exist.

At least, not as catchable entities. Not for the lack of trying, however.

…

Legendary pokemons are, I'm guessing here, physical manifestations of a "concept". So like Moltres would be the concept of "fire", in the shape of a bird. Likewise Entei is also "fire" in the shape of a…uh…giant dog thing? Anyways, a Legendary Pokemon (or legendaries, since there have been more than one of them) will occasionally appear during a "time of need" and ally with a trainer when necessary, but it is utterly impossible to catch a Legendary and live to tell about it afterwards.

The last instance of Legendaries appearing (besides 5 years ago, during the whole Lysandre thing) was 30 years ago, when the first pokedex holders where in their youths. This means that Red, THAT Red (The one Ash Ketchum pretends to be as good as), is probably in his fifties now.

In a side note, Forum flame wars in the Pokemon world is also a thing. Although they lack references to a certain leader of a country from a few decades ago. Also Ash Ketchum does in fact exist in this world and is Professor Oak's replacement after he passed away. That Ash actually accomplished something is notable in of itself.

…Focus. In any event, catching a lengendary is out of the question. Psuedo-legendaries are also hard to find, because their unevolved forms (say, a Bagon) is protected heavily by their evolved form parents (in one instance, four Salamences). A team of trainers went to try and capture a Bagon and ended up in the emergency room with severe burns.

Salamences are serious business.

…

So what about the rest of the Dex holders?

It's a little hard to tell even with the power of the internet (this world doesn't have a Wikipedia equivalent; or rather, it's not as constantly maintained) but in a nutshell.

Green runs the Viridian gym, the toughest Gym in all of Johto/Kanto combined.

Gary, his alternate version self, is the chairman of the Kanto Gym Leaders Association. That must be confusing as fuck during face to face meetings.

Blue, or "Unnamed girl lead from FireRed/LeafGreen", kinda sorta disappeared about twenty years ago. No idea where she is but the assumption is she's still alive and kicking because being a dex-holder gives you plot armor.

_That's not how reality works _yes it is shutup.

Gold heads the Association for Pokemon Breeders in Johto, Silver vanished without a trace. Crystal's a teacher at the Pokemon school in…first town in the Generation 2 games.

Ruby (Brendan, but there's no Brendan as far as the internet can tell me) is the grandmaster Judge of Hoenn and Sinnoh contests. Sapphire (May, but again, no May) took over for Professor Birch.

Interesting footnote for Sapphire. She served a minor jail sentence for nearly burning Pacificlodge (the town with all the floating buildings in the ocean) down to the…water. Reason it was minor was because nobody got hurt and _technically_ she wasn't the cause of it (a swarm of Gyarados were) but she had responsibility for not leading them away or something. It didn't get the Hoenn police force any good reputation.

Diamond, Pearl, and Platina are all MIA after going into the distorted world made by…the big god centipede thingy. I never played Platinum. As far as the world is concerned they're KIA, so that's a bummer. [_Master of the Understatement, you are] _Shutup.

Nothing on the Gen5 game heroes, unfortunately. I would like to snoop around more but there's not enough info. Plus some of the sites are blocked for various reasons. Makes me wonder.

No real information on the various nefarious teams that exist across the Pokemon World. There were more than a few forums pointing out how odd it is practically every region had its own organized crime ring (with Johto/Kanto sharing the biggest one, and Hoenn sporting two) and how odd it is that they've more or less made a comeback. And pretenders, lots and lots of pretenders.

The bastards.

…

"Hey. How do you feel?" I hear a girl's voice and look up from my borrowed laptop.

Elenda. "I think I'm being overreacted on." I shrug. "Considering how much more damage you took you should be in worse shape than me."

She leans on the doorframe. "Oh please, I'm a Trainer. Things like this happen all the time." I assume she means the poisoning, not the massive one vee ten battles.

Well, whatever works. "So what's up?"

She walks over to me and hands me a parcel. "Reward money from the Rangers for Peacekeeping duty. This is yours." I guess she got hers already. I open it up and there's…let's see.

Five thousand Pokemon Money. Not bad.

"Nice. This helps a long way." I grin, and look inside the packet again. There's some more stuff.

A bus pass and a Ranger's Invite?

"What's this for?" I wave the Ranger's Invite.

"The Rangers'll be happy to have you as a member, is what it means." Elenda sits next to my bed. "Honorary training or for you to become a Ranger."

Huh. Food for thought, and possibly useful later.

There was a moment of slightly uncomfortable silence.

"So, uh," She's in a purple t-shirt and shorts. What is it with Ace Trainers and the color purple, anyway "what do you plan to do after this?" Also, there's frills on that shirt. God she's adorable.

She tilts her head to one side. "Well, now that the whole Rare Pokemon neat Lumiose thing is a bust" eyes low, increase altitude "I'm heading to Santalune, and then to Snowbelle." I don't think she caught me. Whew. Or she did and just didn't feel like mentioning it.

"What about you?"

"Um." Good question. I've been in this world for all of three days, two of which were spent in a hospital. I have a vague image of the map because Fly, and I don't really know the names of most towns. That being said. "Probably Geosenge."

Her eyebrows went up. "That place? Why?" To see the massive hole in the ground.

I tap the laptop in response. "It sounds interesting." She shrugs and stands back up.

"How well do you know the region?" She asks.

"Not at all."

"Well, you can take an Express bus to Cyllage and then go from there." She stops at the door. "Geosenge is essentially gone though. After that happened." And she leaves.

I know what she's talking about but hell. A little less cryptic would be nice.

…

Turns out the Ranger Tracker had a hidden camera that activates when the Tracker is activated, in case anyone decides to screw with said Rangers, so they saw me and all of my, uh, nerd rage?

In the end, Ranger invite is a Ranger invite. Maybe I'll take them up on it eventually.

…

The bus pass is a godsend; I don't quite feel like walking across a region that's comparable to France. The pass is also good for effectively forever. The bus fare is pretty cheap besides, despite it having to travel cross country.

Must be subsidized.

…

…

{=+=}

I leave the hospital today. Ratty has recovered from his injuries, but the doctor (vet?) suggested that he stay out of battles for the next few days just to be sure. Not complaining.

…

Huh. I just realized that every battle so far (not counting Ratty's scuffles against some wilds) have been me ambushing an unsuspecting target. Wonder how well Ratty would fare in regulated battles.

Anyways, leaving the hospital.

…

Huh.

I hear steps. Rocks. What?

Turn around. Roggenrola.

The same one that shot at me? If this were a story it probably would be.

Ranger man. Yo.

"What's with this guy?" I ask him.

"He wanted to go with you, something about making up for what he had done." The Ranger replied. Rangers can talk to Pokemon? When'd that happen?

"So you were the one doing the shooting?" I ask, squatting down to be less…tall. It nods (or does what I think is nodding) "Well, then thanks for shooting to miss, little guy." He gets a petting. It's a sentient rock, but hey.

"Unfortunately I don't have spare balls, so you'll have to follow around for a while." I stand back up. Roggenrola is...I can't tell. It has a hole for a face.

The Ranger gives me a look.

"They sell balls at the Hospital Gift Store." He said after a moment.

I walked by the store earlier and I apparently didn't notice. "Interesting. Wait here for a minute." The Roggenrola gladly complies. I'll call him Arty.

…

I had gotten a free ball thanks to the Rangers. Neat.

So now I have a team of two Pokemon that I honestly haven't used in gameplay before and thus can only predict what they can do.

What can possibly go wrong.

Anyways, call out Ratty for a moment.

"Ratty, this is Arty." I introduce the two. Ratty's eyeing Arty apprehensively, and Arty is just being a sentient rock with a gun for a face.

I wish I can read emotions but it's kind of hard for him.

"You two will get acquainted later, for now we go shopping, and then leave."

Ratty gives me a quizzical look.

"This city desires money. I don't have that much." I shrug. Ratty looks more confused but drops the subject in favor of examining Arty some more. I am reminded highly of my cat and a yoga ball. Only Ratty's just inquisitive, not terrified.

I have my path more or less planned out for the first move. I'm currently in Lumiose, Pokemon!Paris and all its massive glory (the games scaled it down immensely for obvious reasons). My first stop would be Cyllage via an express bus, ignoring Camphrier because it's just a tourist destination (and Pokemon ranches are a dime a dozen in this real world). There I would do things before heading to Geosenge. No point arriving at a town just to leave it again.

What –would- I do there though? Challenge the gym? Catch more Pokemon? I haven't actually examined why I'm here or what I should be doing to get home.

…

Do I want to go home?

…

Eh. Those thoughts later. Let's get to Cyllage first and then worry about it.

Before that, shopping.

…

Unlike the games the shops are everywhere except inside the Pokemon Centers. Ugh.

Well, the centers sell basic goods (potions, anti-status effect spray medicine, pokeballs) but nothing major.

I have 5 grand and a few hours, let's do this.

…I wonder if PokemonWorld has inflation.

{=+=}

Oh god ow, my feet. My poor, poor nerd feet.

In retrospect using the damned bus pass to go from shop A to shop B would've been a real good investiment of my time. Instead I had to let my instincts take over and walk like an idiot.

Dear lord, ow.

…

The games don't really sell the "how many peoples are actually in a city" thing very well.

There's indeed cafes everywhere and people sitting, doing their people watching thing. I'm getting a few looks because I'm still in my odd formal-but-not-really getup. If I buttoned up this shirt I'd look like an office worker.

There really are Fletchlings everywhere in Lumiose. Nesting in trees mostly. They do walk everywhere, and everyone gives them either ample space or a ride.

Oh, hey. Large stores (like a Pokemon center) have a large piece of empty land in front of them. It's for Flying pokemon landing. Nobody's doing it anywhere else, so I guess they have laws or morals against flying around at random.

That being said there are quite a number of fliers in the Lumiose sky; they stick mainly to rooftops for the sake of not obscuring us ground pounders.

I see a lot of Pidgeots. Must be popular here.

…

Oh wow. Doduos really can fly.

That is…exceedingly odd.

Necks shouldn't work like that.

…

Let's see…

I had 5 grand when I started, and I have…600 now.

I'm now up a backpack, a new pair of boots (which are comfy as hell), two potions, a small pouch of berries (which I'm scared might rot, but eh. Cross that bridge when we get to it), 2 empty Pokeballs (for a grand total of 4) and a Quick ball.

I also bought a cheesy little ribbon for Ratta, but I felt he deserved a reward for his insanely ballsy actions. Even if it is a little tacky. A lot tacky.

But he's happily prancing around with it, so it's all good. Now, where's that bus stop?

Good thing there are maps everywhere in this town.

…

Bus. Bus bus bus!

Express line to Cyllage! Ok, got on. Whew. Let's see…

The entire trip would take an estimate five hours.

…That seems slightly long for a trip across half of France.

"Why does it take five hours?" I ask one of the guys next to me as I sit down.

"We stop a few times." He reply, bored.

That sounds like very not express-line behavior.

"You a new trainer?" The guy to my right asked, looking at my belt. I have two Pokeballs clipped to my belt, Arty and Ratty.

In all fairness I have played the games (and don't follow the Pokemon metagame at all) but…

"Yeah". I reply, taking Ratty and Arty off my belt and securing them into my bag. It has these six little holsters for your active team, it's neat.

Turns out no trainer in their right minds ever go anywhere with just six Pokemon. All trainers have practically everything they can carry with them. PC storage don't exist. Like, at all.

I looked up Bill while I was in the Hospital and all I got out of it was that he was the "Premier Pokemon Enthusiast." Which is about as descriptive as telling a blind person to "go that way".

Bill, however, did invent Long distance Pokemon trading, as well as intercontinental trading. No trading across time though. Just no box storage for all your pokemon.

Bill's retired now, which is one hell of a shocker. I figured the timeline wouldn't line up exactly to a point I would be familiar with, but to be so…different, is certainly surprising.

In any event, all trainers carry most if not all of their Pokemon with them. The ones with large resource pools (like, say, the player in the game) have either their hometown Gym acting as a sponsor and taking any Pokemon transferred home, or have their storage just in their house. Needless to say the Pokemons stashed in an empty house tend to get grumpy real quick, especially if they happen to be the bigger ones.

This, if nothing else, solves my worries about HM slaves and eventually phasing Ratty out as a main combat team member, if only because I plan on keeping him as a Rattata. He can still stand on the sidelines and cheer.

Official gym rules (and by extension, unofficial trainer battle etiquette) state you can only have six Pokemon during a gym challenge or a trainer battle though. Most people follow it and anyone that doesn't is generally frowned upon. Don't follow it in a gym battle and you get an automatically disqualification.

Official battles are still one on one, not that big tangled mess that was the Fucket war.

You also can't just up and leave and heal during a gym battle, but then no money is wagered or earned, so it's not as big of a deal.

Guy next to me has been trying to get my attention again and I completely ignored him in favor of exposition.

"So what do you have?"

"A Rattata and a Roggenrola." I reply. The guy gets a blank stare and ignores me. I swear he's snickering.

Meh. A week ago I would've done the same if someone who just got X or Y proudly exclaimed that was his team.

…

Ok, no, not really. Rattata's actually kind of hard to find, strangely enough.

If they had a Bidoof I would though.

…

…

Wow, the major route is a huge difference from a minor one.

There's people everywhere!

There's wild Pokemon on the (side of the) road!

…There's nobody catching those wild Pokemon!

I poke the guy to my left. "What makes these wilds uncatchable?"

He looks at those Pokemon and look at me. I see a few Audinos. God I want that delicious exp. If only the same system was in place.

"It's polite. Those Pokemon are people friendly and by extension the people leave them alone." He sinks into his seat. "Besides, those Pokemon have zero intent to fight so catching them is a waste of balls."

Makes sense.

I look around the bus one more time. It's a pretty weirdly arranged bus, as far as my expectations go. All the seats are arranged with their back to the windows in a circle, with the middle of the bus empty. Empty, but there's a large-ass carpet there. There's some small kids sitting on said carpet playing with their Pokemon.

The bus has a rule: small Pokemon can come out and play. Larger ones stay in their balls. The jury's out on some of the problematic ones (like, say, a Honedge or a Slugma) but the consensus seems to be "use common sense you asshat."

Makes sense.

I see an Eevee. Oh god.

…Urge to pet Eevee rising.

…It's staring at me with those big brown eyes and oh my god it's adorable. It's smiling. Oh god

…Urge to pet Eevee uncontrollable.

It just waved a paw at me. Shield of Self Control failing.

…Remember to avoid the tuft of hairs on its head.

The petting of Eevee has commenced. It's fur is so soft.

It's like petting a cat, without the distain for humanity.

I'm pretty sure those big brown eyes can solve all the problems of the world forever.

…

Scratch the back of the ear.

Eevee gives a playful squeal and rolls around. I'm pretty sure at this point I would need to wrestle a bear at the edge of a cliff on fire while BBQing to counteract the sheer adorability of this little thing with manliness.

Or have the Old Spice Man do it. Me, the bear, and the cliff are all on fire. And yet the meat would be roasted to a delicious perfection.

Originally I wanted to go to Cyllage and pick up an Eevee as an aside, if only to see how Sylveon evolution would work without Pokemon-Amie.

It is now my goal in life to find and catch all the Eevees ever.

I don't know who's Eevee this is but I'm petting it until we get to Cyllage.

Pity I don't feel comfortable enough to pick it up, but Eevees can give high fives, right?

…

Yes, yes they can.

Cuteness Proximity has now reached Critical Mass.

I'm not sure the Old Spice Man would be manly enough to counteract this anymore.


	5. Chapter 4 - From Bus

**Chapter Three: On the Outskirts of Cyllage City**

{ === + === }

A sleeping Eevee is the best Eevee.

Let's see…clock, clock. It's been about three hours or so. Besides the small towns that we more or less zipped by the roads are pretty clear of travelers. Occasionally this express car stops to pick more people up.

I don't know if this is how France's express buses work but it's pretty not-express.

Ah, yes. The Eevee on my lap. Apparently it belongs to the bus driver, and takes her time (I was told it was a her) being adorable and alleviating the tedium that is a five hour long bus ride without smartphones.

It's a small bundle of soft, warm fur on my lap.

…

Isn't that Connecting Cave over there? Or path or whatever?

Headphones, headphones… this bus offers a guided tour service too, insane. Let's see... Information, Connecting Cave, there we go.

"Connecting Cave used to be a major route of travel between Cyllage and Route 7" as opposed to some major town. The lady sounds like the Skype call lady. "And acted as a semi-major path of travel for aspiring trainers due to the Axews that nested in the cave. However, as of last year the path has been closed due to overly aggressive Pokemon attacking trainers with little to no provocation."

Little to no Provocation. Sounds pretty normal, as far as the games are concerned. Then again I went through the Cave in Y without encountering anything on more than one occasion, so I guess it would be different. Let's see here, Connecting Cave Incidents.

"On March of Last Year" There's no date? "Several incidents of Zubats attacking trainers were documented. Of the trainers that were attacked four succumbed to their injuries and died." Whoa, whoa, what?

"During the following month, multiple records of hyperactive Zubats attacking in unusual numbers were documented, and the Cave was closed to foot traffic by the Kalos branch of Pokemon Rangers." Eevee stirred a little. Guess I woke her up.

"On the following month the Rangers organized an investigation to investigate the cause of the unnatural number of Zubats within the cave; however, their attempts to enter the deeper sections of the cave were unsuccessful, and as a result Connecting Cave is locked down by the Mayor of Cyllage until further notice."

And it's been…some number of months since then. Zubats, of all things, are causing lethal damage.

Hrm.

…

Oh jeez, I feel asleep.

This is Cyllage station. The Bus Driver's Eevee (lest I forget it's not my Eevee) has her paw on my mouth. Peh. Get off… Man those eyes are intoxicating in their cuteness.

It's honestly way too happy about having woken me up. Sheesh.

Get off the bus. Cyllage's skyline is comparatively less tall-building-y than Lumiose, how nice. Is there a map around?

A ha. That giant garish board with MAP in giant, glowy letters.

Search function, eye doctor. I need a good pair of glasses or I'm really screwed. There's one…really close to here. Walking time.

[Some time later: Afternoon]

Ugh. Light sensitivity much. The glasses were made on the spot (which was nice) and cost me 300.

So now I have pocket change and a pair of really good glasses that gives me rudimentary readouts if I connect it with a Trainer's Dex.

Apparently the ones most people use are Trainer Dexes, which is pretty much a Wikipedia app concerning all local Pokemon and need to be updated at every PokeCenter for a small fee. Stupid capitalism.

That said the default Dex is free issue at a Pokemon Center. Need to get one at the next opportunity.

…

What the…there's a giant TV mounted outside. Wonder what's going on; it's drawing a pretty large crowd.

Oh my, is this coverage of a gym battle?

…

Huh. It's a battle between a child and Grant. Grant looks older than his game appearance, but not by a whole lot…guess it's really been a few years. Op, wait, announcer's talking.

"And now, the battle between the only qualifier of the elimination course and the holder of two badges: Youngsteeeeerr JOEY!"

…There are no words. If he has a Rattata I swear to god there will be blood shed for the poor meme placement.

"-AND the proud leader of Cyllage Gym, GRANT!"

Cheering, cheering.

"How hard is the qualifier course?" Somebody in front of me asks. Sounds like a girl.

"Grant's course is pretty hard; the clear rate is about two percent." Wow. So Joey was one of fifty? Impressive.

Let's see, the match field is a large patch of dirt on top of that rock climbing rock that probably conforms to zero building codes. I was expecting a more…conventional, battlefield but I guess this would work too.

"BEGIN!"

"Go! Skarmory!" Wait

"Go! Solrock!" What?

Ok, wow, what?

Joey's got the Skarmory, Grant's got the Solrock.

"Fly! Skarmory!" Seriously?

"Solrock, Fire Spin!"

The Skarmory flew up into the air, as much as the ceiling allows, while the Solrock spun a wave of fire around itself.

Interesting. Joey and Grant both are standing in a long strip of ground outlined on…the ground. Guess that's the zone they're allowed to move in, since Joey's moving left and right to get a better look at the Solrock. Grant is moving too, but at a much more relaxed pace.

"Skarmory! Feint attack!" At least it's pronounced "feint" instead of "faint".

That…kind of ruins the purpose of a feint, to be honest.

Skarmory's flying around the Solrock, looking for a way in (probably) and avoiding the giant winding tornado of fire and burning and pain.

"So what does that Solrock have?" I mutter before I catch myself. The battle's gone into a standstill, with neither side willing to make an attack.

"It learns flamethrower, doesn't it?" Again. I used Solrock once in Ruby before I replaced it with Ninetails. Didn't like it too much.

"Solrock! Bring it down!" Solrock goes in with…a tackle, of all things. OH GOD ITS FAST

"How is that Solrock that fast?!" Goddammit mouth!

"Rock Polish." One of the trainers next to me says. So it was speeding itself up while behind that fire spin? Yeesh.

"Joey missed his chance there." Oh good, commentary. "Fire Spin is inherently not a very powerful move; if the Skarmory dove in and attacked it would've dealt a lot of damage with minimal burns, at worst."

And now that Skarmory has been brought down to the field again via giant spikey rock to its face.

"Skarmory!" Joey hesitated for a second. "Use Fury-" Attack, had he finished his sentence. Grant got his orders in faster though.

"Solrock, FS Tackle!" Solrock coated itself in a fire spin again and tackled the Skarmory head on. That's…painful to watch. Also Fire Tackle is not a legitimate move.

"Once more!" Another Tackle, and Skarmory's down.

Joey doesn't look too happy. Poor guy.

"Go! Skiddo!" Skiddo was that little yeah, yeah it is. The little grass goat thing. Dear god is this matchup problematic.

Grant sneered. Or, the camera panned to his face I could see the sneer, but for now it's more heard than seen.

"Once More!" Fire Spin plus Tackle plus two, three tier speed bonus Solrock PLUS physics equals one really dead Skiddo. Well, fainted, since dying here's actually a thing.

Yeeah. That Skiddo's not getting up after that.

Christ is this one sided.

Joey's down to his last Pokemon, or so the display says.

"Quagsire!" Quagsire comes out…

And immediately catches a Spinning Burning Fast Solrock to the chest. It doesn't seem to care.

Grant looks annoyed; I guess that Solrock moved without his commands.

"Quagsire! Mud Bomb!" Point blank bomb to Solrock face.

…

Wow, that Solrock actually can't get away from the Quagsire?

It's taking multiple bombs to the face. Trying to float away, while the Quagsire is still firmly planted on its face. A few more shots go down and—

"Enough. Return!" Solrock was pulled out, and Quagsire…still has that smile on its face.

It faceplanted on the ground from about ten feet up and got up, still with that silly smile on its face. Quagsires are laidback like whoa.

"Amaura! Go!" Out comes the Ice Dinosaur thing.

"Quagsire! Hyper Beam!" OH WHAT THE FUCK

Even without sound effects you can hear the power gathered by that Quagsire, holy shit. Somebody's having a bad day.

"Ama! Rock Walls!" Yeesh, more unusual moves. The Amaura used, what, Rock Tomb? And threw rocks between it and Quagsire.

The Quagsire…released its beam. Ow my eyes.

…

…

Ha..hahaha. What.

Amaura shot a rock with ice to make it look like itself, and hiding behind the rock tomb rocks all you could see was a small hint of cyan. The Quagsire blasted that rock to little pieces, and was promptly frozen by an Ice Beam from its side.

No orders, no prompting, that little thing is smart.

We're also looking at this from a different angle. Did Quagsire fry the last camera?

"Youngster Joey is out of usable Pokemon! A round of applause to the spirited challenger!"

Applause all around, some from this group in front of me. Joey looks mad as hell but showed his appreciation for the applause via a bow.

Still, if this is what a gym battle is supposed to be like I guess I have a lot of preparation to do.

First things first, catch an Eevee.

{ = + = }

[North of Cyllage: Afternoon]

So, uh, where do I start?

The games represented this area as, like, a path with a large patch of flowers.

Pretty sure I don't see giant patches of flowers anywhere. Wishful thinking, I guess.

I wanted to see Eevees frolicking through flowers taller than they are.

…

According to the guide pamphlet (which are free to download from every map. Nifty) Eevees are found deeper in. As in away from the main road.

To be expected, I suppose.

Welp, nothing for it but go in deeper.

…

I uh, should've gotten a compass, now that I think about it.

Meh, backtrack later. I'm seeing a lot of rustling but very little actual Pokemons. This is irritating. Raty's still out of commission via doctor's orders and Arty's…a walking gun platform. Not ideal for bushwacking.

Also, this tall grass is really tall. It's easily going past my waist. I'm 180 centimeters and can't do conversion at the drop of a hat. Definitely not six feet tall though.

...

Ow! Goddammit. Appreciation for nature waning.

Best part about insanely tall grass: I can't tell if I got cut on something or if something actively bit me.

Ugh.

Fuck nature.

…

Let's see…

I can't tell if it's actually gotten dark or not.

I'm out of the tall grass and near some trees.

I'm also lost.

Once more with feeling: Fuck Nature.

Cherry on top? I hear movement around me and I'm pretty sure it's wild Pokemon. The fact that it sounds like a very non-singular amount of Pokemon does nothing to make me feel better.

Add in the fact Zubats can now cause fatal injuries and I'm more than a little scared.

…

I don't do macho. Nerds don't do macho.

Backtracking.

…

Shit.

"Arty!"

Arty the Roggenrola, go!

And be immediately bowled over by an Electrike!

What the fuck man you're supposed to be Ground and…oh. Oh…this is why Pokemon Partners are mandatory. I never actually noticed yesterday.

The instant Arty came out the Electrike forgot I existed.

…

Funny thing about this watered down dex. It actually gives me a floating heads up display. I feel so futuristic.

Doesn't show me much though, just the general health status of the two Pokemons in front of me. One solid bar that changes color, instead of the normal display in games.

So instead of helpful numbers all I get is a green light for Arty. Which I'm assuming means it's still good to go.

Speaking of Arty he's currently being pushed down over and over again. Every time he finds his footing the Electrike pushes him down. Judging by the very not informative display I assume he's not really loosing health, just patience and acquiring a deep-seated hatred for all things faster than he is.

…Uh, shit, I actually don't know any of Roggenrola's moves, and this piddly HUD doesn't really tell me.

Slightly problematic.

Uhm…

…I feel slightly bad leaving Arty to fend for himself but it's not like that Electrike is actually doing damage, c'mon…

Oh right!

"Arty! Rock Blast!"

Arty gives off this…what, grunt?—It doesn't even have a throat—and tries to stand back up again, only to be pushed down by the Electrike.

I guess he meant "GODDAMMIT BRO I'M HAVING SOME PROBLEMS HERE" or something to that effect.

Uhm, so now what do I do. Real life logic has to work, so…

"Dig your feet into the ground, Arty! Brace!"

Arty kicks his little stubby rock feet into the ground and gets upright.

_How the hell did he pull that off without arms?_ Shush logic.

The Electrike slammed into it again. Was it using quick attack this entire time? Huh.

It slammed into Arty and Arty rocked, but didn't roll. _He he he. _The Electrike on the other hand looks like its having a mildly unpleasant migraine.

…

On one hand I'm looking for an Eevee.

On the other I don't have the liberty to be so picky with what pokemon I can catch.

_Manelectric also mega-Evolves if you can get the goods for it._ Logic so helpfully adds in. Fine.

"Arty! Rock Blast!" But only if it survives first.

Arty digs in a little more, facehole pointed at the now dazed Electric, and—

POP!

-DONK-

That is the most (POP!) underwhelming sound effect (DONK) I have ever head for a (POP) rock hitting a small (DONK) animal on the head (POP).

DONK.

Yeah that's enough.

"Ceasefire!"

Ooh, Arty points himself upward and misses the last shot. That Electrike looks bruised and…I'm not gonna lie, having to weaken a Pokemon then catch it makes me feel like a total douchebag. Imagine having to kick your cat a few times before giving it a treat. Ugh.

Gonna have to bite the bullet. There's no resets here.

Pokeball! Go!

Like hell am I gonna say that out loud.

…

-sigh-

Second Pokeball! Go!

Having good eyesight didn't automatically make me an accurate thrower. Arty just kinda…well he doesn't have eyes, so he just kinda oriented his face at me like "really, dude, really?"

I inspire everything but confidence.

…

Second Pokeball hit, wiggle, catch.

Get the first ball back. Good thing it didn't go too far.

Electrike get!

Continue backtracking.

…

…

I really need a machete or something, this grass is stupid.

…

…

Road! Sweet, sweet pavement.

First order of business. Heal the new Electrike and give it a name.

Second order of business, find out exactly what this HUD can do and get a manual.

…

Actually, screw that, I'm just going to find a hotel after healing Electrike.

After wandering through thick grass I'm actually cut in multiple places, what the hell. I look like I fell off a tree into a hedge of roses.

…

I'm going to need something durable too, aren't I. god dammit.

_Either that or stay out of the tall grass._

Ugh.

…

Bus line, bus line…

Hotel, hotel…

Ohey it's free lodging for travelling trainers. How convenient.

…Oh, it's attached to the Pokemon Center. That makes a lot of sense.

…

Healing, healing…Why does this healing take less time? Ask.

…

Apparently this is just "restoring a Pokemon's vitality." So if Electrike took some broken bones the healing process would've taken longer. Well I guess that E10 rating for the games had some meaning behind it. Pokemon never fought to kill, just bruise with blunt object until you pass out.

…

Free Pet food of the bland variety! Let's see here. God I'm tired.

Ratty's first out. He seems to be doing good. Little guy's itching for a fight, still un-Run Away like.

This feels like Moxie. Can Rattata have Moxie? Or Defiant? I don't think so. So is he just Brave?

_Maybe he's Adamant._ Wouldn't that be nice.

Arty's second out. He doesn't eat and just settles to the corner and gets ready to sleep. I need to look up exactly what Roggenrolas eat, because feeding it through the face hole where giant rocks come out feels like adding gas to a tank via the gun.

Electrike's the third out and…she? Dex says it's a she. She doesn't look overly concerned with the whole imprisonment thing.

Y'know I've never played Black or White beyond the third gym but L's stance on Pokemon Freedom or whatnot is starting to make sense.

…

Team Whats-their-face doesn't make sense though. They're just standard sub-competently evil. Just L.

…

Electrike needs a name. Hmm…

…

Screw it. Too tired to think. I'll worry about this in the morning. Set the balls on the counter so I'm between them and the door. Lock door. If they want to get back into their balls they can just touch the button.

Electrike seems fine with not going back. Ratty nested by Arty; guess they have some sort of bro bonding thing going on (or Ratty just likes guns?) Ratty's like that one rat from that one movie. I forget the name. Only less cooking and more bloodthirsty.

Ah, god, ow. Electrikes actually sting a little.

…

Normally the instant I hit the bed my brain clears up and I begin thinking, no exception today.

_So there was no Eevee today. _Maybe they're deeper in?

_How much do we know about Eevees? _That they're adorable and seem to fall somewhere between a cat and a dog.

_This is going to go poorly._ Gee, really?

…

_What'll you do when you can't get home?_ Eh, probably become a breeder or something. I don't want to think about this right now. Stop asking yourself this question.

It's only been two days goddammit, save it for later and sleep.

.

.

.

.

.

{=== + ===}

My first schedule slip! I feel so accomplished~

_You never had a schedule though._

_..._

Don't ruin the moment logic.


	6. Chapter 5 - From Cyllage Pokemon Center

**Chapter Four: Pokemon Center and You**

{ === + === }

Trying to get a good night's sleep in the Pokemon world is hard.

Especially when you remember that the Pokemon world does in fact have ghosts, and some of them (cough Gastly cough) can phase through walls and steal your soul n'shit.

Ugh. This is going to suck even worse now isn't it.

…

First stop, Pokemon center. Sun's…pretty high up. Is it ten? It's probably ten.

It's usually ten.

Get Ratty checked out, think of a name for the Electrike. Tasks of the day.

…

Hello Pokemon center, you look more crowded than normal.

Hello Nurse Kalos Joy. You look like you haven't slept last night.

"Good morning." Be polite. If she's as tired as looks she's probably about to snap.

"Good morning; if it's not urgent I request you wait for a bit." Wow she sounds exhausted. Do Pokemon Centers not have staff shifts?

"Sounds like you've had a rough night." Take a moment and look around.

…

What's going on?

"Did something happen?" I'm genuinely worried now.

…

…

…

Well, well now.

Apparently last night a swarm of Zubats flew into Cyllage and attacked people at random, bursting into a few shops through open windows. One particular bar was hit hard and there's almost a hundred casualties.

"The Zubats' highly aggressive behavior has been a subject of much debate among Cyllage's inhabitants" the newswoman said; I left Nurse Kalos Joy alone because she had work to do. "However, the recent attack in Cyllage has left many alarmed at the sudden change in Zubat night patterns, and concerned citizens are crying out for action—"

…

Hmm…well, Ratty's out of commission, doctor's orders. Arty normally would be unfazed against Zubats, but supersonic plus it's not 1 on 1 anymore means he's probably going to be overwhelmed to death. Electrike…if memory serves don't learn electric attacks until a little later. I haven't checked yet.

Probably should do so now.

…

…

Ratty the Rattata: Quick Attack, Tail Whip, Bite, Taunt. _How did it learn Taunt? I don't remember that being learned on level up. _We used a Rattata ONCE in FireRed. That's like three generations ago, Logic. Keep up. Dex says it learns Bite (which means it knows how to use those fangs EFFECTIVELY, as opposed to not knowing how to chew food) as a hallmark of its progress to a Raticate, so I guess Ratty's level 10something.

Arty the Roggenrola: Rock Blast, Harden, Tackle, Block. I know this guy evolves by trading. I have no idea how that'd work in reality or what justification trade has outside of game logic.

Electrike Elly? Sounds odd: Tackle, Thunderwave, Leer. Welp, she's not going to be useful for a while.

…

So what happened to the impromptu moves?

…

I guess dodging isn't really a move, and digging in isn't really a move, either.

So that means a move is a specific attack, so a PP costing Bite is legitimately good against physics n'shit, while an off the cuff bite is a physical attack of dubious use.

This is going to get really confusing really fast.

…

Look around some more. There's a lot of trainers and non-trainers here. What measure is a non-trainer?

The obvious trainer types are nursing their Pokemon where possible; first aid, arm splints, the works, accompanied by words of encouragement and the occasional berry treat. The Zubats bit hard enough to break bones? Yikes.

The non-trainer types are cradling their one Pokemon and generally crying at it in some way, fashion, or form.

...

Well, I'm not going anywhere.

"Excuse me." I get Nurse Kalos Joy again. I can see her annoyance level peaking before she got a grip on it again. "Is there anything I can do to help out?"

She looks genuinely surprised at that. Then she smiles.

…

[One Week Later]

…

I'm still not sure if that was a kind smile or a vicious one.

I volunteered and got roped into using the quick-and-easy Pokemon healing machine. It works by pumping the pokemon in question full of energy, and as a result it needs to be watched constantly so it doesn't overdo it.

Who designs a machine without taking care of that little issue?!

Especially in a world where accidentally pumping an Electrode full of energy could cause it to explode. I mean, come on.

Anyways, having me around meant the center could handle double load and worked through the trainers and non-trainers alike in no time flat.

…

Cyllage, as it turned out, was a big city. Large enough to have a gym, large enough to have a few hundred thousand people living in it, if not more. If even one percent of that population requires aid every hour that means a Pokemon center handles at least a few thousand people per hour.

Fortunately Cyllage has multiple Centers, so the load is spread out across the City, but it's still a pretty tall order.

The Centers themselves do have additional staff, but only in the form of additional Nurse Joys (around three to four per center; they rotate seamlessly when a Joy goes out of sight for a minute or so it's frankly terrifying) and no spare equipment. So if anything goes down it's down for a while, unless it's software based which is can then be fixed by an on-site Porygon. That's pretty nifty, actually.

Add in the fact that not everyone in the center is polite, and not every Pokemon can handle being quiet (or being put back into their balls before treatment time), and we have a clusterfuck of a field hospital.

…

Yesterday this old lady yelled at Nurse Kalos Joy for the better part an hour about how her service should be more prompt. Kalos Joy, in her glorious, glorious calm, listened to the ranting for the first thirty seconds then promptly left the old lady alone to help more people. To the old lady's credit her ranting was the only thing that could be heard for that hour.

She got angrier and angrier when she finally realized (about 45 minutes into her speech) that she was actually being ignored she actually went over her anger limit and hit speechlessness.

Unfortunately while she was ranting she resisted every attempt to have her badly injured Pikachu taken away from her for treatment, spouting off about "Substandard service" and "You should be ashamed of yourself" and so on, that after the hour was up and finally calmed down her Pikachu stopped breathing.

Emergency resuscitation kept the Pikachu alive until it was rushed to a proper hospital, fortunately. The old lady's trainer license was revoked and she's facing charges for criminal negligence. Yikes.

…

Where was I, oh yes. Volunteer service. While in service I got to pick up tips and advice from the trainers that stepped in, as well as lots of advice on how to use the watered down Pokedex. An actual, old-style Pokedex hasn't been seen in a few years, so as language goes "dex" simply refers to the watered down version.

I also learned how to pitch a goddamn ball properly. For obvious reasons this is the most helpful of things I learned.

…

Interestingly enough, Zubat attacks were constant during the week. That terrified a lot of people. The local police stepped up patrols during the night to deal with the flock of Zubats, but judging by the pictures there were literally thousands of Zubats swarming into town every night. It's a bit of a miracle only a few hundred people got hurt every time, really.

The news reports have shifted from "Why are Zubats suddenly so aggressive outside their houses" to "Oh god Cyllage is going to die".

There were also a few "Let's find out what's going on inside Connecting Cave"s but they were usually drowned out by "Oh god Connecting Cave will kill us all"s.

…

In any case, I now have a place to go next.

…

…

…

Fuck why is the Connecting Cave so high up.

Since it was closed some time back the Bike Racing Ring (god I can't believe that's actually a thing) was also remodeled to go nowhere near the Zubat trap. As a result the area's now worn down and stupidly hard to get around in.

Why did I decide this was a good idea.

_Because Crobats are actually quite good._

Because Axews are in the cave, Logic, because Axews are in the cave.

_What if Haxorus are the reason Zubats are going nuts?_

I stop climbing, halfway up a relatively steep slope in favor of getting around the barriers and now reinforced police force. God I hope they don't have fliers. This was not well thought out.

"That would explain why the Zubats are rowdier." I lower myself down the slope. No point slipping because I was too caught up in arguing with myself.

_But not why they left the cave._

"What if the Haxorus are screwing with their ecosystem? What do Zubats eat in that Cave?"

_Possible, Unknown. But a cave known for its Zubats and Axew in game would probably have their evolved forms in real life. Otherwise how would babies be made?_

"How are Pokemon babies made anyways?" I am now getting very, very off topic.

_Suddenly Eggs. Let's focus._

"If I'm going to hit a cave of voracious Zubats, I guess." Get moving again.

…

Welp. The entrance to Connecting Cave.

Goddammit I'm not looking forward to this.

Deep breaths.

…

Let's do this.

[=Intermission=]

It's actually not dark in here. Surprising.

Let's see…

There's leftover lights in the cave. They're still on.

…The power wasn't cut? Really?

Can I see well enough to go on without using this flashlight.

…

No I can't, shit. Odds are Zubats can hear you anyways but walk quietly just for safety's sake.

…

I can't see the Zubats. Huh…that's odd. Really odd. Shouldn't there be more Zubats or something?

This is easily the dumbest thing I've ever had the impulse to do.

_You can still turn back you know. The entrance is like ten feet behind you._

…Onwards.

…

Darker now. Just the light from the ceiling lights. Walk slowly, let your eyes adjust to the darkness, pray the Zubats don't suddenly appear and eat your face.

Whatever was powering me before is failing now. Urge to dash back out is overwhelming.

Onwards.

…

Staircase going down.

_Point of no return, seriously. Get out before you die here._

Fuck you Logic.

Let's do this.

WINGS OH GOD GET DOWN

Yikes. That was a flock of Zubats overhead.

…

Ugh. This is really bad for my nerves.

_You know, all terror considered it's quite odd the Zubats are behaving so calmly._

_Yeah. I don't think we're the first ones who've considered sneaking in. What's going on here?_

…

Every time I take a step and kick up a small pebble it sounds like dynamite. What was I _thinking?!_

_You weren't._

…

Is it just me or does it seem brighter in here?

_I don't think adapting to darkness makes everything sharper. These lights definitely feel brighter._

_…_

_So is someone agitating the Zubats?_

_Or is something being agitated to agitate the Zubats?_

…

Down another flight of stairs. Zubats are flying almost constantly overhead, and yet none of them are attacking. This is very, very odd.

…

It's suddenly a lot brighter ahead. Something serious is going on.

_Try to sneak up on them._

Yeah, yeah…

...

Rounding the corner in five…

Three…

One.

…

Hello gun to my face, how are you today?

…Ranger dude. Different Ranger dude from Lumiose. Care to take your gun from my face?

"Who are you and how did you get here?" Low growl. He's not alone; three other rangers, armed, but no Pokemon in sight.

"Axel Arma, snuck in." Keep your hands in plain sight. The Ranger lowered his gun.

"That trainer from Lumiose, eh?" The Lady Ranger says. I hear laughter in her voice. Not sure if that's good. Probably bad.

"Just what we need. Civilians." The one with the gun grumble and turn. Then I see an entrance, probably deeper into the Caves. Differences in gameplay vs reality aside these caves are really friggin' huge.

"I'm amazed the Zubats aren't trying to kill us." I pipe in, not sneaking anymore because frankly if the Zubats felt the need to eat we're screwed now. Oddly the light isn't really hurting my night vision.

Cave vision.

"For whatever reason these Zubats are extremely sensitive to Repels; they attack on sight if they so much as catch a whiff of it." The ranger near the wall said. Beefy dude. Heavy? Heavy.

Sensitive to Repels?

"And nobody found out before now?" I'm a little incredulous, forgive me.

Wow, dirty look from fearless leader. "Of course they did. This is the first time the Zubats didn't attack at all."

I guess they were ready to make the breach and enter before I showed up? Carry on then.

…

And they do. It's like I vanished from their eyes. Amazing.

…

They each have a light.

And they're moving extremely quietly. And extremely quickly.

I'm not in the mood to run after them and break their…really bad stealth, come to think of it. That light is really bright still.

…

There hasn't been a single Zubat in this stretch of the cave. What the hell? No fluttering of wings, no screeching, nothing! Just stones and stones and more stones.

What's over there? More stones! Imagine that!

_Dude, you're losing it a little._

Yeah, yeah…

…

I've stopped trying to sneak. There's nothing to sneak against. This part of the cave is entirely devoid of all Pokemon life. I can hear the Rangers up ahead and it sounds like it's worrying them too.

No area should be utterly _dead_ like this. This feels unnatural.

…

Also I should've gotten some better boots. This is doing a number on my feet.

…

Rangers have stopped.

What's up ahead?

They seem stunned.

…

…

…

Dead Zubats.

Tons of dead Zubats.

How are there this many dead Zubats.

…

The floor is utterly carpeted with dead Zubats.

I think they're dead; they're not moving.

Dear god if we have Undead Zubats I'm just calling it quits right here.

"Well, this is unexpected." Heavy helpfully added. He seems pretty disturbed by this.

Hell, everyone's pretty disturbed by this.

"Masks on." Wait what?

Rangers have masks? They have masks. I'm assuming their anti-gas masks.

Thanks for making me feel welcome here nature.

Welp, time to risk it.

"Arty." I call Arty out as quietly as possible. Good thing the Pokeball itself doesn't actually make a sound. "Take a look at the Zubats; can you check for poison?" Arty nods. "Cool, go." I watch it waddle off.

_You know if it was gas you're probably suffering from it right now._

Yeah, I know. Shit.

…

The Rangers have moved on ahead, after giving my Arty a look of "Is this kid serious?"

…

Arty's back. I feel really stupid but he can tell poison (somehow) and I can't.

"Arty, left if they're out due to poison, right if they died some other way." I hold my two hands down. He taps my right hand with his crown thing.

Hmm, figured as much.

"Ratty, El." I'll give 'em badasser names in the future. Ratty and Electrike comes out.

Ratty first. "Due to circumstances I'll let you fight. But you have to follow my orders at all times." He looks sulky, but shrugs and nods. Pokemon are smart. My cat would've just stared at me and then rolled around.

Electrike next. "Can you fire Thunder waves everywhere?" She looks confused. "Nevermind. For now stay close to Arty if something happens." She nods.

Arty last. "Stay close to me, keep sharp and get ready to dig in on my orders." Arty nods. This is now serious business.

We march!

.

.

.

{ === + === }

Author Notes

Woo unnecessary cliffhanger!

_Next week you'll have a schedule slip plus a cliffhanger._

No promises.

_Why was this one so short, anyways?_

Because I needed to set up. :(


	7. Chapter 6 - From Connecting Cave

**Chapter Five: Connecting Zubats**

{ === + === }

There was much marching.

Ok it's more like picking our way carefully across the carpet of Zubat carcasses the best we can. I'm kind of glad there's no fly Pokemon or this would be a few factors worse.

Arty's having the worst of it, since he has to physically roll to keep up and that means he can't pick his footing, just have to grind over the dead bats n'shit.

Poor Arty.

…

Rangers are up ahead. Their pokemon are out.

I can't see 'em very well, just silhouettes.

Moving on still.

Sheesh, dead Zubats everywhere.

Never mind gameplay versus reality segregation this is just odd.

How could so many Zubats die right after a flock of thousands attacking for weeks on end?

_Maybe they were starved in here._

By what, rampaging Haxorus?

_It's possible, you know._

God dammit. Nevermind not having Ice or Fairy nobody has the damage output to match a Haxorus and come out on top.

…double shit. This is reality. One hit from that hypothetical Haxorus could actually be fatal.

…

Mind, I don't need to see the images of Ratty being cut in half.

…

Rangers have stopped entirely. Motion to my team, let's catch up.

…

"You really are a beginner." Hero remarked when I caught up. They never gave me their names and honestly I don't really care right now.

"Can't be helped. Any ideas on how those guys died?" I didn't need to clarify who I was talking about.

"It's a little early to tell, but I think they were starved to death." The Female Ranger said. Lady? Works for me. Reminds me of a Let's Play though.

"That would explain why they attacked Cyllage so desperately." The last ranger said. Tall, glasses, Sniper. Lacks the accent, but I never played TF2 anyways. "The news didn't mention this, but we made a bait location a few nights ago; the Zubats attacked very haphazardly, and always prioritized the food when it was available."

"Quiet." Hero commanded. Instantly everyone's tense and pointing their light toward the ground. What do they have out, anyways?

A pair of Sandslash and a pair of Poliwhirls.

We seem to have a crippling weakness to grass, which Connecting Cave doesn't, shouldn't, have.

Sounds fine by me.

"El, get to that bend. Shoot a spark if you see anything moving. Two if it's larger than you are." El the Electrike nodded and sprinted on ahead, taking cover behind some rocks.

…

Ooh, a shower of sparks.

El's running back at me faster than she left.

This is gonna suck isn't it.

"Heads up, large incoming." I say loud enough for the rangers to hear. They saw the sparks and heard my command, so I don't think that was necessary.

…

Yeeep. Large incoming.

It's a Haxorus and a Crobat.

I would be more worried but that Crobat was just punched into the wall by the Haxorus. It doesn't seem happy.

"That's a lot bigger than normal. Attack!" Hero dove to the side, his Sandslash dashing forward, claws out.

Wait what are you doing Poliwhirls can learn Ice stuff

…please tell me your Poliwhirls have Ice stuff.

Assume they don't. Fuck.

OH GOD THAT THING IS LOUD.

Arg. My ears.

Dammit, eyes on the target!

The Sandslash reached King Haxy and struck deep into its stomach. Haxy responded by batting the Sandslash away with a punch.

Hero's Slash hit the opposite wall. It's out of this round. Shit.

Double shit, that roar stunned the other Sandslash. The Poliwhirls are fine but they look like they're waiting for orders. Can't blame 'em. Who knows what Ice'll do to that thing.

The Rangers are backing up really, really fast; I don't think they can hear since they're communicating with just hand signals. Unfortunately their Pokemon aren't turning around so they can't give orders like that.

I can't hear myself speak. Shit.

Haxy's looking down at us. I'm not sure how big they're supposed to be but I'm pretty sure this is oversized. How does it fit in this tunnel?!

It's taking a step.

It has to crouch down a little to keep itself in the tunnel.

Talk about a mixed blessing. It's top-heavy so it can't charge at us, but the smaller body means its claws are guarding better.

Once more with feeling!

FUCK!

…

Ok, ears are working again. Tap Ratty on shoulder.

Ratty looks at me. He seems a bit dazed.

Dammit mind, not helping.

"Ratty, get behind that thing and see if you can climb up on it. Don't actually try it right now." Ratty nods and takes off. I seriously hope I didn't just doom him.

Oh god I hope I didn't doom him.

"Arty, El, pull back!" I yell. Haxy takes that as a cue to look at me. Shit. Backpedal fast, don't drag your feet or they'll get caught!

CLAW!

…

Oh god I felt that wind. That claw was nowhere close. Off balance. Step back more. Get balance back. You can't fight it but keep your agility. C'mon "Axel", get with the program.

…

The other Sandslash and the two Poliwhirls had the good sense to back the hell off and rejoin their trainers. Ratty's still hidden, hopefully-

"Poliwhirl! Ice Beam!" OH THANK GOD

Two Ice beams come out of the Poliwhirls' hand and hit the Haxorus straight in the face. It stops and roars again. Haxorus aren't supposed to be this beefy.

More ice beams hit it, and it responds by kicking SHIT DOWN

...

I heard some hits. Arty took a hit but he's fine. El was behind him (girl's smart). Ow. Grazing hit on shoulder. The Rangers seem fine. A Poliwhirl took a rock straight to the swirly. It's not getting back up.

That attack stat, I swear.

FOCUS

Get up. Ugh. Dizzy. Get behind some cover. How the hell do I fight this thing?

_It has limited mobility. Rob it of all mobility and see what happens._

Easier said than done.

"Arty! Rock blast on its legs! El! Thunder wave! Aim for the arms!" I don't know if Thunder wave should be targeted but goddammit it's a good choice right now.

_You only say that because you thought of it._

…Ok, yeah. But still.

...

Arty fire hit about three of every five shots; it's annoying Haxy but not really doing much beyond that. El's Thunder Waves are annoying it more, but since the arms aren't coming down for another hit it's hard to tell if they got slowed at all.

"Once more!" I yell.

The rangers take this cue. "Poliwhirl! Ice beam on head!" "Sandslash! Cut its speed!"

Poliwhirls shoot once more at the Haxorus's head with their anti-dragon beams, and the Sandslash charges forward, cutting deep into the Haxorus's right leg.

"Arty! Aim for his left leg! El! Thunder Waves, fire at will!" I feel them adrenalines!

Arty fires repeated toward Haxorus's left leg, even going so far as rolling up closer to get a better shot. El, too; jumping straight out of cover, much closer than I feel would be safe for it, and Thunder Waving like. Well, something that Thunder Waves.

Funny how when I was little I had zero respect for that move.

…

Haxy's fighting back. Not well, per se, but it's doing it. The claws are coming down every so often and forcing the Sandslash back. They're a lot slower now, so that's good.

…

Hrm. Let's finish this.

"Ratty! End it!"

I can't really hear anything over the din that is Haxorus roaring and the Ice Beams and the rocks and everything in between.

"El! Last shot on its head!" El the Electrike roars (or whatever it's called, growls?) and fires one last bolt at the Hax's head.

The bolt misses but the Haxorus was forced to stop moving its head.

Then it stops roaring.

…

Did he do it?

Everyone's quieted down when the roaring ended.

"Poliwhirls, a finisher would be nice." I mutter. I believe in a lot of things but physics dictate Ratty's fangs probably wouldn't break through Haxy's armor thing.

Wait.

Dex time. PP checker.

…

Ratty's last move: Taunt.

Taunt. Taunt? Taunt?!

So the little rat climbed up on the Haxorus's shoulders and made yo mama jokes to it? What?

_Honestly Ratty had a 25% chance of randomly_

Yeah I got it Logic, shush.

…

They're trying to do…not off the Haxorus.

Lady Ranger's getting close to the Haxorus, who seems to be not moving.

"For the record." Wow she jumped hard. I wasn't that loud was I? "My Rattata's on its shoulder taunting the hell out of it." Lady jumped back, fast.

"We'll knock it out first then." Hero.

Lady nods. "Poliwhirl! Hail!" Oh, wow. Most annoying move ever.

…

Wow it actually is hailing. Imagine that. Sandslash isn't happy, El and Arty aren't happy, Haxorus is…still not really moving but I imagine it's not happy at all. I imagine Ratty's also not happy either.

…

Wait.

"Ratty! Get outta there!" Hail sets up for Blizzard and I don't think it aims right now FUUUUUUCK!

Sniper. "Poliwhirl! Blizzard!"

OH GOD that's a lot of ice.

"Arty, El, return." I call them back to the ball and get closer to the side of the cave. If that Haxorus loses consciousness it's going to fall down on top of us.

This was not planned out.

…

Blizzard ended. That thing was aimed entirely at Haxy's midsection. God I hope…huh?

"Is that Haxorus shrinking?" Hero is stunned. I don't blame him. It's getting a lot smaller.

…

Is this how big Haxorus usually are? It's like six feet tall, tops.

Check Dex.

Haxorus are usually five feet eleven. Huh.

It's a lot smaller now.

And it just collapsed.

Call out everybody again.

"Ratty!" Ratty scampers out of a dark corner. Whew. Check the little idiot for injuries. Nothing. He's good (at least I can't tell for now). "How's your leg?"

He makes a noncommittal shrug. I guess that means "they'll be fine".

Seriously, it takes serious balls to taunt something that huge and Dragon-y from its shoulder.

…

Wait.

Hero just picked up something from the Haxorus's body. It's moving up and down so I guess it's still breathing.

"What's up, Gale?" Hero's name is Gale? Ha.

Wait why am I laughing that's respectably badass.

"This looks familiar to anyone?" He holds up a pendant with some kind of rock attached to it.

Sniper takes it in his hand. "Reminds me of a Mega-stone." Stone of Pokemon Super Saiyan?

…

Wait, what?

"How sure are you?" Heavy asks him, taking the pendant next.

"Not very. It doesn't resemble any of the stones on display in Shalour. But the overall structure feels similar."

"But Mega stones only work with specific breeds of Pokemon, and there hasn't been any new stones for other families lately." Lady pointed out. Also.

"Shouldn't a Mega Evolution have a " uh, not graphical "physical change beyond just making it bigger?"

Hero, sorry, GALE, took the pendant back and put it in one of his bags. "In any case this goes back to Shalour for analysis." He looks at me. "I've personally never seen a Mega Evolution so I can't tell you, but if you're right about this then we may have found something very interesting."

Wait, wait, wait. We're calling it off here?

Gale probably saw the look on my face. "While I'd like to go further that one" he pointed to the downed, smaller Haxorus "could have friends down deeper."

I shrug. Of all the bullshit I can pull with my team actually surviving being hit by a Mega-Haxorus isn't one of them. Might as well follow the guys and get on out of here.

…

Through the carpet of Zubat corpses again. Ugh. I saw some Rangers take photographs while they carefully navigated through the bed of death.

…

_If that really is a Natural Mega evolution stone. _Then it wouldn't be made into a pendant. Someone manufactured that thing.

_And the Rangers didn't realize this? _They most likely do, but knowing it was manufactured doesn't change anything.

_This stone in particular made that Haxorus angrier and bigger. With no visible physical change._

It…would not surprise me at all, if that stone was built for the purpose of mass production. No tailoring fit specific to one family, just a blanket buff to the Pokemon. Shit.

…

Why'd we stop moving?

"Zubats." I hear Lady hiss.

Oh yeah, I had forgotten we're in the middle of OH GOD MY FACE territory. Shit.

Dex check. Team status…Thunder Wave's effectively spent, Rock Blast is spent. I have no interest in taunting a few thousand potentially hungry and bloodthirsty Zubats.

That leaves me with…tackles and leers.

Well, shit.

"We'll set up for a hit and run. Once we've fired dash for the exit." Gale said.

"Roger that, boss." Heavy called out his Poliwhirl quietly. "Hail on five." It nods.

Sniper calls out his Poliwhirl. "Blizzard on seven. Let's do this."

I count quietly to five.

On cue, the hail starts falling, to the immense surprise of the Zubats between us and where the exit to the first floor should be.

Did I mention we're on the second floor and thus still have two floors to go?

I call out El. Arty's too slow for this. "El, we're running through that." She looks at the hail and gives me a "You're an idiot and an asshat" stare. I deserve that, to be honest.

What's that sound oh that's the Blizzard. Time to go.

I take off at a run along with the Rangers, keeping their heads down. They withdrew the Poliwhirls before I even noticed, wow. El's running right beside me, growling her disapproval for this utterly moronic plan.

"El! Stun any Zubats that get close!" Advantage to smaller Pokemon; El jumps onto my shoulder and sends me stumbling for a few steps.

Blizzard is dying down. Zubats are getting really, really loud. Shit.

First Zubat, down in front.

It dives at Lady. She bats it away without looking. It hits the wall and is stunned and alone.

CAPITALIZE AND THROW BALL!

"Ratty! Fetch!" I send Ratty out. He takes one look above us and gives me a "Goddammit man" look and an affronted squeak before running and picking up that thrown ball with a caught Zubat inside it.

Rattatas can apparently run on their hind legs but they're slow as hell when they do.

Run next to him. Pick up ball. Ignore the screeching behind me. Pray they're not spamming Supersonic. Focus on the staircase upwards!

"This is going well!" Heavy laughs. "Last I was here Zubats were in front of us too!" Fuck There's like a thousand of those things behind us if there's more in front we're screwed.

_QUIT TAUNTING FATE AND RUN GODAMMIT_

LOGIC DO YOU NOT REALIZE I AM NERDY AND WEEDY

El's back on my shoulder. I heard a yipe and a zap. That means the faster Zubats caught up. Balls.

Corner up ahead! Take fast turn and step on the walls.

Ow my foot. El's not happy because of the force. Ratty's on my shoulder now too. What am I, seriously.

_Ratty gets a break. He has bad legs right now._

Yeah, yeah. Another zap. The wings are drowning out the screeching. Not good.

"OY! TOSS A REPEL!" I yell. I don't even know what the fuck

Sniper brings out a can of Repel, uncaps it, and throws it into the swarm behind me. I think it went off. God I hope it went off.

Nope. Sounds like the wings are still at me.

"REPELS OUT!" Gale roared. There's no point to stealth. All the Rangers grabbed all their repels and threw it behind them without bothering to look where they landed.

FUCK YOU TOO GUYS

This is what I get for trying to be smart while being more than a few paces behind the Rangers.

Adrenaline's keeping my legs going. If they give out I die.

…

Wings have lessened. Screeching is back. Faster.

Stairs! Up up up!

Clear!

"Ice beam!" I hear two Poliwhirls soaking the stairs in ice. Is that the right word? Soaking? It doesn't sound right.

Don't care.

Oh god. So tired. Need to throw up. Hold it in. I don't have anything to throw up, anyways.

Look up.

Cripes.

The Rangers are just breathing sort of heavily.

I guess they have better constitution than I do.

"Entrance is still a ways away. Once those repels wear off they'll be here. Move!" Get up. C'mon legs, we can rest when we're not in death territory.

Idea.

"El, electrify the ice as much as you can." El the Electrike looks at me then shrugs. Progress from "You're an idiot". I'll take it. She pumps the last of her thunder wave power (Dex says she had about two to three shots left) into the ice. Hopefully it'll slow them down some.

Get up, jog. Ugh. This was a very poorly planned escape.

Should've bought an Escape Rope. Those probably don't auto-warp.

Should've caught a Ralts.

…

It's oddly dark in here.

"Was it this dark when you guys came in here?" I remember there being more lights.

"Lights." Gale mutter, and four lights come on, aimed at the ceiling. No Zubats in sight, but all of the lights have turned off.

"Shit. Lily, Grant. Sides." Sides? Who's oh, not Sides. Lily (Lady) and Grant (Heavy) immediately drew their guns and took cover in the shadows, killing their lights while they did so.

Time to do the same. "El, Ratty, down and stay hidden." Call Arty out. "Pretend to be a rock." Arty has no expression because it has a gun for a face, but it obliges.

"Boss, cee vees up front." I hear Sniper mutter. Compared to the hellhole that is the Zubat alley it's now deathly quiet.

"I hear 'em. Play along." Gale mutters back, and we head towards where the entrance should be. Not having a path of lights to guide you is hard.

…

WELL LOOK WHO WE HAVE HERE OW MY EYES

Suddenly there's twenty lights on us. Fuck.

Ugh…Black clothes, check, idiot hat, check. Team Rocket.

It's been a week goddammit at least have some pacing

"Looks like we have some unwelcome visitors, guys." Lead Rocket says. Wow he sounds smug.

I am –this- close to calling them Fuckets again.

I am also in no physical shape to actually fight. Once more, shit.

"What the hell do you want?" Gale demanded, a lot louder than normal. I see a subtle finger point at me.

Smart man. Ignore the idiotic evil villain banter.

"Arty, maneuver behind them. Ratty, El, flank 'em." I mutter, and hear slight scuffling that is Arty rolling into position. It sounds very rock-like. So that's good.

…

There's twenty lights, so it's a fair guess to say there's twenty of them Rocket folk. No Pokemon in sight. That seems very odd, but no counting gift horses.

I can't do anything fancy right now, so settle for full body tackles when things go south. Ratty and El can't hit hard but they can confuse.

_And what about Arty?_

He can, uh, sit and Block I guess. I dunno what I was thinking. Focus on taking deep breaths. Get as much energy back as you can.

…

"And now, time for you pests to exist the stage." Lead guy finishes. Wow, was he making a speech? Gale looks bored.

I see guns.

Gale's response? Finger snap.

And suddenly I can't see anymore because there's a sword in front of me.

Oh. Oh wow.

It's an Aegislash.

It's two Aegislashs. One for Gale and One for me.

GUNFIRE

Aegislashes uses King's Shield! Everything pings off but god is that terrifying.

Fuck you cave echo effect, fuck you.

Four of the Rockets dropped. The rest look stunned. Lady and Heavy got them from wherever they were.

Gale's Aegislash goes into fanart mode. Shield on Gale's left, sword on his right, and he charges into the Rockets.

Time to motor.

"Ratty, El, Arty, Engage!" I yell. I doubt the Aegislash will let me move from here so I won't bother.

The yelps of shock tell me Ratty's doing his ankle biting thing.

The oddly high pitched screams tell me El's tackling between the legs. Clever girl.

I can't tell if Arty's doing anything, honestly.

From the sounds of Gale's roaring he's bringing the pain via sword to face.

From the sounds of everything that's going on I have no idea what's going on. Aegislash actually won't even let me look. Fine. Look behind me. Lady and Heavy aren't firing any more (I don't hear any gunshots)

Actually, nobody is firing anymore.

Imagine that.

It's still dark though.

Just screams, and yelling, and shit. Lights have been dropped and occasionally stepped on so it's probably utter confusion.

I have a light too, don't I?

Turn it on. Aim it at the staircase.

No movement.

Cool.

Turn it back off before you accidentally draw a swarm of Zubats up here.

"Follow up!" I hear Gale. Lady and Heavy comes out of their hidey spots, lights on, guns drawn, and aimed at the Rockets.

I feel the Aegislash leaving me alone and turn around.

Wow. Utter chaos much?

The entrance is shedding light on the whole thing. Gale's bleeding a little bit but for everything he looks badass as fuck.

There're four rockets on the ground. They're bleeding in a fashion that suggests they're not going anywhere forever. A few rocket are on the ground with the classic groin hold injury. El's looking proud of herself over there. Ok, I can agree with that.

Arty I don't think did anything…No, wait, nevermind. A Rocket tried to run outside and probably tripped on him or something. I see a Rocket outside and Arty at the door, what the hell am I supposed to think?

Ratty…Ratty.

Where's Ratty.

There's Ratty.

I can't see any signs of serious injury in terms of ankle damage but I assume he did it well.

God damn that is a smug looking rat. ata.

We're apparently close enough to the entrance. "Ground, this is Gale." Gale had a communicator on his arm.

"Go ahead Gale." I hear. Man this place is quiet.

"We have Team Rocket apprehended. Send support, over."

"Copy that, Strike team is on its way." Gale looks at me. "Get out of here. The paperwork you bring isn't worth it."

Screw you too man.

_You're grinning though._

…

Finally! Glorious daylight!

It's been…Dex clock. 3 hours?

A short trip indeed.

Let's get out of sight before that Strike team sees me.

…

[=Timeskip=]

…

"Earlier today a team of Pokemon Rangers sent to investigate the Zubat crisis" it's a crisis now? "stumbled upon a Team Rocket cell in the area, and placed them under custody. However, the ensuing firefight claimed the lives of four of those Rockets." No remorse.

I'm back at the Pokemon Center. The two pets that can eat got treats and freedom to do whatever they want. Arty got a polish. Not sure how it works but I was convinced it would make Roggenrolas happy. It seems happy. Hard to tell without a face.

"According to the evidence released by the Rangers the Rockets have testified to being responsible for" And now it becomes plainly obvious the anchorwoman didn't read that report beforehand "The wholesale slaughter of thousands … is this for real?"

Way to break professionalism lady "of Zubats within Connecting Cave. The correlation of this hideous act and the Zubat's recent open aggression against the city of Cyllage is unknown, however, the Rangers are convinced that, at the very least, an action like this responsible for the odd behavior of the Zubat populace." And on and on.

Lie down on the bed. After coming out of Connecting Cave I went straight back here to heal and fell asleep on the sofa. Not proud of it since Kalos Joy said I made some people giggle.

_In any event, this means the Rockets may have had nothing to do with the Mega-Stones._

"May" means very little. They could be using this Zubat massacre as a cover up.

_A cover up to what? _Ratty jumps on my lap. I scratch behind his ears. He's not a cat but he has huge ears, so meh.

A cover up to an operation on making mass production Mega-stones.

_Are you serious?_

Yeah.

_That's stupid._

I know. Alternatively they really had no idea about the…huh? A really pretty girl is waving at me.

_Hey, train of thought._

Sorry, derailed.

…

Oh, oh wow. That's Lady, but off duty. What was her name? Lily?

"Gale thought I should check up on you." She said. For all her smiley-ness this a business trip coated in pretend friendship.

I can play along.

"Interesting, what's up with the Rockets?" I invite her to sit, which she does. She's really quite good at this allure stuff. And she cuddles up close. Not close enough to imply dating status but close enough to be friends n'shit.

"They were totally confused when we mentioned that thing." Haxorus. "And the psyches called it genuine confusion, so odds are they're not behind the stone." She stares at the TV for a moment. "Initial reports from Shalour is saying that stone is in fact a manufactured mega evolution stone, but they can't say beyond that."

Well, isn't that just wonderful. I just nod slightly. "Ultimately it still doesn't answer why the Zubats were so aggressive to begin with."

Lily shrugs. "Fair to say nobody knows what that might be right now. It's been a year, y'know."

I repress the urge to facepalm.

"So in the end, all we know is that a band of Rockets went and killed a lot of Zubats, and someone out there has generic Mega-Evolution stones that makes Pokemon go insane and huge."

She blinks. I'm pretty sure she's not happy with my tone. "That about sums it up; I actually came for a different reason; we'd like to know why you went into that cave so woefully underprepared." That's putting it a little lightly.

"Professional curiosity." Which was true.

Her narrowed eyes tells me she's not convinced at all, but drops the subject anyways.

"If you show up to a Ranger operation area in the future, we may not be able to guarantee your safety." She's actually serious about this.

"Yeah. In the future I'll handle myself." Look Lady, I'm willing to do a lot of things but staying out of the way just because I was told to isn't one of them. Ha. She isn't amused by far.

"Well, go right ahead then." She gets up, whatever pretense of familiarity we've had is by now utterly gone. "Oh. The Rangers have transferred money to your trainer's account for your help in Connecting Cave." Oh, that's nice.

"Appreciate it." She then smiles, turns then walks away.

…

That was singularly the oddest exchange I think I've had in a long time.

…

Oh hey, I just got ten grand on my trainer card slash credit card. This thing is quite nifty.

…

On one hand I think ten grand is pretty low for nearly dying, on the other I didn't really do much. Oh well.

…

…

Fuck today.

Seriously.

I'm going to bed.

…

Oh. Wow. I am so sorry Zubat. I forgot about you for the past seven hours.

Zubat, uh, come out and uh maybe I can give you a berry or some

OH GOD MY FACE

.

.

{ = + = }

Author Notes

Here, have the second part of the Connecting Cave!

_You could've just not broken it up into two pieces._

Yeah, but it wouldn't have been very story-y.

_...*sigh*._


	8. Chapter 7 - From Cyllage Pokemon Center

**Chapter Six: Not Enough Karma**

{ === + === }

Oh god my face.

Jesus.

I think I was saved by the fact that that Zubat was in effect mine and thus it was not trying to rip my face off.

Ow.

…

Having Nurse Kalos Joy ask about how I got the four holes on my face did not help.

_You deserved it. _Yeah, yeah…Sorry Zubat, I did not mean to starve you for eight hours.

Fun fact, if you leave your Pokemon in its Pokeball it actually is still alive and requires nourishment.

Which means no boxing Pokemon at all now.

…

Meh.

…

As far as Zubats are concerned this guy's pretty bird-like. He's even perching on my arm all birdlike.

If it wasn't for the giant gaping mouth it would be a bird.

…

…

So what do I do now? Head up to Geosenge?

Sounds like a plan.

I've been freeloading in Cyllage for a week now.

Yikes.

_Not entirely, you've been working at the Pokemon Center._

I have money now. And a bus pass of free fares. To the station!

…

Why are there no busses to Geosenge?

Ask that aloud, hope to get answer.

"Because economics." Someone behind me grumbled. Fuck economics then.

So I either need to take a bus to…uh. That city. Korrina's city.

Fuck I need to look at my map more.

And then I take a…bus? I guess there would be busses to Geosenge from the closest beneficial large town.

…

Or I can pay attention to the girl who's walking towards me very briskly. What did I do now?

_She looks like a Lass. Dressed like one too._

Yes thank you logic that was very helpful to point out the short red skirt above everything else

"Are you Axel?" The mystery girl demanded. What did I do, I mean c'mon

"Yeah, that's me. You want something?" I'm a 120 pound weedy nerd why am I trying a tough guy act

…

She's now got a huge grin on her face.

"Oh good! You look just like sis described!" Sis…Lady? Er, Lily? I can't imagine Elenda having very vivid memories of me.

…The laws of clichés mean the three are gonna be related now, aren't they.

_All signs point to yes._

God dammit.

"Sis?" Might as well be sure.

"The best Ranger in the world. Duh." Wow she looks exasperated. I've actually been standing here silent for about thirty seconds, So…

"And why were you looking for me?"

"Because I need an escort to Geosenge and she said you were going in the same direction." She rolled her eyes. I feel irritated.

_Oh really, and how does that make you feel?_

A bit slow on the uptake Logic, still…

"I wonder how she knew that." Came out as a mutter, "But yeah, I'm headed in that direction. I'm thinking of taking a bus to—"

"Forget the bus! A real trainer walks to victory!" She said, complete with a pose at the end. People are staring.

This is what Cynthia would be like if she were in Pokemon and not Fire Emblem.

I happen to like FE!Cynthia.

Especially how her Japanese voice actor pronounces it as "Seen-Xia". Adorableness.

…

Aaand that's how I'm chaperoning a sixteen year old (probably. They're always sixteen years old) ball of energy named Anna on the road.

Lily, why do you hate your sister so much?

…

My god is she talkative.

In the timespan of fifteen minutes she's paused to take breath about three times.

Thankfully she's not actually talking to me, but the other people on the road, so I can just walk and act sulky.

…

"…and she also said you were an outsider to Kalos so you can ask me any questions." She directed that at me.

She made a five minute speech on the virtues of Fairy Pokemon to three trainers that were travelling alongside us (don't know their names, they never got to open their mouths) and tagged that little bit along the end.

…Well, since you offered.

"What's the outfit for?" She's wearing that Lass short-sleeved black jacketed thing of not-quite-as-adorable as the Ace Trainer outfit.

She does a little twirl on the spot.

Yes, I did stare at the short skirt. The internet has trained me well.

"This is the outfit for the Academy of Kalos. THE most prestigious Pokemon academy in the world!" She declares, pointing to the sky. My god that cheeriness is overwhelming.

"I'm just a rookie now," really. "But I'll be the best Ace Trainer, and then become a Ranger even better than my sis!" Ambitions, she has them.

_Once again, the optimism of roadkill surfaces._

…So Ace trainers are effectively varsity for that school. Interesting. That means Elenda was…when do they have school? This seems like prime school weather.

_Stay on target._

"And you're travelling to Geosenge because…" One of the other trainers finally got a word in. He looks…young. Like standard shounen action hero young. So sixteen-ish.

"Because I want to visit that place." She said. Cheery as all get out.

That place happened to house a Genocide-class weapon, lady, I'm not sure you're clued in to that.

"Since we're travelling in the same direction. I'm Axel." I offer up for a handshake, which the two guys remaining take in turn. The third one smiled and fell behind. I'm tempted to do the same.

"Jerome." The Shounen hero.

"Kyo." Other guy. He looks Japanese-enough to fit. Also old enough to be my age if not higher.

_You look young for your age._

Yeah, well.

"Anna!" She said, rather redundant, but meh. Also that cheeriness doesn't fade at all, does it.

…

"So why did your sister want you to travel with a," Kyo mulled over his phrasing a little. "chaperone, Anna?" That about covers it.

I haven't been doing jack to insert my presence, mind.

She looked at me, then the other two guys. "Because she doesn't trust me to go this distance alone."

…Implications much? Us three guys share some exasperated glances.

It seems rather conflicting to send your sister on a semi-cross country trip under the chaperone of someone you barely know in the name of defense.

Anna shrugs. "Sis worries too much." And pulls out a pokemon.

Mienshao. Chinese cat kung-fu thing.

Fuck, doesn't that thing come from Mienfoo at level 50?

_Isn't it also OU? That thing can like, kick ass and take names!_

She's travelling around with a fucking powerhouse. Why am I even here.

She then pulls out three more Pokeballs from her backpack and snaps them to her waist belt thingy. The Trainer Belt.

Fuck if they're all as good as that Mienshao why am I here? She could protect US from her potential rapists.

…well, ok, it's not like her potential rapists would target us to begin with, unless

_STAY ON TARGET_

Sorry.

…

And now we're comparing Pokemon.

I'd say I'm at the bottom of the bunch.

Anna's team consists of Uber Mienshao, a Pikachu, a Sentret (of all things) and a Fletchinder. So it's fair to say only the Mienshao is 50something while everything else is in the 10~20 range. If levels existed, anyways. Dex says the Mienshao is a veteran while the others had slight experience. Not very helpful in determining Pokemon capabilities.

Kyo has three. A Pachirisu, a Litleo, and a Ducklett. The Dex says they're relatively grown, so I'm guessing in the 20~30s range.

Jerome has three as well. A Zorua (never saw one before), a Pidove, and a Snivy. That Snivy earned some adorable squealing from Anna as she hugged the hell out of it while it gave Jerome a "please save me / are you serious" stare.

Interestingly enough he didn't look at all pleased with the Snivy. Considering it's a starter and you can never find starters it's probably pretty rare.

The Dex rated them as inexperienced, which I take to mean they're fresh level 1~10s. That might be why.

_So why the non-training? Is he starting from Cyllage?_

Who knows.

…Of course, I have Ratty the Balls of Steel Rattata, El the Electrike, who probably needs a new nickname, Zubat the Zubat who deserves more attention and a name, and Arty the Roggenrola of blasting faces with his face. He'll probably get a name change once he evolves into something that doesn't resemble a giant cannon.

Dex rated all of them (Except Zubat, who's new to the team) as fairly experienced. I'm hoping that's good 30~40s range but I can't see that Haxorus giving that much experience.

_If they were in the 30~40 range they'd evolved by now._

Mechanics.

…

Kyo, at least, got a nice chuckle from my oddball team. Anna had a slight pitying look on her face when she saw my team. Jerome looks…

Wow Jerome you're looking very holier-than-thou there

Right.

…

Anna's run out of things to talk about now, and is just skipping on ahead while humming to herself.

Might as well do checkups. Pokemon Centers are not magical, after all.

"Ratty." He's perched on my shoulder, so I don't even need to be loud.

Arty unfortunately can't keep up so he gets to sit back in the ball. Zubat can't take sunlight so he gets the ball as well.

Ratty perks up and looks at me. I think he knows.

"How're your legs doing?" He gives his front paws an experimental wiggle and nods at me. Goddamn I love this rat. I pat him on the head.

"El, how do you feel?" The Electrike cocks her head to one side. "You were front and center during that fight; do you feel any different?" She shakes her head, and gives me a low bark. She's also walking beside me so I can't whisper.

I'm guessing her bark said something like_ don't make light of me, human._

Heh. I guess that makes it sassy?

I rub it on the head. "I got it. But tell me if something's up. I'm counting on you two."

"What Fight?" Oh right. I have company. Shit. Jerome.

"Long story." I mutter.

"I find it difficult to believe any fight consisting of an Electrike, and a Rattata would cause any lasting damage." Kyo jokes.

And you would be right. Between Ratty and El they did a grand total of zero damage to the Haxorus.

I shrug. "Sometimes accidents happen and they have lasting consequences."

Anna gave me a strange look. I don't know how much she knows from her sister but I'm not about to clue her in.

"Must've been rough." Jerome. Thanks for the commentary.

"It was surprising." I shrug some more. Which was true. Fuck giant Haxoruses. It's like Godzilla if Godzilla had blades on its mouth.

…

"Hey! Let's go over here!"

Anna's up ahead some more, and waving at us from definitely not on the road.

We've been walking for the better part of two hours, and it's taking its toll.

We're not exactly travelling light either.

But a part of me says this is a really bad idea.

But this is north of Cyllage so Eevee.

Hopefully we can get an Anticipation Eevee.

Hopefully -I- can get an Anticipation Eevee.

…

There's so much of nature around here.

But it's all trees and grass and other bullshit.

I mean, yeah there's Pokemon, but apart from the ones you see on the roads (which, while friendly as hell, are not really newsworthy since they're pretty common ones, mostly Fletchlings) there's been very little action.

…

Now we get to sit down for a while!

_Resist the urge_

To do what?

Oh right, the insanely short skirt.

I just got my ass on the ground. Like hell am I gonna risk getting chased up again.

Ratty jumps off my shoulder and Anna's Mienshao gets released from her ball.

…

Also I think she's wearing pants underneath her skirt. Don't know the name for that clothing though.

Why bother wearing the skirt then?

_Stay on target, goddammit_

What's the target anyways?

…

Mienshao's playing with Ratty underneath a tree. I guess they're both rodent types so it makes sense, but Mien's like, four feet tall and Ratty's a rat. It's like a ten year old and it's pet.

If ten year olds could kick ass and take names.

They probably could.

…

I let Zubat out for a little. I'll probably just call it Zuzu or something similarly bland.

Wow it is indignant at being outside, even if it is under the shade.

…

Let go of my finger.

Here's your lunch. Eat it and go back to bed. Sheesh.

…

El's stretched out in the sun after her meal.

I'm not going to pet her because shock.

…

Nevermind I am petting her.

…

I'm pretty sure this is like the gateway drug to being shocked by Pokemon.

There was a trainer that wanted to be Nuzzled in Y, wasn't there.

I can see why he enjoyed it.

…

Kyo just held up a hand.

"I hear wilds." He mutters. Grinning.

Everybody got balls out and our Pokemon shook themselves back into alertness.

Ratty shook himself off a tree.

…

The hell was he doing up a tree?

…

Ratty's just itching for a fight; did the Mienshao do something to him?

…

Kyo took a moment to stop and listen and then points toward some trees in the distance. I don't hear anything.

But we head in that direction anyway.

…

Ok, now I hear something.

It sounds like frolicking.

I'm not sure what frolicking sounds like but if it had a sound it would sound like this.

…

Oh, did I mention I bought some more balls when I got my allowance from the Rangers?

Ten Pokeballs and they really do throw in a Premier ball. Buy twenty and get two.

I never got why it didn't scale in Emerald. Seemed like a pretty simple oversight.

…

Also being a trainer gets you free food. Not "good" food, but free food.

Don't know if I mentioned that already.

Obviously not an issue out here in the middle of nowhere.

_For the last, fucking time._

Stay on target, yeah.

…

Pass the trees, across the fields, and we come across…

…not the castle of the lord of hell.

But a flock of Eevees.

Are a bunch of Eevees called flocks?

But a flock of Eevees. Playing. Frolicking. Generally being insanely adorable.

This is what cats would be like if they perpetually had the energy of kittens.

…

Also if they had zero situational awareness because I'm pretty sure one or two of them saw us and didn't care.

…

Do Eevees have retractable claws?

…

Anna's looking like she's about to burst. Guess the girl loves cute things.

Everyone is smiling. I know I'm smiling.

…I guess this is why the games only capture during battles, huh.

...

I guess they do have some awareness.

INSTANTLY the fun and games stop and they scatter to the winds. A few of the Eevees stay behind.

For the record I feel like a dick about all this.

…

I'm conscripting an Eevee mother or father to fight for the glory of someone else.

Welp.

"Anna, can I borrow your Mienshao?" I say, standing up into the open. At the very least it's going to be a clean fight, if an unfair one.

Anna looks at me and shrugs, and Mienshao stands in front of the Eevees, who focus all their attention on it.

What does that Mienshao know? Dex, dex…

Low Kick, Bounce, Jump Kick, Drain Punch.

Wow.

Alright, now to observe the Eevees.

…

Nobody's quivering in Anticipation. They're all waiting for me to make the first move though. Or Maybe I missed a quiver by virtue of staring down at the Dex.

Bummer.

…

My OCD compulsion of having a Magic Bounce Espeon is fighting with my desire to have an Eevee.

…

Ugh.

"Nevermind. Thanks Mien." I say, and back down.

I get a series of strange looks due to that.

"Her name is Micah." Anna declares proudly. Micah.

_Ahem._

Right. No judging other people since I'm so bad at nicknames.

…

"Well if you don't want one." Kyo shrugs and calls out his Pachirisu. It immediately goes over and tackles one of the Eevees and promptly retreats.

That Eevee in question is now angry and chases after the Pachirisu. Smart.

The rest of the Eevees…yelp loudly and also chase after the Pachirisu. Oh dear.

Jerome calls out his Snivy. "Snivy! Razor Leaf!"

It shoots leaves at the swarm of Eevee.

It ineffectually shoots leaves at the swarm of Eevee.

The Eevee are literally being pelted with leaves and they give zero fucks. A move that has neutral effect should not be this bad at drawing attention.

Like oh god this is painful to watch in all of its ineffectual glory.

…

At the very least the Eevees in question are no longer pursuing the Pachirisu.

They're too busy playing with the razor leaves.

…

Man, that Snivy looks pissed.

It's tossing leaves with…a disturbing amount of anger, to be honest. Jerome hasn't noticed yet?

Anna's noticed and she looks troubled.

Kyo's busy with his Eevee so he hasn't noticed.

…

That amount of anger shouldn't be healthy for a Pokemon.

Unless it's a Primate.

It's also panting kinda hard now.

Jerome's egging it on.

…

Anna's stepping in.

"Jerome, stop!" She says as her Mienshao charges into the Eevees.

"What? Why? He's gonna bag all of them at this rate!" He looks legitimately confused. The Snivy's has been dealing next to zero damage for the past god knows how many attacks.

"Your Snivy isn't doing anything!" Mienshao's now batting the Eevees around. It's not using any moves, just batting them around.

…If this wasn't a battle this would be adorable.

The Mienshao's using its giant long sleeve things to bait the Eevees like you would do to a cat. And every time one of them lunges for it she just pulls it away and bops the Eevee on the head as it rushes by. The instant more than one of them lunge at it Micah changes where she's standing so she can avoid one and bop the other.

…Eevees be tacklin'.

"What?! He's doing fine!" Dude, your Snivy is overexerting itself.

-ZAP-

Sounds like Kyo's Pachirisu over there stunned its Eevee with a thunder wave.

…

Or a Nuzzle. It's cuddling the shit outta that Eevee.

It's probably Nuzzle.

…

Y'know if that was human on human this would constitute some kind of harassment.

…

"Patch, we're good!"Kyo's Pachirisu jumped off the now stunned Eevee and Kyo tosses a great ball at it. Shake, shake. Ping.

The rest of the Eevees turn around and run away after seeing the ball. About half gets away no sweat. They probably had Run Away.

…

Two are left. There were like a dozen before. Wow they flee fast.

It's been twenty seconds.

…

Anna's Mienshao singled one of the Eevees out and punched it into a tree.

_It doesn't look hurt at all, just winded_

…Sleeved it into a tree.

_That doesn't even make any sense_

There was some type of transfer of force that caused the Eevee in question to go back to bark against a large wooded object in the distance.

_Whatever works._

Although it was treed that Eevee looks just dazed. Anna caught it with a premier ball.

The other Eevee…

…

Just did a full body tackle. The Snivy is in the ground now. Dex didn't register that as a move, so…Take down?

Also Eevees are adorable even when they're angry.

Oh lordy it bit the Snivy before making a getaway.

…

Shit, I guess.

"El, stun it, then pin it down." El fires a thunder wave towards the Eevee, catching it and causing it to crash into the ground mid-stride.

Well I feel like a dick.

El then rushes forward with the intent of dragging the Eevee bodily back to me.

My aim with a ball is apparently bad enough I need to be point blank. Ugh.

…

Oh. Wow. Wasn't expecting that.

A third Eevee jumped from a nearby shrub and rammed El away. A fourth is dragging the one El stunned away as quickly as its little paws will allow.

I feel like a dick.

"El, enough." El takes a look back at me, growls at the Eevee (who growls in return) and trudges back. I feed her a berry and give her a rub down.

She knows she's not responsible for it getting away. Good.

She's just pissed I told her to let them get away. Not so good.

…

Jerome is a bit of an ass.

He cares about his Pokemon's service record, if you can call it that, to the point where he's willing to drive them to the ground for it.

Case in point. The Snivy in question is CARPETING THE SHRUBBERY WITH RAZOR LEAVES in search of the elusive Eevees that are in all honesty not there anymore.

…Also it looks like when you run out of PP you start casting from health. Yay.

…

In any case, according to Anna's wishes (which for whatever reason we're abiding by) we're spending the rest of the afternoon in the general area in order to catch Pokemon, and then camping for the night.

_YOU are abiding by her reason because you're a chaperone._

Yeah, yeah…

…

In retrospect why did we think this was a good idea?

…

It's now dark and I haven't caught anything. Ditto with everyone else.

…

So as it turns out actively tracking Pokemon requires a lot of skill that goes beyond "walk in tall grass and get jumped on." Of the four of us Kyo and Anna actually had skill at tracking and actually came close to catching some things (Emolga, Houndour, Snubbull) but every single time it was screwed up by either myself or Jerome.

Jerome has no idea what quiet is. The instant he sees a Pokemon he has his Snivy try and smother it with leaves, complete with a loud "Snivy! Razor leaf!"

I say try because it's been largely ineffective so far.

It got to the point where he would see something, get to "Snivy!" and the Pokemon would bolt away before he got to finish that sentence. And yet he sees nothing wrong.

I on the other hand have no stealth skill despite being quiet as all hell, and Pokemon would just "tell" I'm there and get going before I can get close.

…

I should probably avoid using the phrase ditto since it's actually a live thing now.

…

Oh well.

…

…

…

"Kinda odd for a trainer to not know how to track."

Gee, thanks, Kyo. "Extenuating circumstances. I'll pick it up at some point." I shrug.

It's now twilight, and there's a campfire going. We're enjoying dinner (wild food, nothing hunted), and Kyo's picking on me.

_Wah wah wah._

"Did all your Pokemon jump you at one point?" His Pachirisu's sitting on his shoulder munching on a berry. A little hard to feel anger at something like that.

Goddamned cute shielding.

"Yeah, they did; is that not normal?" Seems normal enough in the games.

"It's pretty normal. But you'll never catch some of the rarer ones. At least without really hurting them."

Point taken.

"I'll learn it at some point." I'm repeating myself, but it's not a subject I care about right now.

I'll just use my team to do catches instead.

…

"I'm going to bed."

…do you really need to declare that, Anna?

…she's pulling out a ball. A Dusk ball by the looks of it, wonder wh—

Oh it's a Hoothoot.

Why the hell is it a Hoothoot.

Are they the RapeWhistle Pokemon now?

Sheesh.

"If I hear her call you're all dead."

Yeah, we kinda got that.

…

Is that HootHoot staring at me?

Does it know I have the influence of the internets?

…

This means our lives are being held in the hands of a potentially smart and talented bird.

Great. Just great.

Screw this, I'm going to bed.

_Ahem?_

…

Release Zubat so he can go do whatever the hell Zubats do at night.

So long as he doesn't bite any of us.

…

[The Next Day]

"Jerome left?"

Wait, what? Look around. A blur. Grab glasses. Look around again. No Jerome.

Guess he really did leave. No baggage either. Maybe Zubat bit him?

"What was up with him, anyways?" I ask while getting up. It's acceptably warm out so I'm not even undressed.

Seemed stupid to be undressed out in a wilderness where anything can kill you in a matter of seconds, Hoothoot or no.

"Judging by that Snivy" Kyo says while stretching "I'd say he's from a rich family. Never had to learn a damned thing."

Anna looks distinctly uncomfortable at this.

Kyo also seemed to notice. "Jerome is rich and a prick. Not the other way around."

I'm not quite sure what he means by that.

...Unless Anna's uniform means she's rich kid too, in which case.

"Day two. What are we doing?" I'm breaking up the slight discomfort in the air, while feeding breakfast to my team (less Arty because as far as I can tell he doesn't eat). Zubat's happy enough to go back into his ball to nap the day away, so I think that means he's eaten his fill.

I don't want to know what he ate.

"We're still going to Geosenge and detouring for Pokemon on the way." Anna says, perking up immediately and getting a report from her Hoothoot. I never liked them before and I'm not sure if I should start liking them now.

Especially since they're probably smart enough to troll us.

"And on the way I'll teach you the fine art of sneaking." Kyo's looking all smug over there.

…You do it your way, I'll do it mine.

…

But I need a bird first. God dammit.

.

.

.

{ === + === }

Author notes:

Amazing how little initiative you have after finals are over, no?

_Isn't that just because you're lazy?_


	9. Chapter 8 - From Route 10, Somewhere

**Chapter Seven: Definitely not Enough Karma**

{ === + === }

Day three, somewhere between Geosenge and Cyllage…

I had a monologue somewhere but fuck if I can remember what it was. Anna's boundless optimism has the unfortunate side effect of causing happiness overdose and swing directly into depression and "god lady can you be quiet for just a moment" which is not said out loud for fear of having a Mienshao whip me into pieces.

Lily, what did I do to deserve this?

…

Also it's like three in the morning right now when Anna suddenly woke us all up. It sounds urgent and by god I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt because I'm really not a morning person.

"And what makes our princess wake his charges at this hour?" Kyo has been taking Anna's whole optimism thing in stride, going with a whole medieval motif. I didn't know Pokemon went through a medieval era and had knights.

They probably rode on Rapidashes and shit. God I'm not in the mood for this.

…

Well, this is new. She's actually serious for once.

…

It's also really dark.

God I hate nights outside.

Inside is fine, since internet.

…

I need my fix.

…

She's waving a hand in front of my eyes.

I am not amused.

…

"What did I miss." It's not a question. Stand up, stretch, get Zubat out. He still needs a nickname.

"The entire explanation. Wake up sleepyhead!" God she sounds happy about it, if a little quieter than normal.

I think I'm getting a nickel for every god-related thought.

"Give me a summary then."

"Arons are eating." Kyo, that's a headline.

…

Wait, Arons?

"Are Arons normal around here?" Shake self into wakefulness. I seem to be doing this a lot lately. Ugh.

"I don't think so. This is the first time I've seen one wild." Anna's HootHoot is out, pointing to some direction. I'm assuming that's where the Arons are.

"They're not; Arons are usually in Terminus cave, and only rarely show up." Kyo mutters while jumping and up and down. "They don't show up around here, sure. What's so odd about it otherwise?"

Anna's already headed toward the direction her HootHoot is pointing at.

"What, are they eating a car?" Kyo mutters and takes off after her.

…

God dammit Kyo.

…

GOD DAMMIT KYO!

A swarm of Arons are eating a bus.

...

I don't know how else to describe it. They are literally tearing a bus to shreds with their tiny, mouthless heads.

"Are there people inside there?" Spoke my mind, Kyo.

"God I hope not. Zubat!" By now we're whispering. Arons demolishing a bus is actually quite scary. "Fly over there and see if there's anyone inside."

...

It's bright for the dead in the night, come to think of it.

…

There's no clouds, full moon.

…

Oh, and the sounds of Aron chewing on metal.

…

I'm not sure how I can communicate how unnerving the sound of steel sheets being torn apart like paper is.

Especially since we can't actually see anything, apart from the glint that is the swarm of Arons. We can see the swarm of Arons because there's at least a hundred of them on that bus, feeding themselves on hopefully things other than human and Pokemon flesh.

…

Zubat's back.

"Alright, left hand if there's people, right if there isn't." I hold out my two hands and get some strange looks.

Why the strange looks all of a sudden?

"You can't talk to your Pokemon?" Anna's puzzled. What's there to be puzzled about? The rangers didn't seem to mind.

"No, is that not normal?"

Kyo shrugs. "Everyone can do it from the day they were born." Well, fuck.

That actually explains a lot, but fuck, all the same.

Welp, back to the task at hand. "Zubat." He taps my left hand. So there are people inside that bus.

Shit.

…

Once more.

"Zubat, tap my left if the people are being attacked. Right if they're not."

…

Right.

…

What?

"Wait, there's people in the bus and they're fine?" Anna sounds…almost indignant. Double the what?

"Should they be?" Kyo mutters.

"Well, no, but, could you stay calm while the car's being eaten around you?"

…

Point.

Hrm.

"So are you chasing away the Arons then?" I'm not interested in trying this out, for the record. Anna scowls at my question's wording but self-preservation comes first.

Kyo shakes his head. "No go. Arons don't come out and feed without parents."

Oh so there're Aggrons around somewhere.

When we can't see them because 3 AM.

At almost 800 pounds.

…

"Might be a good idea to get out of here, if the people inside aren't in any danger." Says Kyo as he pulls a little on Anna to get her to get down more.

Anna's...why must you be so good-person-type? "I want to get those people out of there; they might be passed out."

That's…I actually didn't think that was a possibility. _How oddly negligent of you. _Quiet logic._  
_

Out comes her Mienshao and Fletchinder. Followed by the Pikachu and Sentret.

"Let's not jump the gun here—" Come on girl think this over

"Micah, Robin, chase the Arons out of there! Prana, Senny, get into the bus when you see an opening!"

…

EVERY.

SINGLE.

TIME.

_It's been twice so far._

POINT STILL STANDS

"Goddammit!" Kyo swears and stands to chase after Anna, who for some reason decides to go out into the open despite it being dark as fuck. Out comes his team of Pachirisu, Litleo, Ducklett.

"Patch! Leo! Assist Anna's team! Ducky! On me!"

Micah the Mienshao, by virtue of being level fifty-something and fast as hell has already jumped into the Arons by this point.

The Arons were in fact feeding normally and were utterly surprised by the sudden intrusion of the martial art fast sleeve weasel thing.

End result: Micah sleeve-whipped several of them before the surprise wore off.

…

The Arons think we're stealing their food.

Shit. Never separate an animal from its…

Uh. Pre-breakfast snack, I guess.

…

And now the Arons are really loud.

I can hear a loud smack every once in a while. That's probably Micah.

The Litleo's growling or something. I think it's helping but it's really hard to tell.

Oh! Bright flash. That's the Pachirisu trying to be useful against Steel Rock. Good luck little guy.

I hear a bird. That's probably the Fletchinder. I see fire flying through the air. Yep. Definitely the Fletchinder.

…

Wow, pandemonium.

The Arons scattered due to the initial attack but rallied really fast. They're fighting tooth and nail to keep Anna and Kyo's guys away from the bus.

Speaking of the bus, the side I can see thanks to battle flashes is ripped apart to the point I'm surprised it's still holding together.

Micah the Mienshao is picking the Arons off one by one, but she(he?) isn't actually knocking them out so every time an Aron gets flung away it gathers itself and jumps back on it.

Also Arons are oddly adorable when they hit the ground back-first with enough force to lodge themselves in the ground and have to flail about wildly to pull themselves out. _Back-first. _Y'know, back to ground first. _I am ashamed to be your logic._

Patch the Pachirisu…has an Aron somehow lodged on its tail. I'm assuming there's a mouth involved somewhere but I can't see how. Judging by how Patch looks more confused than injured he's probably thinking the same thin—oh, wait, no. the screaming just started.

Fletchinder the Fletchinder is flying over the battlefield shooting embers everywhere. What was his name? I forget. Every once in a while it would actually hit an Aron and the Aron would roll on the ground and put the fire out. I'm amazed fire is still effective with a natural response like that.

Leo the Litleo…is shooting embers everywhere and not really doing much. He's getting the same response from the Arons as the Fletchinder is (Arons just roll quickly and put the fire out). It seems to be getting to the poor lion cub thing. His aim gets progressively worse with each shot.

The Pikachu and Sentret are staying in the back, not actually attacking but waiting patiently for a chance to break through and go inside the stripped down bus.

At this point if the people inside aren't unconscious then they're there intentially.

If only because I find it difficult to believe a bus carrying a nonzero amount of passengers plus a driver would somehow flip over and leave two or three of its occupants to die.

…

Robin! Robin.

That's his/her? Name.

…

Welp, might as well join in. Finish this before the Aggrons pick us up and kill us all.

Send out the team!

…

Wait, fuck. I don't have any type advantages.

…

Plan B!

"Ratty, go with the Pikachu and Sentret. I'm guessing they can fill you in." Ratty nods and scampers off.

"El! Blanket the Arons with Thunder Waves. Don't overdo it." El gives me a look that made it seem oddly cat-like and runs off to join the melee.

I'm guessing the look said "Do I look stupid to you."

"Zubat, blanket fire on the Arons with supersonic. Don't hit our guys." Zubat gives a chirp and takes to the skies along with the Fletchinder.

Judging by the indignant calls I'm guessing the Fletchinder doesn't appreciate the support.

At least they're not fighting each other.

…

For the record Anna and Kyo are giving out commands but the Arons are too loud for me to hear them. Not their roaring at each other or their offenders, since apparently Arons are actually pretty quiet creatures, but the loud thud that happens every time an Aron lands on the ground for one reason or another.

I could move closer. I really could. But it requires unnecessary bravery.

I'm still hiding in the back with the tall grass. Fuck bravery.

…

"Arty, set up near the Pikachu and assist their rescue operation." Arty…uh, points his gun-face at me. I need something else to describe it. "When they move make sure their path is as open as possible." Arty rolls off. I'm assuming that means he understood.

Arty's the best living artillery piece.

…

…

…

The battle's been raging for a good five minutes now.

The Pikachu rescue squad hasn't moved in that time. The Arons are holding very firm in their desire to preserve their early morning snack. Robin the Fletchinder, El and Zubat have all fallen back (landed in the case of two of them) to rest. Micah's now obviously tired, and isn't really making any progress.

On the flip side the Arons are being thinned out as well, with about half of them due to either fatigue or battle damage. Unfortunately they retreated inside the bus, so that isn't helping much.

…

Fuck it, brave time.

Out of the grass!

…

Where's the Pachirisu, come to think of it.

Oh well.

…

"We need to finish this and get the hell out before the Aggrons decide to kill us all." I'm about five minutes too late for the rush to the front line dramatic entrance.

Nobody seemed to care. Whew. "We know. Any bright ideas?"

Kyo looks…embarrassed. Guess his Pachirisu went back to his ball?

"What happened to Patchy?"

Kyo sighs. "An Aron latched onto his tail and planted itself in the ground and he couldn't pull his tail out. So he fled back into his ball." Arons are like, over a hundred pounds or something. I'm not surprised the Gen Four Pikachu couldn't do anything about it.

…

How did the Aron latch onto the tail anyways? Whatever, task at hand.

…

Kyo had a Ducklett, right? And Duckletts were water/flying?

Why's he putting it on reserve?

…

"Kyo."

"Hm?"

"Why's the Ducklett sitting it out?" Have I mentioned I'm horrible with names?

"Oh, Ducky" easiest name ever and I still forget it "is on reserve in case any Aggrons show up."

I seriously doubt that thing's going to go toe to toe against an Aggron and come out on top.

…

Then again this is reality.

…

Kind of reality.

…

…

We have now reached an impasse after another five minutes of...half-hearted battle.

Micah's now entirely spent and Anna called her back.

Everyone else has rested to some level and are now ready for round two, but since we're smarts and all we figured out a repeat performance is probably not a good idea.

"We still need to get those people out of there." Anna sounds pissed. Don't blame her.

"Commit all resources." Stretch. Get some blood into your, uh, face. I guess. I'm getting sleepy; no screen to stare at. "If we can get in, grab, and get out we don't have to worry about Aggrons."

…

"Or else…" Pokemon are smart, right? "Oy! Arons!" I'm not really yelling, but it's comparatively louder than before. "We're trying to get some of the guys inside out of there. Can you guys give us like five minutes? We won't disturb your dinner when we're done."

…

Aaaand I'm getting looks of "Is he an idiot?" from…wow, every human and Pokemon on our side.

Arty exempt. But I'm sure if he had a face he would be making one.

…

Nope, zero response from the Arons.

"Well it was worth a shot."

"You, uh," Kyo looks like he's picking his words carefully. "Didn't really expect that to work, did you?"

…

Y'know what I actually did expect it to work. "No, not really, but like I said. Worth the shot."

…

"Well if you're done playing around let's actually get to it!" Wow she sounds pissed.

She also fed something to Micah the Mienshao, so now it's ready to go.

Ether, I guess.

…

"Ducky, drench the ground beneath the Arons." Kyo's Ducklett leaps off of his shoulder and does little flappy pseudo-flying motions, spraying water everywhere. So now we have muddy ground.

"Micah! Drive them into the mud!" Wait what?

…Wow that sounded very wet.

The Mienshao just dashed forward fast as hell and slammed an Aron on the back and drove it into the mud. Where it's now stuck because a hundred pounds of whatever it's body is made up of is mounted on four stubby legs. Rinse and repeat a few tens of times and sudden we have a bog of Arons and no resistance.

"You really should've done this earlier." I say as the Pikachu-led rescue team navigate around the struggling Arons and make their way into the bus.

…

There's still tons of Arons inside the bus isn't there.

Shit.

…

"Ducklett's out of commission and I hear something heavy. We might wanna pick up the pace."

What something heav

…

…

Oh. Oh shit.

…

That does sound very heavy.

…

Also the sounds of combat inside the bus doesn't bode well.

…

We're now really short on time.

Fuck.

…

"Screw it. Ratty! Get out of there!"

Anna looks scandalized. "You're just gonna leave those people?!"

"Yes."

OW

She actually slapped me!

…

Ow.

Wow that really hurt.

…

Ratty's back. Ratty's the only one back so far.

"Anna, calm down and listen. If the Aggrons think something's inside that bus and it's threatening their Arons they can and will smash the bus to scrap." Kyo said. He's safe by virtue of having more hero points than I do.

Don't blame him.

…

Anna's seething.

"If we stay here Aggrons are going to rampage. And then everyone dies." I mutter. "We're pulling out."

The footsteps sound much closer now.

Double shit.

"Ugh. Everyone, we're leaving!" Instantly Pikachu's entourage pulls out of bus. They're running just fine so it was probably a one-sided, if fruitless, fight.

GIANT FOOTSTEPSOUNDBEHINDUSFUCK

Call everyone out of balls. I don't know how much pressure a ball can handle but I'm sure 800 pounds is a little much.

Dive to a nearby tree and cower with my pokemon friends.

Fuck Aggrons. Especially when you don't have a counter yet.

…  
Kyo's here.

Anna isn't. many steps.

Giant shadow. That's probably an Aggron. It's at the battlefield and it doesn't seem happy.

Fuck this Jurassic park bullshit.

"Oy, Kyo." I mutter. We're steadily creeping away under the cover of both shade and the Aggron roaring its disapproval.

"Can it wait?"

"How big are Aggrons usually?"

"Around seven feet."

That thing has to be more than that. It's hard to tell for sure because darkness but fuck it has to be more than that.

"That's probably a pretty old one, then." Kyo finished. Guess the size is not that absurd.

"It's still got eight hundred pounds of punch behind it." I mutter. "Where's Anna?"

"No clue. I hope she's getting away from that thing. We're headed back to camp."

I am growing increasingly unappreciative of nature and all its supposed blessings. "Zubat. See if you can find Anna. Lead her back to us if you can." Zubat chirps and flies off. Loving the little guy more and more, to be honest-ow.

Ratty bit me.

"I know. But he…he? Probably a he, operates better during the night." Ratty's getting jealous.

…

I'm going to be bit to hell and back when he's retired from the front lines, aren't I.

…

…

…

We're back at camp now. I don't know about Kyo but I'm too on edge now to sleep.

…

I may or may not be going insane because I hear clock ticks.

…

Shit, it's really quiet.

…

"Kyo." He jumps.

"Yeah?"

"Assuming Anna doesn't come back what're you going to do?"

"Go after the Aggrons. I'm not going to just up and leave. What about you?"

Up and leave. "I'm not sure."

"Not much of a hero type I see."

"Not at all." I really should've caught one of the Arons.

…

Wings.

…

Zubat's back, and he's alone.

Not good signs.

…

Binary decision time!

"Zubat, did you find Anna. Flap left if yes, right if no." Kyo steals my thunder.

Zubat doesn't move at all. I'm guessing he's waiting for a cue from me?

"Go ahead."

Zubat flaps his left wing. So why didn't she come?

"Do you know where she is?" Left wing again. "Can you lead us to her?" Right wing. I can't see Kyo's face but I guess it's not a nice look.

A moment, then…

"Does she not want to be found?" Left wing. Weird girl.

Kyo, gimme my thunder back for a moment. "Is she following the Arons?" No response.

Huh.

"Did she say she was following the Arons?" Left wing. So…what?

Guess I just phrased it bad.

You can have my thunder back now Kyo. _That is the oddest thought_ "Lead me to her." Whoa whoa dude.

Zubat seems to think the same way as it's not responding.

"Dude, are you sure about this?" I don't know but this seems like it's going a little far. Just call the damned cops or something.

"There's no heroics here." Kyo says while getting back on his feet. Sure there isn't. "I will not leave a lone anyone in the middle of nowhere and pretend I saw nothing."

No heroics my ass.

…

Welp. Sorry Zubat, but a command is a command.

"Zubat, lead us to her." Like hell am I walking away from this. I'll give you a treat later, if we survive this shit.


	10. Chapter 9 - From Route 10, Somewhere 2

**Chapter Eight : Sometimes Luck happens.**

**{ === + === }**

As it turns out the Aggrons weren't all that hard to find, once we got close enough.

For whatever reason they wanted to carry that scrapped down bus (with the people inside it) out of where it was to somewhere else.

As a result there's a massive path of destruction through the trees that was quite easy to notice and follow.

…

Attempts to follow the Aggrons through their path of destruction was abandoned within the first five minutes owing to the fact that crushed and overturned trees in semi-darkness do in fact stop us measly humans from climbing over them without sustaining scratching injuries.

...

…

[Dawn]

…

…

Well, we found them.

Aggrons, and a large scrapyard.

Skeletons of cars, buses, a plane, and everything else metal.

Littered in one oddly organized heap.

Aggrons are very proud of their neatness, if Kyo's knowledge serves.

Since the sun has come up the presence of Arons in the scrapyard is very noticeable. Small metal glints – thousands of them – among the ruins.

Fuck.

I'm legitimately terrified.

"I don't see Anna." Kyo muttered. He has much better eyes than I do.

"She's probably around here somewhere." I shrug. "What do you see in that heap?"

"Two Aggrons" duh "A few Lairons" I didn't see those "and a horde of Arons."

"And something that looks like a Mega Aggron."

…

Just once.

I'd like to not face down a giant monster.

"Where?"

"Inside that heap, probably. I can only barely see the top." Kyo points to where he sees said top.

…It looks…cap-ish? Mega Aggrons have an oddly UFO-ish head. It does kind of look like one.

"So…are they feeding the thing?" I have deep regrets about the latest decisions I have made in life.

"I don't think so, but I'm no professional." Kyo shrugs and resumes scanning the surrounding forest for what I'm assuming is a sign of Anna.

…

"How are we gonna get those people out of there." Without Micah we're literally boned out here.

"Worst come to worst we'll call in the Rangers."

…

Why didn't you just do that earlier.

"Rangers are emergency only, and we're not even sure if this is an emergency." Kyo said, probably responding to the incredulity on my face.

"There are people inside there with the possible chance of being eaten! How is this not an emergency!?" I hope I was quiet enough when I said that.

Probably wasn't though.

"WE THINK" Kyo emphasizes along with a finger "That there are people inside there."

…

Well, fine.

"Ok, fine. So we think there are people inside there. Can we call Rangers because Arons aren't normal around here?"

"Not really. They're not normal but not doing anything that would be considered worthy of emergency response." Kyo holds up a hand to stop my counter. "If they attacked, say, an active bus on the road then the Rangers would've been scrambled already."

Scrambled? That's an odd word to use.

…

"Anna!"

What? Where?

…

Anna is…

Being escorted.

Into the scrapyard.

By a Lairon.

…

What?

"Wait, these Aggrons are owned?" By a trainer?

"Looks like it; what the hell?" Kyo's just as surprised, and reaching for his Ranger Panic Belt.

Until I got one of my own I didn't know it had a phone option. You just had to press and hold the panic button.

"Cyllage Ranger Base here, state the nature of your emergency." A voice comes over the…radio? Speaker? Something.

"There's a horde of Arons on route ten being lead by trained Aggrons. Do you guys know anything about this?"

"Yeah; a Pokemon Professor is there conducting an experiment. What about it?"

"One of my friends saw a people being carried into the grounds inside a scrapped bus."

…

Silence, then…

…

"Roger that, we've let him know. Over and out." Click. Off.

"Well, that was fruitful." And an Lairon is running towards us. Guess it found us out.

…

..

"I'm terribly sorry lads!"

…

I have to admit I wasn't expecting a guy like this. I was looking for someone more evil.

He's weedy, glassy, and looks like me in twenty years. Utterly unassuming.

And yet he has a pair of combat Aggrons.

_You've read enough TVtropes. _Yeah, Beware the Nice Ones.

Also he sounds British, but that's not a mark for or against him or anything. _Suuure._

"I introduced this colony of Arons last year as a natural management against the suddenly increase in metallic waste that was being deposited on route ten." He shakes his head, patting one of his Lairons on its head. "Terrible, y'know? When people mistreat the environment like that."

"Either way, I don't think there are humans trapped in that bus over there." He points to the stripped down bus in question. "The young lady that was here earlier is already inside there."

"Anna!" I call out, because too lazy to walk.

"What?!" I hear a voice inside the bus, and then she pokes her head out.

She then promptly ducks back in. I assume it's because she's not happy to see me.

_You really need to stop alienating every girl you meet._

What? It's only been twice so far.

_Enough to count as every._

Yeah yeah.

"Any corpses in there?" My bluntness gets me a major cringe from scientist man.

"No!" Is the muffled reply.

…

So I have to walk after all. Goddammit.

…

"So what was in here?"

"Those things." Anna points to a couple of dummies in the corner.

...

We spent a night almost dying for twenty bucks worth of art supplies.

…

Though to be fair these dummies look human enough to scare the shit out of people in the night.

…

"Well at least there were no real people harmed except us." I sigh.

"If it wasn't for your Zubat we wouldn't have been in that situation." Kyo said lightly.

…  
Dammit.

"True enough." I shrug. "Then again if we thought about how many people would be left in a bus corpse that's been out here for god knows how long…"

…

Out of the bus corpse.

Into the man's shack.

_RESEARCH facility._

Right.

…

Simple, unassuming. A table, bed, kitchen, a set of monitors, connected to the actual computer somewhere out of sight. An Aron napping on table, and the researcher himself petting said Aron.

"Whew. For a minute I was worried there would have been people inside there." The man said after we confirmed there weren't any humans inside the bus corpse.

"While I understand what you're doing out here, why are you out here and not, y'know, somewhere less remote?" I ask as we sit at the table per the man's beckoning.

"My end goal is to have a small wild Aron population to sustain itself, and at the same time not fall prey to trainers who want to make money with zero regard to local ecosystem balance." Wow, he sounds kind of angry at the last one. "Having my station be close to major methods of travel would also decrease the accuracy of data, especially if I cannot go into the field myself."

_Sounds questionable for end goal "wild" pokemon, but fine._

"Can we have one of the Arons?" Kyo asked. From his tone I can tell he's half joking.

"If you can get past the Aggrons first." Well at least the man can take a joke.

…

In all fairness, we have absolutely zero reason to intrude on the man's research. Whatever his sinister and nefarious plans may be.

…

[Fifteen minutes later]

…

I'm sure he had said who he was at some point, but I obviously wasn't listening.

"One more thing; someone stirred up the Starly nests in the region, so go by the road up to Geosenge. No reason to risk your lives again." He had told us before we left.

Non sequitor: Aggrons are quite amicable when they're not trying to smush you into a bloody smear.

…

"Kyo."

"Yeah?"

"Are Starlies normal around here?"

"Why do you keep asking those questions?" Anna sounds exasperated; Kyo just lets her answer anyways. "They're usually around Route 11, but they're not that unusual around here."

"What, you think there's going to be a repeat of the Arons? Starlies don't eat busses you know." I hope not, Kyo.

_He didn't say how far these Starlies are to his camp._

Considering how much ground he can possibly cover it can't be any more than a few miles.

…

We left near noon.

It's now dark.

With the help of Anna's Fletchinder Robin we're now camped within sight of the main road (not actually on said road due to the noise of traffic).

I know Kalos is based on France.

And I know the distance from Cyllage to Geosenge is shorter (according to the map, anyways) than the distance between Lumiose and Cyllage.

I also know Geosenge is different compared to how it was in the game.

...So why is there so little foot and car traffic?

…

Question has been posed out loud.

"You're odd." Anna said, and proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the night.

_She's right. _The obvious girl is obvious. Moving on.

Kyo, on the other hand, pulled out a…

I guess it would be a smartphone?

_A HOLOcaster._

Because it's not half as useful as a smartphone.

_And less prone to cause idiotic injuries due to facebook._

"An act of vandalism has caused Reflection Cave to be shut down—" Kyo hears this sentence and sighs, then closes the Holocaster as if that explained everything.

"I'm almost afraid to ask." But what vandalism?

"Sometimes idiots throw flashbangs into Reflection Cave." He says as he finishes feeding his pokemon team for the night. "It irritates everything in the cave and causes Ferroseeds to carpet the ground with spikes." Oh dear.

"Most likely idiots like that is the reason why Geosenge's tourism is slowly dying out."

I'm sure there would be some people dumb enough to visit a cave littered by foot-hating sentient spikeseeds.

_Some people isn't nearly as many as, say, many people._

The same people that want to stare at naturally occurring mirrors.

_Natural's the way to go, y'know._

Yeah, yeah…

…

[Daytime, Next Day]

…

It's actually in my best interest to return to my former goal for route 10.

Which is to catch Eevees.

…

But at the same time I'm not looking forward to a repeat with the Arons with a Staraptor. If only because a Staraptor can actually catch and kill all of us.

…

Plan C, I guess?

"Ratty." The little guy perks up. I think he's finally glad to do something for a change. "Scout for Eevees for me, will ya?" Ratty nods and practically flies off my shoulder.

"Wait!" Anna. "Robin! Go with him. If either of you find some come back and let us know!" Props to the girl for thinking things through.

_Much further than you did._

I was gonna send Zubat along later.

_Sure you were._

"Patch, you too." Kyo's Pachirisu, surprisingly, vehemently shook its head before continuing to preen its tail. I guess the Arons hurt it a lot more than I thought. Shoot quizzical look at Kyo, receive shrug in reply.

_It was worth a shot._ His shrug seems to say.

No kiddin'.

"How are you planning to catch all of the Eevees?" Kyo said. Oh the bastard. He's smirking.

_Because you can't sneak worth crap. Can't throw, either._

"El, Zubat, Arty." I shrug. "If I can't sneak on them I'll just hit them at range."

Ohey, looks of utter confusion laced with skepticism and slight distain from both parties.

…

It just occurred to me that apart from Arty and Ratty (at the beginning) I've launched zero attacks that deals any actual damage.

Gonna have to fix that.

…

Fifteen minutes later, and we're still walking along the road.

A little less chatter than normal since we're waiting on our scouts.

…

Thirty minutes later, Robin comes back.

"Your Ratatta found a group of Eevees." Anna said after conversing with the Fletchinder for a moment. "It's a little out of the way. Are you going?"

"Of course." Fuck Anticipation. We'll worry about how to get hidden abilities later.

"C'mon Robin. We're following you." Kyo said. I hear laughter in his voice.

There will be so much gloating when I catch a flock of Eevees you have no idea

…

Come to think of it.

"Anna, what happened to your Eevee?" She caught one earlier with the first batch, didn't she?

"It's sleeping inside the ball." Anna points to her backpack with a thumb. "Until it recovers a little it's not coming out."

Fair enough.

…

Let's see…wow, Eevees do love their clearings conveniently bordered by trees.

"Go get 'em tiger." Kyo says. We're all speaking quietly just in case but I'm pretty sure the Eevees are making enough noise to cover for us.

Also Kyo's snide as hell. There will be gloating. And no Eevees for you.

…

_Realistically speaking, it'll be impossible to catch all the Eevees._

Factor in the fact that they can support each other and get running, I'd say…

_We're probably going to get half of them, if we're lucky._

Well, we're not lucky.

_Then you're just going to have to work harder to make up for it._

Goddammit Logic you're supposed to be the useful one here

_We're one and the same, though._

…

Ok, plan time. Ratty's back thanks to Robin's help.

I don't know if the Eevees saw us but I'm not taking chances.

"This is how our operation is gonna go." I feel a little stupid talking to Pokemon as if they're as intelligent as people around my age group, but they don't look lost, so here's to hoping it'll work out.

"On my signal, El's going to blanket the area with Thunder Waves." El nods.

"Zubat will also fly top cover, and blanket the area with Supersonics." Zubat flaps his wings. I take it to mean he understood. "Try and fire on the ones that're shaking off the paralysis if you can."

"Arty will set up on this side of the clearing and rock blast the Eevees."Arty…is Arty. But he's smarts. "Priority on making sure the Eevees stay together."

"Ratty will be on the opposite edge. Your job is to make sure that any Eevees running your way will be chased back into the clearing." Ratty nods.

Then all four of them looks at me.

…

I'm rather creeped out.

What are they doing?

_Your skill with a ball._

Oh. Oh… Oh.

My Pokemon are questioning my ability to hit the damned Eevees.

Sigh.

"As long as you guys can keep the Eevees clumped together I should be able to hit them."

My god.

El sighs, Ratty shrugs, Arty is Arty, and Zubat could possibly be laughing.

I inspire so much confidence.

…

"Got your plan all laid out?" Kyo asks. We had retreated in the event the Eevee hearing was better than imagined.

"Hopefully." I added a last minute change. Ratty would start the operation by showing up and acting hostile. He's forbidden to attack, so hopefully the potential threat would be enough to get the Eevees to not pay attention to us.

…Hopefully the potential "what is this Rattata doing trying to act tough" thought crossing the mind of those Eevees will get them to not pay attention to us.

For obvious reasons this isn't said out loud.

…

And suddenly the Eevees stop frolicking.

Ratty's trying to be as loud as possible, to get himself regarded as a threat.

My god is he not a threat.

It's like, one versus twelve. And the twelve are bigger.

"El, Zubat. Go!"

El the Electrike jumps out and fires off a blanket of thunder waves just after one of the Eevees turned around and cried alert.

_That might be how anticipation works._

Fucking Newtype Eevees.

…

Also I feel like a total asshole because a dozen Eevees crying in pain is really bad for my conscience.

…

That being said they are trying to get away. Going largely to their right, away from us and Ratty.

Figures; do they know we're here?

"Zubat! Right side!" Zubat fires off supersonics as I plug my ears just in case.

Welp. They're now confused.

Confused Eevees teetering and falling on top of each other is the cutest thing I've seen.

…

But they're still going right, with the not confused ones guiding or outright dragging the confused ones.

…

Rustling.

Rustling?

"Axel! Up top!"

Ax-oh wait that's me. What's up top?

STARAPTOR!

FUCK!

DOUBLE FUCK!

The giant bird just dove straight into an Eevee and killed it!

The rest are making a quick change to their left now. Or staring.

Shit.

_Catch Eevees and be dinner._

_Catch Staraptor and loose Eevees._

_Catch both and that's not going to happen._

_Catch neither and bail out to not die to a hungry giant bird._

…

Fuck, we're getting the Eevees.

Kyo and Anna are jumping in as well.

Staravias sighted.

"They must be starving to go after other pokemon." Kyo muttered. The Eevees are temporarily stunned, caught in the middle.

Ratty had the initiative to hide back into his side of the woods, since he's a small rat and there are hungry birds above him.

…

This is the second time we're between something hungry and their prey.

…

Oh god, that Eevee is really dead. It's got a massive gash on its side and its being torn apart by the Staravias and it looks like roadkill and

_STOP. FOCUS._

…

We're catching the Eevees. The whole flock. And we're leaving immediately.

"El, Zubat, Arty. Get ready."

Shit. I know how good a Staraptor is.

If I fuck up here I'm going to have at least three dead pets on my hands. And possibly three dead humans as well.

…

Nobody's moving. We're not moving. The Eevees are not moving. The Staraptor and its family isn't moving.

Oh lordy.

There're five Staravias and one 'raptor. I have three units, two of which rely on status effects to not die. The other one rely on keeping out of range.

Considering the speed difference that's not likely.

"El." This can go so badly I don't even know. "Thunder wave the raptor on signal, and then run. Hold its attention but by god do not get hit." El gives a low growl.

"Zubat. Blanket the sky with supersonics. The instant you get seen, hide until the threat has been removed." I have zero reason to believe he can win in an air to air fight. Zubat seems confused.

Arty. I need you to perform a miracle. "Arty, the instant anything heads for Zubat, shoot it until it looks at you, then find some cover." Arty nods. He bobs up and down because he's a giant rock with feet.

Ratty, stay out of this fight. Please stay out of this fight.

Anna and Kyo…

Have the birds seen them? They're under cover and I know they showed up because sound.

Welp.

…

_The Eevee corpse seems to have been consumed. Only its ears remain._

Yes, thank you my attention to small useless detail.

_They must've been really hungry; they'll probably fight extra hard, especially when the Eevees are caught._

Welp.

"Go!"

El fires a thunder wave at the Staraptor, which takes it full-on…

And promptly dives toward the Eevees.

Right. They're hunting, not fighting.

FUCK

Get balls.

No.

First things first.

Another Eevee's been grabbed and tossed high into the sky.

He's probably not coming down alive.

Arty. "Arty! Shoot that bird down!" I yell while pointing to the Staraptor. The Eevee in the air lets out a cry and was snatched by a Staravia.

The Eevees on the ground are now running to their left, so close to me.

GET BALLS

Balls, balls, balls.

I dumped all my balls near my feet.

They don't roll that well, fortunately.

…Eevee in the air has stopped crying.

It's now also on the ground.

Shit.

I know this is probably because of our –MY- interference that they're being hunted, but still.

...What?

(Possibly Anticipation) Eevee has turned and is standing its ground.

No you stupid little animal. Get out of there.

"El! Cover that Eevee!" I roar, and El instantly sees the target she's supposed to protect, and rushes to its side.

Meanwhile THROW BALLS AT EEVEEs. I hope these balls will at least protect them from being eaten.

"Robin!" Whiz. Bang. What?

Fletchinder met a Staravia about fifteen feet from my right.

I was being attacked and didn't notice.

I owe you one, Anna, Robin.

_One each._

"Patch! Light them up!" Kyo's Pachirisu jumps down to the ground and proceeds to Thundershock the sky.

Focus on the Eevees, catch them in balls.

I feel like an absolute asshole to take advantage of this situation.

But it must be done.

…The Eevees are utterly surprised that they're being caught.

…The hero Eevee is too busy tussling with the Staraptor to care.

_More like it's trying hard not to get grabbed._

While El's still painting it with thunder waves.

…

Cry?

Zubat.

Zubat's limping back.

One of his wings is punctured. He's actually bleeding. Hard.

Back to your ball.

Arty's covering fire being diverted elsewhere was probably why he almost died.

_Stay focused._

…

"Ratty!" I yell suddenly.

Because I want Ratty to get back to me.

Which he does.

Smartest mouse ever.

Diving out from under what was probably very good cover.

Because his trainer of not even a month said so.

Bravest mouse ever.

…

"Raptor's speeding up!" I hear Kyo yell and turn to see it…high up in the air.

Did it just pop an Agility?

We're so fucked if it did.

"Ratty, watch that bird and give directions to El and the Eevee." He nods and scampers up a tree, then screeches really loudly towards the two Pokemon in question.

…

On the other hand, I've balled all ten Eevees, and used all my pokeballs in the process.

_Pick the ten you missed up later._

No shit.

…

El and Eevee suddenly scattered immediately after Ratty screeched at them. Then the Staraptor's claws narrowly miss the small fluffy animal or the small electrified thing.

And it immediately takes off into the sky again.

The Staravias…

Have retreated back into the sky. But they don't seem to want to leave.

We can probably break for it now.

"Eevee! I got all your friends here, disengage and get out of here!"

It shakes its small, adorable head and yelps. Followed by a shrill call from the Staraptor.

"I'm not leaving until that fucker is dead." I think it says. Two of his friends are dead. I can't blame him.

That Eevee is mine.

_Kleptomaniac._

"Arty, when the raptor" WOOSH "sweeps down again, covering fire over El and the Eevee." WOOSH.

Two dives in the span of one sentence.

That fucker is fast.

Arty digs in and prepares to shoot.

A third dive. Followed by a screech.

Arty rapid fires over the heads of El and Eevee. Every time they dodge El (per my orders) runs back to Eevee's side. It's running her ragged.

…Arty's shots were very late.

The Staraptor climbed far faster than Arty would have caught it.

Shit.

New plan.

"Robin! Catch that Staraptor!" Anna?

What wait no

Robin the Fletchinder climbed into the sky…

And was immediately forced to dive again.

The Staravia are covering for their boss (or dad, or mom, or whatever).

…

The Hero Eevee is also running ragged.

We need to finish this right now.

"Arty, fire on my orders, at the Eevee. Don't actually hit it." Arty turned really fast towards me when I told him to shoot at the Eevee.

Kyo's Pachirisu has stopped shooting things to cover for me, since an enterprising Staravia dives at me every so often.

I am literally being protected by small electrified squirrel against a predator almost twice its size.

…

...

"NOW!"

Arty fires just before Ratty's screech.

Eevee and El dives out of the way...

And the Raptor…capitalizes on El being tired and homes in on her.

Half expected this. Makes things tougher.

"Arty! Stop it from climbing!"

Arty fires over the head of the Staraptor.

Ratty screeches.

El dodges, and gets nicked by the Staraptor.

The Eevee wants to join in but apparently can't find an opening to charge in.

"Ratty, next time it dives jump on the damned bird!"

I see a small purple blur jump off the tree, running at full speed toward the fight.

Raptor's diving...now!

"El! Left!" El the Eletrike. In her insane intelligence...

Jumps to the right.

As the Staraptor attacks to the left.

It's caught by surprise and suddenly stops where it is. It stops for a few seconds, tops.

The window we needed. The window he needed.

A brown blur catches the bird full in the chest, knocking it back a few paces.

_Eevee saw the opening and capitalized. Follow up!_

Ratty reaches the melee and jumps straight onto the back of the bird, sinking his fangs deep in. (I think. Too far to tell).

I guess he bit because the Staraptor lets out a shrill cry. I can see how it has Intimidate now.

And then El bites it on the bird-ankle.

Bird-leg.

...

The Staraptor's actually in the air a little now.

Arty's covering fire stops it from flying too high.

It's spinning to try and shake Ratty off.

Ratty's got his purchase on the 'raptor's back.

And El's danging off of the bird's leg.

And every time it spins to face the Eevee accidentally the little guy rams it full on in the chest, knocking it down a few feet.

…

It gives another shrill, and bats all three Pokemon away with a massive sweep of its wings.

Ratty was blown away entirely and was caught by Robin.

El and Eevee were blown away, but they were still on the ground, at least.

El skidded on the ground and hit a tree.

Shit.

But she's getting back up.

Tough little lady.

"Arty! Force it away! El, Thunder Waves!" Arty fires at the Raptor, who takes off with a massive sweep of its wings. El tries to shoot a thunder wave, but can't muster up the strength. I don't blame her.

...

Arty's shots struck the raptor on the body, but...

I'm not sure we hurt it.

At all.

…

Another shrill cry, as the massive bird pulls up, out of Arty's reach.

The Eevee struggles back to his feet and barks at the sky.

_Is it really barking?_

Closest sound I can think of.

The bird yells at it in response.

…

And then it turns and leaves, along with its Staravia posse.

…

We were a little too troublesome to be food, it seems.

_Breathe._

…

Considering they weren't even out of sight before they dove suddenly again, we were certainly too troublesome to be food.

…

Eevee.

…

The Eevee looks…dejected.

And cut. Cut badly.

So it was failing every dodge against Raptor's claws by a sliver. Barely makes the dodge, but still get scratched.

And the bird was moving fast enough its claws were practically bullets.

…

I'm just gonna gather up my missed balls. I really need to work on my range.

Anna and Kyo walks into the clearing. There's nothing that can be said. Their pokemon returns to them, and watches the hero Eevee as it...screams at the sky a few more times. I don't know how to describe it.

...

This attack was…routine. (According to Kyo, some nights later) A little uncommon, sure, but routine, since the Staravia line were heavily carnivorous and would hunt prey.

It was uncommon because Pokemon only hunt each other when other sources of food were exhausted.

For a Staraptor family to have not had food long enough to hunt Pokemon is rare sight in this route.

And that it targeted this batch of Eevees was purely bad luck.

…

The Hero Eevee…picks up the ears of the devoured Eevee and sets them down next to the one that was killed but not eaten.

Lays next to the still intact body of the second Eevee.

And cries.

I...I can barely hear it, and at the same time I can't hear anything but.

…

Bring out all the captured Eevees.

They scamper over to the…scene.

Some of them nudge the corpse, a few pushing it gently, as if to rouse it from sleep.

Some of them nudge the bloodied ears.

And some of them nudge the hero Eevee, as he cries over the dead.

…

There's ringing in my ears.

I can't hear anything else, except the Eevees' crying.

…

Is he angry?

_Angry at not being able to take revenge?_

Are they angry?

_Angry at being powerless against something they had no chance against?_

Or just sad?

_That a friend is gone because a stupid human and poor luck decided to align together?_

…

Such a small thing, Eevees.

Shaking.

...

There's dust in my eyes.

So much dust, I can't see.

.

.

.

{== + ==}

Having vivid imaginations is horrible.


	11. Chapter 10 - From Route 10, Somewhere 3

**Chapter Nine : Eevees and the ruins of Geosenge**

{ === + === }

How long has it been now?

_Around twenty minutes, probably. Poor thing's all cried out._

So…what should we do now?

_Catch it._

What.

_Catch it. You have its friends. Are we going to release all of them?_

…No, not really.

_So catch it. Be a kleptomaniac jackass._

Goddammit logic.

...

Premier ball, out.

…

Oh. Well. Now everyone's looking at me.

NOW I feel like a Kleptomaniac Jackass.

Hi HeroVee.

...

It looks at my ball. Looks at all its friends currently under the control of some human it has never met.

…

And it barks at me. While staring at the ball.

_I think it wants to go with you._

For what reason?!

_Maybe it's hell bent on vengeance?_

I hope not. Not healthy for something that small and adorable to be so evil.

Oh well.

Premier ball, go!

_He says as he underhand lobs it at the Eevee._

…

Twitch, ping.

…

Huh.

Didn't expect that.

Return all Eevees to their balls.

I now have eleven Eevees.

I get the feeling if they were all adorable and happy and shit there would be an explosion of cuteness so fierce we can see it from outer space.

_You swing a little too quickly between sad and happy._

Benefits of having a lot of sympathy and no soul.

…

…

"So, ever caught a swarm of pokemon before?" Kyo said, a little faux-lightly.

We've been walking for the past hour heading to Geosenge in total silence. He's obviously trying to lighten the mood, if only a little.

"No. Is there a catch?" I sound so genuinely lighthearted it's creepy.

"A pokemon family is generally much harder to train, especially if they were caught in less than ideal situations." I suppose seeing two members of their family slaughtered would count as the epitome of less-than-ideal situations.

_All but two of them could have died._

But then it wouldn't have been a family.

"And having more Pokemon means they eat more. You can't get free food if you have more than ten or a large final evolution." Anna piped in.

"So your Mienshao…" Kyo says hesitantly.

"She's fine because she's small." Anna shrugs. "I get her the best food anyways because she's picky though."

…

So I'm potentially facing being totally and utterly broke because pokemon food.

_And because you're too much of a softy to cut corners._

Well they're Eevees.

…

Speaking of which.

Uh.

It's dinner time.

…

…

Kyo's looking at me, and he's filled with genuine glee at what's going to happen.

You asshat. I swear to god.

Anna, you too? God dammit.

_I guess they don't count the Eevees still being shellshocked as a potential outcome._

To be fair predator-prey relationships happen pretty often.

_Not among Pokemon, I suppose._

…

Let's…let's get this over with.

All of you! Go!

…In sequential order because I can only throw two balls at a time throwing underhanded!

…

I am now staring at 11 pairs of brown, adorable Eevee eyes, while my team of four kind of glances around nervously.

Three glancing around, Arty just being Arty.

Arty's like the chillest Pokemon ever.

_Focus._

Right. Uh…

…

Huh. None of them look angry. A few annoyed, sure, but no overwhelming hostility.

"Dinner time." I pull out the berries and stuff we've been gathering while travelling the past three hours or so.

Much as I dislike their intent I do appreciate Kyo and Anna gathering food for these little guys.

…

Instantly noise.

My god.

So much Eevee screeching.

I think this is the point where one crosses from "cat-lover" to "crazy cat-guy".

…

"I'm amazed none of them hate you." Kyo said a few minutes later, after his Pachirisu did some talking between him and one of my Eevees.

"They don't?" I'm honestly surprised and very happy. Doubly so when one Eevee finishes his/her food and comes over for what I think is a petting. My cat does this too so I'm assuming it wants a petting.

_Remember to avoid the rough tuft on its head~_

Yeah yeah…

"They don't. Apparently most of them are thankful you saved them from dying, if grudgingly in some cases." Kyo pets another Eevee. Most of the Eevees are more or less done with food and are now looking to play.

My team looks at me. I shrug. They go off and play.

Except Arty. Who's just standing and being Arty.

…

I'm pretty sure if this happens in a residential area there would be an infinity amount of noise complaints filed from the neighborhood within a three block radius.

…

"Well, they're not very happy about being tamed but most of them are taking it in stride." Kyo turned serious. "Apparently the Staraptors have been attacking with disturbing frequency around here." So, wait.

"So that wasn't isolated?"

"No, Pokemon usually don't attack each other in the interest of feeding." Kyo accidentally rubbed an Eevee on the rough tuft of hair, earning him a nip on the hand. "Most Wild Pokemon battles occur because of territorial disputes or fight over food sources; very rarely do they actually hunt and kill each other for food."

"So…" I'm not finishing that sentence yet. Kyo looks at me for the end of that sentence and doesn't see it; so he shrugs and continues being overwhelmed by Eevees.

We're all being overwhelmed by Eevees. They're adult cat-sized bundles of kitten energy.

_Or active dogs._

So something is causing the 'raptors to attack in force? Or are they hunting because their food sources are being compromised?

_Or are they attacking because they can't find any sources period?_

Yes hi Eevee number god knows what. You guys move around too much. Ear scratches for you. Lean into the scratches. Good Eevee.

Lose your balance into the scratches. Better Eevee. You get belly rubs.

Staraptors are rare around here, right? So it would make sense they wouldn't know about food sources on this route.

_On the flip side considering how quickly they aimed at something else the instant they left your Eevees along that they can't find food seems to be rather far-fetched._

"Are…are you talking to yourself?" Anna. Was I mumbling?

"Yes."

She doesn't say anything and just ignores me in favor of the Eevees. Smart girl. One Eevee is kinda standing off to the side. Is that the HeroVee?

Note to self. Interact with HeroVee later and maybe fend off PTSD.

_Do Pokemon get PTSD?_

No clue. Not taking chances.

_Anyways._

No point going about this conversation since there's nothing I can do about it. Fact of the matter is something is causing the 'raptors to go hungry enough that they're attacking local wild Pokemon. Considering there's practically no information otherwise…

_We're sitting on our asses and praying?_

Yep.

…

…

Why hello Gensenge. Nice to see you today.

…

You look utterly beaten up and we're not even at the doors yet.

"Geosenge looks…bad." I am a master of conversation.

We're on the…what I assume is the local equivalent of a highway, looking at Geosenge in the distance.

I don't know if it's the lighting but Geosenge definitely looks like it has seen better days.

_Besides the whole "we had an apocalyptical weapon underneath our feet" thing._

That too.

Also Geosenge…

I guess this would be NEW Geosenge, considering how the old site was effectively abandoned.

New Geosenge looks far more modern than the wooden houses and stones and stuff.

_In other words it looks a lot more boring._

"That's what heavy tourism dependency does to you. Funny, though…" Kyo said, squinting at what I assume is the Geosenge skyline. "I was expecting more flight traffic."

I assume he doesn't mean a passenger liner. "Fliers come here often?"

"Somewhat. It's a little out of the way but with a fast bird you can come here for a trip and leave by dusk."

So it's odd that the sky is entirely devoid of Pokemon.

"Maybe they're under lockdown?" Anna suggested, sounding a little annoyed.

"For what?"

"For the idiots that flashbanged Reflection Cave."

…

Oh.

I had forgotten about that. Judging by the look on Kyo's face he's forgotten too.

"That's probably it." Kyo sighed. "I'm gonna avoid Geosenge for now then; too much paperwork."

…

Paperwork, he says.

…

In any case, we part ways here.

A little further down the road. Kyo heads to Shalour for whatever reason he was unwilling to share (the highway avoids Reflection Cave entirely anyways) and the two of us head to Geosenge.

My god I am not looking forward to this.

…

…

…

Paperwork.

What paperwork?

The rangers cleared the two of us in a matter of seconds.

…

"Anna." I ask as soon as we're out of ranger hearing range. "What paperwork was Kyo talking about?"

"I'm not sure either." Anna shrugged. "Then again I'm from a Rangers family so the ones operating around Cyllage know me pretty well.

I suppose Geosenge would count as the "around Cyllage" area.

And I tagged along with that? Nifty.

"Time for us to head into Geosenge proper!" What, wait

No don't drag

Arg

…

Yes I know we needed to catch the bus but

It's practically empty

Goddammit woman

…

Ow.

_Learn to stow your gear better next time._

So I won't be smacked in the back by a pack full of hard as hell balls. Yeah.

…

Welp.

Come out HeroVee!

…

This bus is comparatively smaller, and more aligned with how, uh, an earth bus looks. Rows of seats and slightly more leg room though.

Pet HeroVee.

Poor thing looks confused and a little angry.

Guess it doesn't want to be dragged out for no reason.

…

Why were we in a hurry again? It's like gonna be another five minutes before we go.

…

Pet HeroVee some more.

"Hey." Anna what whoa

Why so close

Personal space violation! Bubble in danger!

"Yeah?" She's a tad too adorable. _Stay on Target_

What Target?!

"Why are you visiting Geosenge? I mean, really." She asks.

…According to her eyes either she figured out I've got something else under my sleeve or Lily did.

…Well, this is nigh uncomfortable.

"Morbid curiosity."

THAT earned a raised eyebrow.

And she pressed onward no more.

…

I have the distinct feeling of having made a serious misstep in the proper maintenance of my cover.

…

Bus is moving now.

…

HeroVee is less annoyed and sulkily accepting the petting.

…

Look around a little.

There's…five people on the bus besides us two.

Wow.

Bustling tourist site this place is not.

Most of them are looking around with…open indifference.

Huh.

Do they work there?

…

Wow that's a horrid thought.

_Apologies to the national park employees that can read minds._

_…_

_Oh wait mind reading actually exists in the Pokemon world_

Oh wait mind reading actually exists in the Pokemon world

_FUCK!_

FUCK!

…

Twenty minutes later, we're here. At the site of old Geosenge.

The game didn't really do this place justice.

The town was indeed made of old-looking wooden buildings.

The fact that there are still wooden buildings standing confirms that.

The wooden buildings that have burned away revealed metal reinforcements where, I suppose, the walls would have been.

Tourist site indeed. Pretty on the outside tough as nails on the inside.

And…the giant, garish hole in the middle.

"Wow."

Anna has no words, and just went on ahead.

_Chaperone job over?_

Job over, god I hope job over.

Focus now.

…

Why am I here, exactly.

What am I looking for?

_Some signs._

Great.

…

_Calling it morbid interest was really on the ball._

Yeah, yeah…

…

Edge of the massive pit.

Wow it looks technological down there. And rubble-y.

_Summary of the century._

…Wait, is the entire underground empty?

_Looks that way._

Yikes.

Let's…take a look around.

Nobody's here.

How the fuck is there not a soul in sight at the site of an ex-weapons facility?

_One possibility: nobody knows it was a weapons facility. It WAS a giant flower that showed up after all._

That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

_Second thing. A flower never appeared to begin with. Don't have to censor what didn't exist._

That is relatively less dumb, but still dumb.

_And yet we're jumping down there._

Yep.

_And the railings?_

Fuck the railings.

…

Or we could just take the disguised entrance a little ways away that apparently nobody noticed, considering the obvious lack of security and strangely unpowered systems.

_Not that strange. If the underground system was built on top of Geosenge then all it has to do is leech power from the town._

And have nobody notice the extra strain on the grid. Right.

…

_What part of a little ways away implied a one hour walk?_

The part where we avoid jumping down into a pit of debris that could potentially cause instantaneous death.

...

It's a little more cramped than the game's version due to debris and general negligence.

Say what you want about Team Flare they had some really good janitors if they restored a 3000 year old workstation to sparkling clean status within…however long time period the game is supposed to take place in.

_You cleared the storyline in about three days._

I played a lot. Shush.

It's also very not dark down here. The lights are still semi-functional. The ones that are still intact anyways. Footing is also bad due to debris. What the hell happened down here anyways?

_Apart from the giant genocidal flower collapsing onto the structure?_

Yeah, apart from that. Logic dictates—

_I dictate nothing._

Oh fine then. Be that way.

…

HOLY SHI-

…

Ok, I'm ok. That was just more debris coming down.

…

Total silence plus area about to collapse equals really, really bad for my nerves.

_All you need now is a lamp and some oil._

I never played the game though.

...

Great now I'm seeing shit around corners. Damn you Amnesia!

…

Well, this opening into some relatively darker path looks suspicious.

_Besides the fact that it looks recently made?_

That is the only fact.

"Zubat." I still haven't given him a name. Out pops the little master of dark places. "Scout ahead and come back if you see anything suspicious." Zubat gives off a little chirp and flaps into the semi-darkness.

…

Man. Years of wearing bad glasses makes me doubtful of my own eyesight.

_And yet you're going down that path anyway._

I'm insane now.

…

…

Zubat's back in a hurry, wonder what it –ow.

Why did you bite me?

"Did you see someone down here?" Ok, that was like a cat-nibble. No teethmarks.

_You mean perforation. I can see teethmarks just fine._

Zubat chirps and does…what I think is nodding.

…

Why are there other people down here?

_Why are you down here?_

Morbid interest.

_Same thing with them._

Well, might as well find them for the sake of amusement.

_The darkness is screwing with your mind a little bit._

A little?

…

Uh.

Huh.

I wasn't expecting Team Flare to be down here, of all things.

_How do you know they're team Flare?_

It's dark enough to make navigation a pain, not hazardous. Plus giant poofy dress-thing and red skirt thing.

_Pity we never paid attention to the Team Flare lackeys._

No, they weren't memorable.

Except for their oddly eye catching belts on the men.

…

Am I up for a fight, that's the question.

…

Wait, talking. Stop, listen.

…

…

Nope. Too far to hear anything.

Shit.

…

Hrm.

Then again I don't have to go in guns blazing. All I know right now is that there are people here. Most likely they are salvage crew or some other good guy stuff.

…

Still, never hurts to be a little paranoid.

"Ratty." The little guy pops out. Sees Zubat, and promptly stares at me. Slightly overenthusiastic, he is. "Hide, and be ready to attack on my orders. Same to you Zubat." Nobody else is capable of moving down here efficiently.

_Arty._

Has no footing in the debris.

…

Welp, let's do this.

…

Oh, wonderful. Whoever they were they heard me and are now entirely silent.

Odds of them being good guys dropping.

...

It's extremely difficult to sneak without making a lot of ruckus in a veritable swamp of debris and rocks and loose things and just love to clatter and stuff.

…

Yeah I'm not fooling anyone.

Plan B. All out attack. I can mend fences later.

"El-" GAH

…

Growling. Really close growling.

My back feels prickly.

Hello yellow eyes.

Dog-like scent.

Paws. Claws. Dark streaks.

Mightyena.

I'm pinned to the ground by a Mightyena.

Plan C.

"Now!"

A loud screech.

_What the hell is plan C?_

A small blur launched itself at the Mightyena, hitting it right below the neck, knocking it off.

…Forcing the Mightyena to swipe in retaliation.

Bleeding now. It caught my arm. Asshat.

"Zubat! Blanket sonics!" Being able to teach Pokemon new words is great.

…Being caught in the blanket of supersonics, not so great.

Look at all the pretty stars~!

Shit! Focus!

Ratty won't last long in this fight.

"Zubat!" Oh lordy I'm slurring like a drunk man and I don't even drink "Dive bomb that damned dog!" Hey that alliterates slightly.

I hear something zooming down, a loud smack, and a whine.

Call out reserves.

OH SHIT THAT'S LOUD

"Drudiggon! Dragon Claw!"

IT'A DRUDIGGON FUCK

"Shit. Scatter!" Sounds of scampers and a loud woosh.

A Drudiggon and a Mightyena. This sucks.

Also oh god bright lights.

This…this…

Lady thing. Brought floodlights down here. FUCK MY EYES ARG.

"Get him!" OH SHIT

FUCK

OW

Ok.

Calming down.

Really calming down.

_You were just hit by what was probably a dragon claw. The odds of you surviving is pretty low._

Might be why I'm feeling a little light headed. Woo.

…My eyes have adjusted, let's take a look see.

The world is all spinny and shit.

I can see…

Bright red.

Yep.

Bright red.

Boots.

Skirt.

Also bright red.

Outfit thingy.

That's also bright red.

And an idiotic face visor mask thingy.

Wow that looks stupid.

Is this one of Team Flare's admins? What's her face?

Fuck I fought them like all of five minutes.

_You're also on the ground. May or may not be bleeding out of a wound in your back._

Yay…fatal injuries.

Wow I feel really light headed.

...

Getting some feeling back into my arms though. Wonder how that is.

...

No, just the left. Right is still numb.

...

Focused now.

Let's do this.

"All in! Pin them down!"

All in. Keyword I made all of my Pokemon learn. When I yell it, it means one thing.

All active pokemon (within hearing and acting range, obviously) activates all currently inactive pokemon, and attacks everything they see (within reason).

Drudiggon, Mightyena.

Face the might of the Eevee Army!

…

…

…

Also wow an army of Eevees is the loudest thing in a relatively small and enclosed space.

Not much echo though.

_Damage assessment: Apart from your right arm you should be fine. Currently nothing requiring an endorphin flood to dull the pain._

Which explains why my back feels all stabbed out.

_It's good. It means you get to survive._

Let's…get back on our feet now, shall we.

…

Let's also avoid using the right arm because it hurts like fuck to put any weight on it.

Eevees, Eevees…

Are swarming at the Drudiggon with the HeroVee calling out orders. I think it's calling out orders.

Apparently that Drudiggon doesn't have rough skin? I guess?

Every time it takes a swipe, HeroVee would bark an order, and the Eevees that would have been in the line of fire would either dodge out of the way or more frequently be dragged out of the way by other Eevees.

The Mightyena…is staring down El, two Eevees, and maybe Ratty. Too much debris to tell. I guess that's how intimidate works? On one hand we have numerical superiority against it and aren't willing to attack, on the other it's not doing anything for fear of being ganged up on? That doesn't seem right.

"Enough!" Woman's voice. Probably orange skirt.

_Were you expecting a man in that getup?_

I make no judgments.

"All units, " whups "halt!" Almost said Return there for a second. Return's an actual move and might cause more problems than it solves right now.

Drudiggon and Mightyena return to their side, my entire army of pre-evolves return to mine. Ratty and HeroVee are still itching for a fight.

Down kids.

HeroVee snaps at me.

…

Well that might cause problems in the future. Hrm.

I know little guy. But still.

"Stay put for now." Growl. Bloodthirsty much? Sheesh.

…

"Who are you?" The orange woman said.

_Whatever happened to not judging?_

What, she's wearing orange, sounds like a woman, and I have no idea what her name is.

"An explorer. Who's asking?"

Wow she actually seems…actually I can't tell what her facial features are like because the stupid visor thing's in the way. I'm gonna guess she seems offended based on how much straighter she's standing.

"I am Aliana, Scientist of Team Flare! Commit it to memory, little boy." Lit…I'm in my twenties for god's sake.

_You don't look the part._

Ugh.

…

Wait.

Is there someone else here?

"What are you doing down here?" Whoa there HeroVee. Stand down.

"You first." Really? At least I have a legitimate reason.

"I was curious. I walked from Cyllage to here for this shit. Your turn."

_A legitimately stupid reason._

"I am here for the future of Team Flare."

_Equally ambiguous._

I wish.

"Lysandre's back there?" Lie-sander. I'm not sure how his name is really pronounced.

Wow, that was a flinch of epic proportions. Mightyena's hackles are up, and HeroVee's responding in kind.

_Remember how there were no "five heroes" around?_

Means the Pokemon SWAT team could've used an information blackout.

"How did you know?" Because you just told me. Hrm…

Might as well play it up. "Because you just told me; who's Lysandre anyways?"

"Our glorious leader." She says, and then proceeds to…pay absolutely zero attention to me and turn to the rubble pile behind me.

Lysandre's buried beneath that?

…

Here's to hoping he died a quick clean death then.

…

Mightyena's keeping tabs on us while the Drudiggon's doing the digging.

…

On one hand I'd like to back out quick like before wounds get to me, on the other hand…

I'm not sure she'd let me walk out of here alive.

An army of Eevees can't stop a charging giant war dog from taking a fast bite.

Hrm…

…No HeroVee you can't go toe to toe against the giant war dog.

I said no.

…

Stop.

Goddammit.

HeroVee, back to your ball. Disregard indignant Eevee yelling.

I should get him checked out quick-ish. Death seeking tendencies for a small animal is usually not a good thing.

…

Crumbling.

Lots of crumbling.

"Sir! How are you…" Alive?

Fuck that is Lysandre.

That is Lysandre who just stood up.

After being trapped in rubble for, what, longer than humanly survivable?

Apart from looking dirtier and generally unkempt dude is fine.

…

Shit, does this mean him (and, by extension, AZ) are invincible?

…

"You are…" Lysandre's looking at me. But I can't make out his face. "I see."

_Remember the dude is smart._

"I don't see. Care to fill me in?" I release HeroVee again. He's pissed but keeps quiet.

"You're not from around here, are you. A stranger to the Universe." How apt.

"What gave it away, my outfit?" Shit, if I need to fight my way out there are going to be casualties.

Casualties for me and me only.

"Don't worry. I'm not in any position to fight right now. Rather, I would like to know…in your world, has the problem been solved?"

…Dude is smart and focused.

"No, not really. The general populace is rather happy with pretending there isn't one." I'm assuming he means the depletion of resources, since that kind of was his thing.

"And are you happy about that?" …what?

"About…the pretending there is a problem or the fact that there is a problem?" _…what?_

"About how humanity seems happy to ignore their doom until it is too late."

Doom. Huh.

"Meh. Everyone likes what they know best." I shrug. "You're better off holding whatever miracle cure you have until the brink and then releasing it though. Makes you a hero and solves the problem."

"That," Lysandre dusts himself off. "Is unacceptable. I will not tolerate unnecessary loss of life for my personal glory."

This. From a guy that activated a world-killing flower nuke.

_Remember how he's also slightly insane?_

"And the giant flower is…"

"An unfortunate but necessary result."

"Bullshit. And yet you wonder why nobody takes you seriously." To be fair he actually didn't say as such, but eh.

"I am doing what is right for the world."

"You are doing what's right for your little group of fans."

"When we have succeeded the world will be free."

This is getting stupid.

"It just means in the future the same tragedy of the commons crap will happen, this time caused by an idiot from team Flare."

"I am now immortal; it will not happen."

…

Point. FUCK YOU IMMORTALITY.

…

Uh…hrm.

…

Now what?

…

…

And now he's laughing.

Double what.

"Relax. I've had a lot of time to think down here."

Oddly friendly of you to not be stewing in vengeance.

"Truth is, there's something else at work here. At every turn we were stopped by someone else. I assume you're aware of our plans, universe differences notwithstanding?"

Nod. "A bit. I didn't pay too much attention though. Your, uh, actions, were a game in our world. And I kind of breezed through them."

Lysandre hmms.

_That is a horrible description._

Fitting though.

"In our reality, our plans at the Pokeball Factory and Kalos Generator were foiled before they were able to come to fruition; as such we were never fully able to activate the weapon. It blew up underground and destroyed Geosenge as a result, but the world at large doesn't know of us very well."

Huh, what…oh. Hand up. He's saying _Let me finish._

"The Kalos Rangers are very, very good at their jobs, but the main threat has always been someone else. That someone being Team Plasma from Unova."

Aliana looks shocked by this. Was she not briefed? I'm assuming he knew this before he was buried.

"But Unova is a frozen wasteland! How, where, when, did they come here?" She…wait.

What?

Unova is frozen over?

I never played B2 or W2 but what?

"Explain."

"Was Unova not one of your stories?" Lysandre asked.

"It is, but I never played either one."

"Ghetis harnessed the powers of Kyurem, the legendary pokemon of Unova, and an array of NeverMeltIces. The end result was an area-wide deep freeze."

Oh. Oh shit.

"The station that houses said setup was the epicenter of that…insanity, I'm guessing."

Lysandre nods. "Many soldiers have died in order to destroy the station. It was ultimately destroyed, but Ghetis predicted that it would not last forever. "

Shit, he had a backup?

_Not likely, more like he had a fuck you move._

"The destruction caused all the energy harnessed to run wild, and plunged Unova into, well, what we know of it today."

"A large, smooth sheet of ice." Aliana, thank you for that bit at the end.

…

This means…

"Of the Unova populace…"

"Less than one percent of the population survived."

…

"And Ghetis?"

"Died along with his station."

"And the Ice?"

"Many attempts have been made to defrost the area, but nothing works."

"Not even Fire legendaries?"

Lysandre shakes his head at that. "They have not appeared to help."

Well, fuck you too guys.

"So team Plasma is operating in Kalos?"

Aliana spoke up for this. I suppose being trapped underground doesn't help for current events. "They are not. While we're not sure where Team Plasma is they are certainly operating near Kalos, probably near the border."

Lysandre again. "While I'm not sure what kind of portrayal they had in your stories, in this world they are an extremist terrorist organization, willing and capable of the utmost extreme actions to achieve their goals. With the loss of their leader they have, if nothing else, became more vicious for petty vengeance."

Great. Just fucking great.

So now the mock Concerned Parents group is now a mock Fuck the World group.

…Hell, not even a mock group.

"I had good reason to believe Team Flare was used as a scapegoat; team Plasma may be planning something with Kalos, but without the help of a legendary Pokemon I doubt they can go very far."

So…

"Do you know where Kalos's legendaries are?"

"Xerneas is underneath this…base, and Yvetal hasn't shown itself." Yay.

…That leaves the last one.

"What about Zygarde?"

Lysandre looks confused. "I've not heard of that Pokemon."

…well that's actually a good sign. "Then I guess the only ones who know of it are the three of us here. Good sign, good sign…"

"That might change in the future. Are you aware of where it is?" Aliana.

Uh.

"No, actually. I never looked for it." I shrug. "I spent all my time making competitive-styled teams out of low tier Pokemon."

Lysandre looked…intrigued? "Explain, while we leave this place."

…

Oh yeah we've been down in this tomb-like place for god knows how long. "Got a way out?"

Aliana gestures that I should follow her. Which we do.

Because honestly she's the only one who's probably thought of how to actually get out.

_That is sad._

Yeah, yeah…

…

…

Having to explain EV, IV, natures, moves, STAB, and so on to Lysandre is actually enjoyable, not gonna lie.

He seemed…pleased, I guess, that we Earthling trainers paid so much attention to getting the best pokemon and leaving the rest by the wayside. Not sure how I feel about that.

…

…

Also HeroVee was paying attention; everyone else was returned to their balls. HeroVee stayed out due to sheer stubbornness and Zubat was left out as a just in case measure if we got lost. Not going to say that out loud for fear of Mightyena face rippage.

The Mightyena's actually guiding our way out. I'm assuming with Odor Sleuth.

I'm also pretty sure HeroVee's going to opt in for some kind of bullshit training now, except I have no idea how to do EV training in this real life and I made that point as clear across as possible. I'm still not sure he got the hint.

…

…

"It seems your world's Pokemon are regarded with much less…love." They're bits of data, it's kind of a given.

"Well…our Pokemon equivalents are regarded with possibly more love than we do for our own children." Lysandre looks at me weird. "Possibly."

"I see."

Lysandre then…

…proves himself a master of disguise by smoothing his hair back and wearing a pair of shades. If it wasn't for the garish (but very dusty and damaged) orange suit he'd be unrecognizable.

_Which means you can still tell who he is from a mile away._

Effectively yes.

"Gonna go under cover now?" I grin. Can't help myself.

Lysandre nods. "I can achieve much by remaining out of sight for now." Good luck with that giant body of yours.

…How did people not notice AZ for 3000 years anyways?

Not needing to eat probably helped a lot in that.

_So how did he get his clothes?_

The design team gave it to him. Stop asking non-critical questions.

"This is for you. A token of my…thanks." Lysandre's giving me…a black card.

"Uh…thanks? I guess?" Might as well take it.

"Your background makes you unique. It benefits us as well; wouldn't surprise me if you accomplish great things in the future."

Dude's pretty good with his self-insert fanfics.

…Would that make me a Gary Stu?

_Considering you're actually bleeding in several locations the signs point to no._

…Oh yeah, that is a thing.

No wonder I'm feeling stickier by the minute.

_I'm going to direct all your attention to your wounds now and take away the painkiller adrenalines._

No wait brain ARG

You know

Papercuts

Are actually a huge deal

When you realize you have them

Ow.

Fuck.

And realize they're actually not Papercuts and your brain lied to you

…Lysandre. Yes. Focus on him for now. "So what now for your team? Vigilante action against Plasma?"

He shakes his head. "Not yet. I must rebuild first." He looks around, and scowls. "It seems we have talked too long. I bid you farewell. In the future refer to me as Lyle."

Lyle. Really, dude.

…aand wow he's gone. That's…impressive.

Ok wounds are flaring up now.

Ohey look the attraction attendants. Somebody get me an ambulance.

_By the way your wounds were more severe than I thought._

Thanks logic that would've been nice to know earlier

_You're welcome._

Darkness.

…

…

…

…And hello hospital bed. Ugh. Ow.

I feel like crap.

…How long was I out?

…

Stir.

…

Nope.

Grunt?

…

Yep. Cool.

Hello Nurse…Audino.

Can I get someone that can talk human?

…

…

Yes, I needed that water. Quite perceptive of you.

…

Where are my…ah, there they are, on the counter. Not out of reach. Good.

…

But all of the balls are open.

…

Did everyone go out for a drink or something?

...

Oof!

Hello Eevee number god knows what.

…and your three friends.

Six friends.

All of your friends.

Plus HeroVee.

…

Ok, ok, you've made your points. Can we stop with the licking? I'd like to get a word in.

Oh little buggers are smart. My arms are pinned.

…

This would be a lot better if I could speak out loud but noooo

…

OK MY FACE IS CLEAN NOW THANK YOU.

Aaand now the snuggling.

I don't see why I'm complaining.

…I'm complaining because the cuteness is overloading. Guys, guys.

"Ok, ok, stop." Sheesh. Finally.

…

D'aww at their giant, brown eyes and perpetually smiling kitten lip.

Not like my cat from home. With his perpetually…judgmental kitten lip.

As all cats are wont to do.

"You're awake! That's excellent." A nurse says as she enters the room. She stops for a moment because there are a dozen Eevees on my bed. Plus Ratty and El who just jumped on, and Arty in the corner being Arty. Zubat is…

_Actually eleven Eevees_

Zubat had returned to his ball at some point. He is a bat after all.

"How long was I out?" I'm asking this question with disturbing frequency.

_Twice._

Way too many.

"Three days; there are some questions the park staff would like to ask you later but first, how do you feel?"

Hrm… "Pretty good; my limbs are a little tingly but otherwise I feel perfect." Not related to the Eevees sitting on my arms, I think.

She smiles. "The tingly sensation will subside; it's a side effect from a Chansey egg. You'll be cleared to leave in a few minutes." She looks at HeroVee, who's sitting off to the foot of the bed.

Right. I…pretend to snap my finger. Because an Eevee is still sitting on my arm.

Three Eevees are snuggling my shoulder, with one sitting on my arm.

"Do you guys have…uh…" This might count as a major faux pas. "Do you guys have Pokemon Psychologists?" HeroVee stares at me for a moment.

She takes a slight glance at HeroVee. "Yes, we do. I'll have him come up to talk to you shortly." Oh, good signs.

Or really bad ones.

…

So. Park staff.

They're not happy about me being in a very, very restricted area.

Why was I there?

"I was curious. The area's ruined and my kleptomania kicked in." Drive down the road of lies for the greater good.

How did I get injured?

Swerve! Avoid the pits! "I found some other treasure hunters down there and we got into a fight." Half-truth, in case one of my Eevees decide to have a conscience attack. Lysandre would technically count as a treasure anyways.

"We didn't see anyone else when we got to you."

"Then that means they got away." I shrug.

"You don't seem too worried about it."

Hoo boy. Burn the damned bridge to the ground.

"I'm not. I walked away alive from a severely dangerous situation and nobody's badly injured." I say, nodding towards my bed full of small adorable bundles of fur. "Whatever they stole can't have been too important considering how stripped the area was."

Ding. That's a good point. What happened down there is kept in information blackmail.

The Park Staff guy nods. "Considering the circumstances, stick with your story and we'll be fine."

…I'm not _that_ horrible of a liar, am I?

He leans in, and drops his voice. "I've been briefed that you happen to know more than you let on. We, the Rangers, are willing to let you go with a slap on the wrist in exchange for your continued silence. Is that clear?"

Sounds good to me. I shrug and nod. He leans back and puts a genuine smile on his face, both reassuring and reprimanding at the same time.

Damn good actor.

"Don't do things like this again. Your enthusiasm is appreciated, but leave going to dark and dangerous places to the professionals." He tosses my "You can be a Ranger Too" recommendation onto the bed. "Wait for your badge before doing this." He chuckles.

Scary good actor.

"Yes sir." I say, attempting a salute but only managing to annoy four Eevees.

One of the Eevees did my salute for me, so it's all good.

...

Well, it really only raised a paw up, not to its forehead, just up.

But the sentiment still stands.

…

…

Psych Time.

Might be a good idea to get everyone minus HeroVee back to their balls for this.

…

Hello Psych. Come in, sit down. No preamble.

Here we go.

"I'm assuming based on how the nurse worded things that you're aware of what's going on to HeroVee here." I pat HeroVee while stroking his fur.

"Yes, I do. She's certainly exhibiting a level of combat enthusiasm unusual for an Eevee" she? "But she's informed me that she is quite aware of what she is capable of, and will not overstep her limitations."

That's great, but…

"Residual damage? She did see two family members killed in front of her." I feel HeroVee tense up visibly. Sorry man.

Er, girl.

"I am aware. When she needs the support, be there for her. Otherwise…" Yeah.

So I guess there is some PTSD involved.

I'm not familiar with psychology, so the only thing I can do is watch and wait.

…

Another question.

"This is probably not your field, but is there some way to not permanently evolve an Eevee with a stone?"

Straight out of the Left Field!

He looks surprised. I would be surprised. "Not that I'm aware of; if it's questions about evolutions and stones they should be directed to Shalour's gym, but in my personal experience Eevee's evolutions into Flareon, Vaporeon, and Jolteon are permanent."

Hrm…

HeroVee looks up at me. I smile at her, and scratch her rough tuft of fur just a tiny bit, earning an annoyed shake. "I would rather keep all of you as Eevees, but the ways things look power might be really important really soon."

HeroVee stares and nods.

…

Little guy, er, girl. Willing to go all the way for the sake of vengeance?

Doesn't seem all that healthy, but fine. Apparently we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

…

…

…

In any event. First things first, new set of clothes. And preferably something that double as armor.

_While we're at it, why not fantasize about how to best utilize the potential of freely evolving Eevees?_

Considering the circumstances

Oh look a bus, let's take it and look for some shops

Bus isn't all that filled, how nice. Window seat.

It's probably a good idea to not judge the Eevolutions based on their game stats.

With that in mind…

Flareon's most likely "power", all about blowing shit up while standing still. Vaporeon's most likely "defense", what with their access to acid armor

_Would this reality's Vaporeon get acid armor?_

Hopefully. They'll be useful in an aquatic battle anyways though.

Anyways.

Wait shop! Time to get off.

At least the town itself seems to be fairly busy, even if there are rather obvious gaping holes the regulars leave in the sidewalk.

Anyways. Jolteon's all about that speed. Will come in handy and if HeroVee develops a thirst for birds that might be the one she uses the most.

_And the others?_

Unless they sell charms to evolve into Leafeon and Glaceon those two are out entirely. Leafeon I can't see as being overly useful even as a physical attacker, and Glaceon would specifically be for anti-dragon action.

Clothing shop, dead ahead.

It's not that deserted and it's relatively large. Good sign.

_And Sylveon?_

And Sylveon…I can't see how Pokemon-Amie exists here so that's out until I do some research.

Ooh, Trainer-made reinforced undershirt.

Will probably save my ass.

…within my tight budget range. Awesome.

_Didn't Lysandre give you a credit card?_

He just gave me a card. Let's see…

…Yeah it's a credit card. Wonder if this means I have access to Team Flare's account. Or at least a part of it.

Let's go try it on. Changing room's…over there.

_Eevees_

Uh…where was I. Ah. Espeon's probably the one I want the most but evolution from friendship implies that it is irreversible, and having twelve Espeons isn't helpful. Like, at all. Umbreon would be good for tanking special hits but little else.

…I suppose I could make them all baton passers, but I have no idea how bonuses like that would even work in this reality.

Oof. Shirt is a little…loose. I'm skinnier than I thought.

Somewhat more muscles than before though.

What next?

_How would you make the whole Eevee business real if it isn't?_

Way I remember from Gen four the transformational stones release a ton of energy on evolution, so if that energy can be limited we can probably cause a partial or limited transformation until the stone wears out.

_Sounds expensive and potentially hazardous._

Probably. All the more reason to find out.

Ooh, reinforced black shirt.

…

HOLY SHIT THIS CARD HAS A LOT OF MONEY

…

Not abusing it, not abusing it…

But I got myself a new set of reinforced clothing. Inner shirt, outer black shirt, pants, shoes, the works. And a new bag.

…

And some top quality food for the entire team.

_Not abusing it?_

Not abusing it.

…

Fuck, Lysandre. Lyle. You are a boss. I appreciate this sudden and very helpful alleviation to what would have been one of my most serious issues.

…

Does this mean I can purchase a mobile base with it?

_Whatever happened to not_

Abusing it, yeah. Just a thought.

…

Welp.

I found _something_ in Geosenge. Not what I expected. And considering Unova, not what I wanted to hear.

_Considering Unova, how does an entire area get turned into a sheet of ice and we find no mention of it online?_

To be fair we did search for

Yes Eevee here's your under the chin scratches

We did search for "Heroes of Unova" instead. I guess the search engine culled a lot harder than we thought?

_Or we just weren't paying attention to the other sites?_

Hrm…yeah. That's probably it. Won't surprise me to hear there's another information blackout concerning that thing but it's fair to say the blackout in question would be very limited in scope in relation to an entire area being frozen to death.

Regardless, the next target is Shalour.

_Maybe we should go challenge the gym while we're at it. It would be the first gym._

Considering how pretty much everyone in the team is weak to fighting that's going to be a lot of not fun.

…wonder what happened to Anna.

_Imagine if she went to see her boyfriend._

…Yeah? And?

_Nevermind._

Can't force jealousy when there's no chemistry.

_We're taking the bus this time right?_

Hell yes. Fuck multi day journeys.

_You'll change your tune soon enough._

Not this time I won't.

.

.

.

* * *

Author Notes:

I had fun in Geosenge. The town itself wasn't much.

_Did you get a souvenir?_

...Shit.

What kind of Souvenir would they sell?

_I dunno. Scrap metal_?

Enchanted Scrap metal?

_Hrm._


End file.
